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Original poster

Do you consider your in laws family?

117 replies

Firefly111 · 26/07/2019 07:32

As the title really...I’ve seen numerous threads where posters refer to their in-laws as not being family and I’m just interested if this is a popular view!

OP posts:
chamenanged · 26/07/2019 07:34

Absolutely.

IntoValhalla · 26/07/2019 07:35

No.
My in-laws (well half of them anyway) have decided that they don’t value any kind of relationship with me, DH or our children, so haven’t seen them in over a year. My kids are too little to even remember who they are.
It’s entirely their choice.
And as far as I’m concerned, they are welcome to fuck off to the far side of fuck Smile

GirlFliesHome · 26/07/2019 07:35

Yes!!!!!

Love my SIL. (PILs sadly deceased).

Might message her now actually.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
user1493413286 · 26/07/2019 07:35

I do and I’m very close with my mil but I do see his family as his responsibility in terms of keeping in contact and sending cards etc. I do arrange things with pil for them to see our DC but I enjoy that so perhaps if I didn’t I would leave that to my husband.

Starrynights86 · 26/07/2019 07:35

I view my brother’s partner as family but not my partner’s family really. We very rarely see them and I think it would be different if we saw them a lot, he also has a blended family (his mother has passed away) with a lot of emphasis on his stepsisters and it’s a real shame his dad doesn’t give his own sons more time.

GirlFliesHome · 26/07/2019 07:37

Intro I am a bit believer in cutting your losses with 'family' when they behave like that. Saves alot of pain- my DM ha stried for years to maintain relaitonships where they simply are not interested (and indeed actively hostile) and it has only served to cause her immense pain. Flowers

Bigearringsbigsmile · 26/07/2019 07:37

Yes absolutely.
They're as much my family as my family I'd that makes sense.

NaomiFromMilkShake · 26/07/2019 07:37

Ehhhh no, you clearly haven't met my SIL. MIL deceased.

Greenteandchives · 26/07/2019 07:37

Yes. More so than my own family.

GirlFliesHome · 26/07/2019 07:38

*big not bit. I need to stop typing when the cat is on my lap.

InsertFunnyUsername · 26/07/2019 07:38

Absolutely not.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 26/07/2019 07:38

Yes my IL are family, but I don't look at my brothers in-laws as family. Mainly because they are rude to us at every opportunity and often wouldn't turn up to my brothers family events on time or at all, so we don't see them unless it's totally necessary.

Bunnylady53 · 26/07/2019 07:41

Sadly my PIL are both no longer with us but I definitely count my sisters in law & brother in law as family. Not as close on DH’s side but very close to DB’s wife.

GotToGoMyOwnWay · 26/07/2019 07:41

Yes completely. I love my dsils dearly & adored my dfil. MIL not so much as she’s been a bitch to me but I still have to suck it up (cultural) & pretend she’s Mother Theresa. She isn’t! My BILs are lovely & I’d be gutted if anything happened to them.
We all go away & are supportive of each other.

My dsis husband is like another brother - I’ve known him for ever as they met when they were 17 & she’s younger than me.

My dbro wife is fantastic- she’s an amazing sil. We are lucky to have her.

And also culturally my in laws in-laws become family also. And we see a lot of them. So say my dc 18/21 in laws in-laws would always be invited!

So basically yes!

Fairylea · 26/07/2019 07:43

God no. My dh doesn’t even really speak to them but I know that’s unusual.

Oddly enough though I am very close to my ex mil and fil. I left their son when dd was 6 months old but have kept up a good relationship with them for dds sake and we are very close - I email / text them almost everyday and speak to them regularly.

munemema · 26/07/2019 07:43

I don't because DH is NC with his parents but he considers my family his family and for my mother he is very much the son she never had. She cooks his favourite foods far more than she cooks mine!

LolaSmiles · 26/07/2019 07:46

Yes I do.

Although I think whether you would see in laws as family depends on how family-equse the relationship is.

For me, there's no difference between how my IL treat me vs their own children and we do things as a family, I see them independent of DH, but if I didn't speak to them much or hardly saw them or they were rude to me then I think I'd put them in 'legally family but not emotionally family' category.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 26/07/2019 07:47

I treat mine as family but I don’t feel like they’re family. Those relationships are only there while the marriage lasts. I’m not expecting any divorces but I’m just aware of the frailty of those relationships.
I know I definitely wouldn’t see one of my sils ever again if there was a divorce.
Pils are wonderful grandparents so I’m happy they have a relationship with dc.
I treat everyone perfectly well, am polite and respectful, take time to converse with them and wish them happy birthday etc. I just don’t have the depth of those feelings.

Laniakea · 26/07/2019 07:48

God no!

DonPablo · 26/07/2019 07:50

Yes. I've been married to dh for 20 years and it hadn't been plain sailing with them, but my MIL has been utterly fantastic, totally there for me when my mum was ill, then when she was dying and then after she died. I don't think me, dh or the kids would have come through it all in the same way without her.
My mil and fil are divorced and my fil has also been fantastic. I feel very lucky.
I also count my mums best friend and her husband as family too. Her husband has been more like a dad to me over the years than my own dad. Family really isn't just blood is it?

AuntieMarys · 26/07/2019 07:52

No. Mind you my ex didnt like his family either

munchkincity · 26/07/2019 07:56

I do. My DPs are both dead and, whilst it took a while for MIL to accept that her precious son had a new life and new love Confused (long story, she was having her own issues and was suffering from depression) we have a great relationship now.
I'm not as close to my SILs as I am to my own DB, but I consider them family and their children's are as much my nieces and nephews as my DBs kids are.

Bezalelle · 26/07/2019 07:56

Absolutely. My MIL was my friend before she became my MIL (she introduced me to her son and we got together). I'm close to my inlaws because we share a religion - my own family are not religious.

HandsOffMyRights · 26/07/2019 07:57

No. They're lovely people but so very different to my family and me in many ways. I struggle with some attitudes and values and have to bite my tongue lots.

georgialondon · 26/07/2019 07:57

No