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Original poster

Would you charge a family member for a rasher of bacon?

155 replies

heatherblue · 29/07/2019 23:57

Our adult son lives a few minutes drive away. He messaged me today asking if we had a spare slice of bacon, he needed one for the recipe he was planning for tonight and wouldn't have time to shop after work. Sure, I said, I'll swing by and leave it in your fridge. Told DH where I was going and he said "Is he paying for it?" and he wasn't kidding! Gobsmacked.

OP posts:
LadyInParis · 30/07/2019 10:38

@BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack 😂 i didn't spot that, good point! He doesn't have a car so he is at least being responsible for the environment that everyone is suddenly up in arms over, despite its irrelevance really to the actual question! He doesn't ask much for favours, he travels responsibly environment wise, doesn't seem to bother his mum much. Jesus Christ just take the bacon for the poor lad! Maybe he is enjoying becoming a responsible man, learning to cook new things, be independent, so that when he meets someone he can be a helpful partner! And he found a recipe he likes and that he has wanted to practise, feels proud and would just like a bit of bacon to top it off. Either way IT'S A 5 MINUTE BACON DRIVE!

SciFiScream · 30/07/2019 10:43

So much weird in the OP! A request for a single rasher of bacon? A Mum willing to deliver to fridge the same day? A Dad who comments on the price of a rasher of bacon as recompense?

Weird, weird, weird.

Use a different recipe and pick up bacon later - that's the crux of the matter, then the following weird things wouldn't have happened!

We do lots of favours for neighbours and family - but this one is just weird (weird as in funny)

Butterymuffin · 30/07/2019 11:23

I don't understand why he has time to make a new recipe he's not tried out before, but not to shop. It takes me under a minute to walk into a supermarket or corner shop (they all sell bacon) buy the one item I want and leave. I can't help agreeing with posters saying this is about wanting an easy life and knowing muggins mum will sort it all out. This is what the dad is alluding to, I think. I wouldn't charge, but I would question my son's inability to find and use a shop on his way home from work.

lyralalala · 30/07/2019 11:55

It takes me under a minute to walk into a supermarket or corner shop (they all sell bacon) buy the one item I want and leave.

Corner shop here doesn’t sell anything like bacon that needs refrigerated. The only fridge item is milk.

Most folks who don’t drive (as the op’s sin doesn’t) get their shopping delivered as it’s two buses away. It’s bad enough by car!

There’s a small “supermarket” in the next village that might have bacon, but his stock is so unreliable you’d be taking a chance. It’s also out of financial reach of some folks - last time I went I got milk, paracetamol, a packet of cold meat and bread and I was nearly £10.

LadyInParis · 30/07/2019 11:56

Yes because that is what op said.. That he does this all the time because he can't even find a shop and I'm always picking up after him.. Right? No. She said he is rarely ever a bother. Stop projecting

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2019 12:00

I'd happily do this for my daughter, the op said it's mins away and she has the bacon, and it would be a balllache for him to go shopping and that he hardly ever asks.

Some right twats on here giving it baby talk and pandering. Makes you wonder how some folks parent. Drag them up and kick em out basically.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2019 12:04

“I don't understand why he has time to make a new recipe he's not tried out before, but not to shop. It takes me under a minute to walk into a supermarket or corner shop (they all sell bacon)”

Can you not understand that other people live in different circumstances to you? My nearest shop, for example, is 2 miles away......

derxa · 30/07/2019 12:15

I'd deliver a whole pack of bacon if my DS needed it and tease him about it for a week

Abhann · 30/07/2019 12:27

So much weird in the OP! A request for a single rasher of bacon? A Mum willing to deliver to fridge the same day? A Dad who comments on the price of a rasher of bacon as recompense?

I assumed that the father's comment about the son paying for it was a wry acknowledgement that for a mother to drive to deliver a rasher to her adult son's fridge for a recipe he absolutely needs to make but has no time to shop for is a bit weird.

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2019 12:29

My rule of thumb on all these things tends to be, would I do that for a friend? I don't see any reason to treat your DC of any age, worse than you would treat a friend, be that a lift into town or a slice of bacon. People on mn can be really funny about it though. Whether they are the same irl I don't know though.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 30/07/2019 12:30

I regularly go to my parents house and 'shop' I do ask first before taking it, it's a joke now that they put things aside for me to have or I get the free one from bogof deals !! If I needed something and couldn't get out my dad would drive over with it for me or any of my sister's and wouldn't charge us at all !

EKGEMS · 30/07/2019 12:31

For that behavior not only would I give him ALL the bacon in the fridge I'd go out and buy a second package and hand that over in front of DH since I'm such a petty bitch

Toddlerteaplease · 30/07/2019 12:35

My dad would absolutely say that as a joke! Are you sure he wasn't being sarcastic?

gingersausage · 30/07/2019 22:12

@LadyInParis I haven’t got a bloody car, I can’t drive! It’s all immaterial though, given the utter ridiculousness of a grown man who can’t make himself a different dinner rather than have to have his mummy go running with ingredients.

SabineSchmetterling · 30/07/2019 22:50

I also do not drive and don’t have a car. DP can drive and has a car that gets used around once per month. I’ve been driven somewhere in the car twice this year. Once to a restaurant for MIL’s birthday and once to the zoo for my mum’s birthday. Some people just don’t use cars very much.
It surprised me that someone would drive such short distances. DP will take a much longer route on the bus/train or by foot if he can avoid having to take the car out. Driving round here is stressful and traffic and parking are a pain. Lots of my colleagues get the train or cycle to work every day despite being able to drive.

LadyInParis · 30/07/2019 23:23

@gingersausage Feel sorry for your kids if you have them and also proves the point I was about to post in agreement with @Bluntness100 Just chuck the kids out and dust your hands of them eh. I find your attitude repulsive and goady @gingersausage

WaxOnFeckOff · 30/07/2019 23:33

I wonder how folk manage to survive when they can't conceive that other people might not live exactly the same way they do. That not everyone has instant access (or any access sometimes) to public transport or lives places where you can easily walk or cycle with a branch of waitrose or lidl on every corner. That sometimes people actually love and care for their adult DC, even if they are men, rather than expecting all DC to automatically be able to manage a household the minute they turn 18 and are chucked out the door to fend for themselves.

The MN world where every 12 year old should be working in a local cafe to pay for their own mobile phone that they are not allowed access to until they are 14 and then only until 8pm and has no access to the internet.

I could go on clearly and it's obviously not everyone, but come on people, look beyond your own front door.

Rockbird · 31/07/2019 05:03

WaxOnFeckOff 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Well said.

SabineSchmetterling · 31/07/2019 06:51

In perfectly aware that other people live differently to me and, for the record, said that the OP’s DH would be bonkers to charge. I have no problems with people doing favours for other people, including their children. I expressed mild surprise that the OP would drive one rasher of bacon a distance that she or her son could walk. In fact, I would happily walk that sort of distance to drop off some milk, bacon or whatever to my parents or sibling.
Somebody else then suggested that those of us who mentioned the environmental impact were clearly hypocrites who drive about in our cars all the time. I was simply pointing out that that isn’t true. Not everyone drives everywhere.

WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2019 07:52

My post wasn't particularly aimed at anyone, however I would also add that just because something is only a 5 minute drive, it doesn't automatically make it walkable. It only takes me 5 minutes to get to work from DC school driving, but that is down the motorway. To walk would take well over an hour as I'd have to detour massively and either go cross country over farmers fields, or longer but walk down a 60mph limit road with no pavement for part of it.

Danglingmod · 31/07/2019 08:06

Quite. A five minute drive rurally/on quiet roads means five miles. Nobody on here is walking ten miles to go to the shop unless they have to.

Similarly, if you're in the middle of cooking (I know OP's son wasn't) you use your car when you wouldn't otherwise. My nearest shop is about a ten minute walk away, so minimum 25 minutes to get there and back and buy something. Fine on an early evening or Saturday morning. Not fine if you're in the middle of cooking and realise you need an onion. You get in the car.

Teddybear45 · 31/07/2019 08:17

Your son is a lazy git. My siblings live minutes from my mum and have never asked her to deliver food because they’re capable of getting it themselves. In fact they are the ones who often do mum’s shopping.

WaxOnFeckOff · 31/07/2019 08:24

Well you have no idea of ages or circumstances here. OP might be a fit and healthy woman in her 40s who doesn't need her DC to do her shopping for her (not saying that her DS wouldn't do her a similar favour as she's doing him) or she could be elderly and infirm and it would be appropriate for DC to be running errands for their DM.

BertrandRussell · 31/07/2019 08:35

I’d drive 5 minutes to drop off an ingredient- buggered if i’d walk 5 miles to do it!l

LadyInParis · 31/07/2019 08:46

@WaxOnFeckOff Agree with your points. Well made.

@Teddybear45 Yes, her working, and self sufficient son, who lives independently of her, and who rarely asks for favours, is clearly a lazy git... Hmm