I very stupidly looked at my undercarriage with a small mirror ......

[sheshootssheimplores]

Which I haven’t really done for a long long long long time. Prechildren probably 🥴

Wow it looks disgusting. I can’t get it out of my mind. DP was being very amorous last night and I didn’t want him near me as I’m so embarrassed.

I did have to look because I was bleeding from my backside (piles) and needed to know how bad the situation was back there. I have no reason to think I’ve got a prolapse or anything and my pelvic floor is very good, I can run, laugh, sneeze with no accidents. I don’t know though, does a post baby vagina/vulva look a lot different to a pre baby one?

I had an episiotomy so obviously there's a scar but i have healed so well I was shocked!

Bisexual woman here. Trust me, if I get near the vulva of a woman I fancy, my entire thought process is ‘holy fuck, this is amazing’ with no room for anything else I can’t speak for straight men but I’m pretty sure most feel the same; and to be honest, who wants to bother with the ones who think porn is better than sex with a living, breathing, beautiful human?

Just to add from my perspective: I have had beautiful, fulfilling sex with some glorious women recently. Mums who have pushed big babies out and who probably wouldn't thing their vulvas look attractive.

Believe me, in the moment they do look incredibly attractive. Not pretty, not neat, but gorgeous and sexy as hell. No doubt your partner loves yours too.

I've had c-sections and hate my belly, but neither is my fanjo particularly pretty for not having birthed through it.
Our bodies go through so much but are still fucking amazing

Yeah I had a gander a few weeks ago for the first time since having 2 babies within a year, last one 11 months ago. I have to admit i was pretty appalled by the change! Used to be quite happy with it- very neat and tidy and all that jazz - and it just looks like someone else’s now. Just really messy and jaggedy. Assuming that’s to do with the episiotomy/forceps/tearing et al. Not sure what I was expecting but it was a bit of a shock.

Still, I’m trying to be thankful my pelvic floor still seems in pretty good nick all things considered ...

Late 40s here. What’s the darkening all about? Wasn’t prepared for that.

Yes what causes the darkening? I'd love to know!

Maybe it's hormones. Estrogen?

@moofolk @KnitFastDieWarm your messages were lovely

Then there’s always the first grey pube!

My midwife told me to use a mirror to ‘take a look at what I was dealing with’ 3 days after the birth of my second very big baby.
I declined.

Can’t say I actually knew what mine looked like before I had my first child TBH. That thing in sex ed class where they recommend you having a look with a mirror at home, nope. The idea mortified me at the time, so I didn’t!

I can definitely feel changes now - honestly I feel more damaged by my tiny last baby than by my enormous (nearly 12lb) baby who was my easiest birth.

Either way DH isn’t complaining, it’s given him 3 children after all and it still has the same function, even if it is somewhat shabbier. Anyway, after the last baby something shifted and I now orgasm more easily, so swings and roundabouts :o

eh, just don't look? I don't think I ever have.

I had two c-sections so no problems
with coughing/sneezing/trampolines, however it still looks like roadkill & what you describe has happened to mine.

Recently diagnosed with pelvic organ prolapse though - which changes the exterior in the way you describe - I now have barely any perineum at all (& one of the side effects of a prolapse can be piles if it’s a rectocele, I don’t have them either though - which is something). Worth checking out anyway. Although from all the replies above probably more likely age & childbirth. Women do get all the fun stuff don’t we, all DH has to contend with as he (and his genitals) age is saggy balls!!

I looked a few days after birth to sort of ‘face my fears’ and actually it looked nowhere near as bad as I expected given how it felt.

I’ve just looked again, 18 years later. My vaginal opening looks pretty much how it did before I had a kid. It just looks like a vulva and vagina. And we know they don’t conform to any one standard in real life.

“Anyone remember how back in the day we used to be encouraged to look at our undercarriage with a mirror to empower ourselves and celebrate our female bodies?”

Those vagina artworks are really needed!

Yes hormones and menopause cause all kinds of changes too ....

After baby number 2 I was so worried about how mine looked I went to the doctor and asked her to check it was ok! She had a peek and says it was fine, just the normal consequence of a vaginal delivery.
After number 3 it looked even worse but I have accepted it and there’s other things to worry about. My labia are much bigger and flappier, hardly any perinium left, I have a minor prolapse (doesn’t cause any problems, but is visible) and the remnants of piles (all gone but left some scarring).
Apart from doing pelvic floor exercises when I remember, there’s not much else I can do so I don’t worry. No way would I risk plastic surgery.

Have you seen any penises lately? Frightful looking things!

And don't get me started on balls... No beauty contests being won there.

And the worst part is there owners cannot live in blissful ignorance by simply avoiding small mirrors like we can. They are faced with these things everyday!

`100 vulcas

It is a guardian article, not porn but obviously don't click if you don't want to see vulvas.

I don't think any of the 100 are what you could call attractive, some are downright ugly and none of them look like they would be in a porn movie but this is what real women look like.

That should be 100 vulvas in the link btw

Socksontheradiator
Well said !

God what does it matter as long as it still works?

I've had children and am in my late 30s and lately been complimented on how I look so I'm not worried at all. If any man has a problem with the aesthetics of my genitals he won't be going near them again, that's for sure.

SinisterBumFacedCat but mine doesn't, so the fact it both looks broken and IS broken is pretty crap to be honest. And people are allowed to feel how they feel.

I had a labiaplasty at age 20 for functional reasons - being totally honest I don’t think I’ve really looked much at my vulva since , and that was in 2011 ... I’m still a bit scared to - looked awful before and not much better directly post op , like a watermelon that Frankenstein had attacked ...

Yup I did the same for the first time in years and was horrified. I used to have a nice neat one, now it's like a burst couch. DP is always saying how nice it is so I thought I would have a look, it's not 😂 I'll leave him to look from now on.