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Original poster

Would you charge a family member for a rasher of bacon?

155 replies

heatherblue · 29/07/2019 23:57

Our adult son lives a few minutes drive away. He messaged me today asking if we had a spare slice of bacon, he needed one for the recipe he was planning for tonight and wouldn't have time to shop after work. Sure, I said, I'll swing by and leave it in your fridge. Told DH where I was going and he said "Is he paying for it?" and he wasn't kidding! Gobsmacked.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 30/07/2019 09:15

Maybe DH is fed up with OP pandering to her little boy. I mean really what adult asks this? He’s got time to go home and whip up this recipe but can’t pop into a shop? He asked because he knows mummy will jump, I’m all for helping out but this is a bit much.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2019 09:19

There are some deeply vile people on this thread.

YouJustDoYou · 30/07/2019 09:20

My MIL once invoiced us 49p for a set of cheap plastic zoo animals she supposedly bought back from a holiday as a "gift" for my ds.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/07/2019 09:21

God, some people are so strange. What's wrong with OP's DS asking a favour, I'm sure he wouldn't have had a strop if she'd said no, only on MN are there such wierd responses, I can't imagine anyone I know in RL having an issue. I would def do this for my DS, like someone pointed out what's the difference between delivering one item and delivering a whole car full, it's still the same journey. My partner on the other hand might be an arse about it to his DD, but guess who has the better relationship with their kid. I swear some of the posters on MN don't actually practice what they preach, they say what they think they would do, but actually never would. OP, your DS was not out or order and your DH is a tightwad!

Cheeseandwin5 · 30/07/2019 09:23

I have to agree with others, I think the insinuation the OP is making that is due to money is a red herring.
The fact a grown adult would ask and expect his mum to travel over for one slice (? I honestly cant believe that is it) of bacon and worse still OP would do it is ridiculous.
I would think the more likely scenario is OP's DH is sick of the son telling the OP to jump and her saying how high.

Littlepond · 30/07/2019 09:28

My mum would do that for me and I’m in my 40s. But I do stuff for her too. We are a “family helps each other” deal.

Clutterbugsmum · 30/07/2019 09:28

Why I don't understand why you would charge a family member for a slice of bacon, onion or what ever.

But why the hell would you Son doesn't drive and there's no direct bus between ours and his, would mean a bus all the way out here then back into town and out to his. A time consuming journey. Why not just go to a bloody shop he must pass at least one that sells bloody bacon.

NoLeopard · 30/07/2019 09:31

Bit disingenuous to not see the difference between a carful of shopping because someone is ill and a rasher of bacon for a whimsical recipe but I notice it a lot on here. Maybe an MN trait Wink

Bwekfusth · 30/07/2019 09:34

"Course I’d give them bacon.
Who’s going to wipe my bum when I can no longer do it myself ? 😂😂😂"

@Dowser I do hope that's a joke. Never in a million years would I expect or want that for my boys. It's not why I had them. Do people really expect that sort of thing of their children?

Anyway OP, if your husband was being serious, he's a bit of a dick. However if it's a few minutes away I would probably begrudge driving a single slice of bacon round.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/07/2019 09:35

I don't believe half of the posters above, it's easy to posture on a chatboad. If some of you are really that absent with your families then fine but don't look down other people who won't live by your 'code'. I really wouldn't want to live like that, you go ahead.

For myself, in our family, we delight in being able to 'call on' the special relationship that we have as family. Sometimes it's nice to want something daft or very minor that nobody else would do/bring for you - but family just would and do.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/07/2019 09:36

I got the 'bum-wiping' humour, Dowser. Grin

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2019 09:37

The relationship between a mother and son is the most despised on Mumsnet. A woman can have a close relationship with her mother- but perish the thought that a son can have a similar relationhip with his.

Chunkers · 30/07/2019 09:39

"Is he paying for it?" - yes, he’s related to you...

lyralalala · 30/07/2019 09:42

That sounds just like kind of favour families do for each other to me. I dropped 2 eggs off to BIL on Sunday as he was short midway through a recipe. He’s bailed me out several times when cooking I’ve realised one of the kids has scoffed an ingredient.

I was once in my neighbours house when her husband walked in after work. She immediately rounded on him " Have you had a tin of baked beans out of my cupboard?" "Yes," he answered "I had them on toast for lunch" She then proceeded to tell him he owed her 27p for the beans and as I left she was trying to calculate the price of a slice of bread!!

She was a truly lovely lady in so many other ways but god was she ever tight.

I did that once with my ex. We did our own shopping at his behest and he was always taking “just” a tin of soup or “just” a bit of cheese. The relationship was on its arse, but I knew it was over when I was so enraged at his penny pinching (he was debating if he should charge me the cost on the side of the can of coke he gave me or 1/6th of what he paid) that I costed up the slice of bread, cheese, tomato and chicken he had in the toastie he was eating and had him pay it then and there (minus the cost of the coke) Blush

gingersausage · 30/07/2019 09:48

@LadyInParis can you honestly not see the difference?

One thing for a recipe for one meal for one person? It’s not like it’s a bag of groceries to make lunches and dinners for the week. I’d say “don’t be ridiculous, make something you have got the ingredients for”. I’m not getting off my arse, getting the car out, wasting time and petrol, impacting the environment, for ONE SLICE OF BACON. If it was that important, he’d have nipped to Spar or somewhere. Doing stuff for people and being a nice person is not the same as being a ridiculous doormat. Loving your children sometimes means telling them they are having a laugh!

hadthesnip2 · 30/07/2019 09:55

I'm with gingersauasge. We would all do stuff for our kids but there has to he a line. A pp said what's the difference between going over with a bag (or 2) of shopping and 1 rasher of bacon. The difference is that OP's son doesnt need the sodding rasher urgently. He won't die without it. He either cooks something different or buys it himself on his way home. This is where the term "mummy's boy" comes from & the OP isn't doing him, or any future spouse any favours.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2019 10:03

Frankly- I’d deliver a rasher of bacon if it didn’t inconvenience me because I would find it funny.

IncrediblySadToo · 30/07/2019 10:06

All 3 of you are barking!!

ineedaholidaynow · 30/07/2019 10:10

In this situation I would treat a DS the same as a DD, why would their sex make any difference.

Driving somewhere with one rasher of bacon does seem a little extreme (and not very environmentally friendly) especially if the recipe could be adapted and it wasn’t the key ingredient.

Is there a reason DS doesn’t drive if transport links aren’t great?

LadyInParis · 30/07/2019 10:16

@gingersausage Interesting. We're all entitled to our opinions I suppose..

LadyInParis · 30/07/2019 10:22

Also don't understand why everyone is banging on about the environment. If you feel that strongly about a short trip to help your child, don't have a car. That was my point in regard to one bag or three etc.. So when it is deemed necessary, an ill grown up child is worth "impacting the environment" (with your own cars Hmm ) but a piece of bacon and he can piss off because I suddenly care about the environment despite owning a car and contributing to said environment issues. Just only when it suits you .. None of you get public transport or walk with necessities when your child is sick then? It's the environment after all.. Or when you need bacon or whatever you so desire the car use for, sod the environment then? Interesting

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/07/2019 10:26

Exactly Lady. People are banging on about the environment but then also asking why DS doesn't have a car. Surely he should be in credit for not having one, at least in credit by one rasher of bacon Grin

ineedaholidaynow · 30/07/2019 10:29

But Lady it can make a difference whether it is one rasher of bacon or bags of shopping.

I live within walking distance of a supermarket. If I only need a few items I walk, but if I am doing a full shop I drive.

In this instance I would assume a rasher of bacon is a nice but not key ingredient so probably could be done without, so avoiding an unnecessary journey.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/07/2019 10:32

But Ineed as OP's son doesnt have a car surely it's not that bad if his mum makes one "unneccessary" journey to his in hers. Do you never drive anywhere where you could actually walk, do you only use your car or essentials? Seriously? Why drive at all to do a full shop, just shop online and it will be so much better for the environment.

BertrandRussell · 30/07/2019 10:37

I would put it on a plate with a quail’s egg and a new potato and suggests he makes bacon, egg and chips instead.