Hands up, how many of us were smacked as children?

[Brownwool]

Just doing my own survey here. For me it was just normal. A bloody good smacking certainly taught us what not to do. It was more about my parents being unable to control themselves. And now things have changed so much. I just wonder how many MNrs were routinely smacked?

It was a threat in our household - the usual wooden spoon on the wall or dads belt hanging by the door - but it only ever eventuated once where I got smacked on the bum with my dads thong (flip flop for those of other connotations) and I remember bursting into a fit of laughter.. never happened again..

Yup smacked here and there, not very often. I don't smack my kids, but I don't think it scarred me in any way. Me and my brother got the odd smack usually for being boisterous in the home/ scrapping with each other. Never very hard.

Yes by both parents.

I never saw smacking as losing temper /losing control or lashing out though. It was more to teach us a lesson for acting up.

Also wooden spoon or hand was the tool of choice here, as far as I remember.

I wonder how many others are NC or have a strained relationship with their parents who regularly got hit.

Some of these parents sound horrible & cruel though so I wonder even if they didn’t hit if they would have had good relationships with their kids. Not defending smacking by the way.

Yes but not often. My Mum banged our heads together a few times which seems pretty bonkers now. Brought up in the 70s.

Not a single time and parents/grandparents never raised their voice to us.
No idea how it works, but we had the utmost respect for parents and relatives without feeling scared or restricted in anyway. As a grown up, I cannot even conceive the idea of raising my voice at anyone or hitting a single person (maybe only if I was attacked and had to defend myself but it never happened). And equally, I haven’t interacted closely to anyone who shouts or hits people (I instinctively know who they are and simply reject their company as I find such behaviour appalling).

Yes. Plus with a broom a few times. My dad also once pushed my face into a plate of spaghetti bolognese.

I was a child in the 80s. Neither of my parents ever lifted a hand to me. This seems unusual as most of my friends got smacked regularly for very little.

Yes I was, in the 90s, by both parents. I was always warned once and if I didn't listen I was smacked on the bum or back of the legs with their hand (no implements!).

I have mixed feelings about it. I didn't see it that they had lost control particularly (maybe they had), but as an adult with my own child I would never do it to my son. And wouldn't allow anyone else to do it to him. There are other effective ways to discipline and it just seems lazy to me. I'm not scarred by it though and wasn't afraid of my parents

I did. I'm 46. I was a "naughty" child and my Dad now jokes about how he smacked me until his "hand hurt" but I still wouldn't comply and be easy going like my brother.

I have two sons. One has always been quite spirited as I was, not once have I even contemplated smacking in his 13 years. The very thought upsets me greatly.

I have a cousin who I went to stay with for a few days when her son was 4. She smacked him in front of others and even joked to her friend when this clearly distressed me "wait until yours get to 4!" joking with her friend that I didn't understand because mine were just 18 months at the time. I later confronted her about it but it didn't go well.

Another friend had a child who was 6 months older than mine. She would occasionally smack the back of her daughter's legs. As a new parent I wondered if this was the norm at first, yet when mine reached that age I instinctively knew that no, that wasn't right and how could anyone contemplate striking a child?

Yes, by my father. This was in the 90s

Yes,a child of the 80s we were smacked as kids, everyone I knew was . I dont smack my kids now late teens.Honestly, these smacks as younger kids didnt bother me too much,the blacking my eye with a punch when I was 15 definitely did !

Yes. Not nearly as bad as some of the others - just with a hand - but I still found it pretty unacceptable and have a hard time forgiving it.

I was. And I hated it, I remember so many times where I knew I was right and my mum was overreacting, she'd usually apologise but id still be angry at her.

Last time she tried to I was 19 and back home for the holidays and I told her she does it again I won't come back so she stopped.

She had a horrible childhood so I don't hold her against her but I don't think it taught me anything other than see it as a weakness in my mother

Yes, mostly by dm. I can't say it's affected me much in the long run or even at the time but I always felt it was good to be scared of something as a means of discipline.

I always thought I might with my own dc but as I have matured I realise it is completely unacceptable and if you teach your children at home it's OK to get slapped then what is acceptable beyond that? I wouldn't want my child to think physically hurting a another human being for whatever reason is OK.

Just once and my mum was seriously angry with me (can't remember why). She was at the peak of manic depression and that was a real low point. I do not condone smacking children at all. It achieves nothing.

I was smacked (late 70s and 80s) and honestly apply the cliche"it didn't do me any harm". Any smacks I received were not as a result of lashing out in temper, instead I was warned repeatedly "if you don't stop doing X, you will have a smack" so I made a choice whether to continue doing X or not. I wasn't smacked regularly and when I was, it was usually because I was doing something that could harm me (letting go of a hand and hopping on and off the kerb into the road for eg) I was smacked only a handful of times and as I said, it was a very last resort after being warned a number of times.

Yup, all the time, hard, often round the head.

Now deep in therapy....

Mum smacked me for being shy, usually choosing a public location for this, like the swimming pool changing rooms. Because my shyness embarrassed her. I was shy and anxious because from age 4 to 11 at school we were under constant threat of shaking, smacking and full beating at school. And if it wasn't your turn for the violence, you had to watch someone else be beaten. This was the 80s and early 90s. It wasn't illegal in private schools, and my mum thought the 'excellent education' to prepare us for secondary school entrance tests was a reason to accept the violence. I didn't get a place at mum's favoured secondary school though because I refused to speak at the interview.

I had a breakdown at university and am still suppressing a lot of memories.

I've asked her about it recently but she claims not to remember.

Yes she used her fists sometimes
She beat the shit out of my sister one day, I remember the it well , smashed her face against the bathroom sink ....she was 6 years old
My mother is a cunt

bythestarry smacked for being shy? For your natural reaction to a situation? That's appalling, I'm sorry.

Yes, by my Mum. Never by my Dad. It was in anger but she never lost control, it was always with plenty of warning

Once.
I was having an tantrum and I slammed the lounge door as hard as I could (it had a large glass pane) and all the glass shattered and fell out. My mum said that my dad would deal with me when he got home.
And he slapped me on the bum and sent me to my room to think about the consequences. I also had my pocket
Money stopped for 4 weeks to help pay for the door (this was the 80s and I was about 6 so my pocket money definitely didn't make much contribution to the door! )

I never slammed a door again and I have a good relationship with my parents.