Uncomfortable realisations about myself

[RedHeadDiana]

Do you ever have one of them moment's were you have bad realisations about your character. Ive realised. ...

I'm lazy
I'm intolerant
I'm selfish

Yes, the older I get the more honest about myself I am.
I am very lazy
I lack any kind of drive with everything to do with anything other than my children

I am a pushover
I care too much about what people think of me

I've had a few of those realisations mainly that I don't make enough of an effort with people. Maybe that's because I'm intolerant and selfish too... Anyway I'm trying to make more of an effort.

I think we also have to remember that for all the negative sides to our characters there are no doubt positives too. What are your positives?

I’m still reeling from my realisation at the age of 20 that I was never going to write the next great British novel. I have all the originality of a greeting card rhyme. I’m 46 now .

I’m also lazy. And boring. Not to mention wildly judgmental.

I’m sure I have some redeeming features.

I'm very judgmental, and also over opinionated, I do try to hide both of these, by just keeping my mouth shut, but every now and then it all comes out.

I think I might be boring, not my personality I'm hilarious but DP often complains that I don't want to go out at weekends, drinking, socialising. I am very happy at home, pottering about.

I do not love anyone other than my children

If I never had to leave the house again then I would not miss interacting with people outside the home. Ever.

I will never again have a friend. Friends either die or betray you & kick you when you're down.

Inside my head, I am an island with no landing places.

(apologies for the darkness)

Recently I have come to realise
I'm way too much of a people pleaser and this is starting to come back to bite me.
I'm lazy and lack willpower.
I'm not as loyal as I thought I was.

I’ve come to realise that what I consider as being organised is actually bordering on psychopathic control of where things should go and what needs doing n the house!!! I need to chill the fuck out and stop harassing my family! Therefore you will find me sat in the garden( with the cat and the wine) for the duration of the summer 😁

I'm fat. Seriously fat. This weather has made me realise that I don't want to go out, and I have no clothes for my holiday.

Too late to do anything about it and I'm not sure I want to go; it's only the UK but still contemplating sending DH & DS and staying at home.

Love you woolly. You are me!

Yes. When I was 30 it hit me - it was like being doused in a bucket of cold water. I realised that I was vain, weak and selfish and completely unaware of others' feelings. A horrible moment of self-awareness. However, once you know - you can start trying to change. I suppose that is maturity.

Fab; here's my people. Can't be arsed to say more.

I am certainly lazy and have to fight against it constantly to keep a clean/tidy house
I am prone to horrible moods (could possibly be due to hormonal contraception - investigating) and I will not want to speak to anybody for a day or so
I am my own worst enemy - voice in my head constantly tells me off, puts me down, and I'm not sure I'm strong willed enough to stop it

I'm lazy.
I lack willpower.
I'm fat (probably because I'm lazy and lack willpower)

Work on them or accept them. Life's too short to get hung up on self loathing. Do your best not to hurt others and it's no one else's business if you're lazy.

@MsAwesomeDragon are you me?? 😂

I’m very opinionated, blunt and very vain.

But I don’t see them as negatives as my husband would just say in response that I know what I want and what I like, I’m direct and honest and I look great because I take care of myself.

Embrace your negative points and make them positives!

Awareness has arrived here too.

I’m a terrible listener
I’m judgmental
I’m jealous

I’m going to change

If I don't watch myself like an absolute hawk, I revert back to the behaviours my mother instilled in me, which I've spent the past 30 years trying to steer clear of, especially in relationships: dishonesty, peevishness, avoidance, self-absorption. The realisation that I still default to these behaviours makes me feel a bit sick whenever it dawns on me.

I am lazy.

I am socially awkward and always laugh at the wrong things.

There are things I want to do (and things I need to do) but I lack all motivation.

I am not suicidal by any means but I wish my life was over as it seems so pointless.

I adore my kids who are all grown up but other than that I much prefer animals to humans.

Ive realised that I have been hugely impacted in adulthood by an abusive childhood and this is why I have found so many things really difficult that should have been easy. Have accepted that I can't fix all the problems it's created but I can work on myself. Have also tried to stop beating myself up about all my failings.

I self sabotage
I procrastinate
I'm either all or nothing, which is why I spent years addicted to hard drugs and alcohol, which made me a terrible person to know

I'm a complete doormat and attract 'friends' that completely use me.
I try to please everyone
I am highly strung
I need to be in control

snog good for you x
In the same vein, had an epiphany that I'm not fundementally unlikeable, despite what I was told. And while it's hard not to keep assuming that, it's meant I've been brave & made some friends in the last few years.

But I've also realised, I'm tight, yet materialistic.
And I have obsessions - running, crafts, matched betting ... I need an all consuming distraction, always.

I think I'm more intelligent than most people and so give myself permission to disregard what they say.
I'm too honest even though I know I puts people off me.
I don't like most humans.
I can wait until my children leave home- the responsibility of it all makes me sad, and the stress of providing everything they need makes me resentful.
I'm a bit of a dick.

I care far too much about what other people think of me especially with regards to my appearance. I have a group of lovely friends but they are all better looking than me and very confident with their looks, make up etc. They always compliment each other which is lovely, but I just feel totally invisible - I don't think they've ever once said I look nice. Once you've noticed something you get a bit obsessed! Totally stupid I know, I just wish I didn't care.