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Original poster

Hands up, how many of us were smacked as children?

318 replies

Brownwool · 19/07/2019 21:43

Just doing my own survey here. For me it was just normal. A bloody good smacking certainly taught us what not to do. It was more about my parents being unable to control themselves. And now things have changed so much. I just wonder how many MNrs were routinely smacked?

OP posts:
MadameRenard · 20/07/2019 00:30

Yes, by my mum with slippers, her hand, wire coat hangers, etc. I also had food thrown on me. My dad wasn't around.

hadthesnip2 · 20/07/2019 00:34

Yes.. ...by both mum & dad.

And I smack my kids now too. Well, only the youngest as the other 2 are pretty well behaved.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2019 00:36

Yes but it just made me more resentful and mistrusting of my mother.

Wasn’t just at home.

Got the cane regularly in school.

Whoops75 · 20/07/2019 00:40

Was never smacked at home

Teacher did and I nearly died.

Smacking a child is such an abuse of power, there’s no excuse for it.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2019 00:41

Cousin was belted with a strap until he did something and his dad went to get his trouser belt off and cousin bared his bum and said “What you going to do about it. Hit me? Here it is. Go on big man”

Birdie6 · 20/07/2019 00:46

I'm 60 , and no never. My Mum had been beaten as a child ( which I only found out from her sister). Mum obviously decided that this was something she would never do, and she didn't. Dad was the mildest man ever, and it never would have occurred to him to hit anyone.

I never hit either of my children , I always thought it was a horrible thing to do .

My ex was routinely beaten by his father, with a belt buckle. When he got to about 13 he was bigger than his father - one day his father went to get the belt and my ex punched him in the nose. It never happened again - but what a horrible way to bring up your children.

QueenAnneBoleyn · 20/07/2019 00:47

I was regularly smacked. My DM was a narcissist and control freak and my DF wasn’t happy in the marriage so I think the smacking was them venting their frustrations and losing control of the situation.
I couldn’t bear to smack my child and if someone else did I’d go nuclear on them.

QueenAnneBoleyn · 20/07/2019 00:53

It wasn’t just smacking with hands either. Mother used a leather slipper, a hairbrush and a wooden spoon.
Cruel woman. Also used to enjoy humiliating me. Needless to say we’re no contact now.

ysmaem · 20/07/2019 01:01

My dad never laid a hand on us but my mum used to give a smack bottom or smack on the back of our hand. She was home all day with us while dad was out until 7-8pm working so it would make sense she was the one who handed out punishment.

CrowleysBentley · 20/07/2019 01:02

I was. I'm 43, and was smacked all the time by my mum, for every infraction, real or imagined. Also lots of shouting and screeching. Less often by my dad, and he was less heavy handed. We had a terrible relationship, and i haven't spoken to either parent in years, for a variety of reasons, this is a very small part of the reason.

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2019 01:02

QueenAnneBoleyn
I wonder how many others are NC or have a strained relationship with their parents who regularly got hit.

QueenAnneBoleyn · 20/07/2019 01:17

oliversmumsarmy My brother was also smacked and is NC. It’s such a sad situation. I can remember physically hurting, being marked and at times feeling totally scared and bewildered as I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve it.

GeneandFred · 20/07/2019 01:20

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

Oliversmumsarmy · 20/07/2019 01:25

Cousin I mentioned is Nc with his father too.

MosquitoInAJamJar · 20/07/2019 01:25

Yes me and my DB, always by my dad. "It's going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you" right before he walloped us and he really did. Broke my DB nose when he was 15. Very emotionally stunted parents I have, should never have been parents really. Child of the 80s/90s.

Cautionsharpblade · 20/07/2019 01:48

I was smacked by both parents. It was the norm when I was a child. I had a friend who said she’d never been smacked and I thought it was weird. I was and still am close with both parents. I don’t have a problem with it.

Seahorseshoe · 20/07/2019 02:24

Child of the 70's. Would get an occasional smack from my mum, never dad. Looking back, we are really poor as a family, but I remember feeling sorry (in my head, not out loud) for all other children, because they were not in our family. Mum was not affectionate - but I felt so loved and secure. I loved my childhood, at the time and on reflection.

My take away from this is, just love your kids and do your best, all parents are going to mess up from time to time.

In this age of "perfect family" Instagram pages, most of it is bullshit and staged. People only show you what they want you to see.

1forAll74 · 20/07/2019 02:52

My Mother slapped my bare legs once,for "answering back" to her.She also kept a belt rolled up in the kitchen drawer,but never used it on me, it was used as a threatening thing for bad behaviour apparently.

It was very common for children to get smacked or belted in my childhood ,which was the late 1940 era, and some boys used to get caned at school quite regularly, and when this happened.there were no parents running to school to complain about their child getting caned.

thirdcoffeeoftheday · 20/07/2019 03:07

Yes, three times. And I respect my parents less for it.

Once for running across a small side road when I was little. With hindsight, I was too young to have been allowed to run on ahead near a road. I don't blame my mother for that; there are no perfect parents. But smacking me for her lapse in concentration was wrong.

Once for coming downstairs naked because I couldn't find an item of clothing. There weren't any guests around, just my mother. I must have been about three? Now that I know some three year olds, I find their love of removing clothing very annoying, but the idea of responding with a slap seems so bizarre and hysterically prudish.

Once for hitting my sibling after he'd been goading me all night and calling me fat (because smacking kids is the best way to teach them not to hit, of course).

Wincarnis · 20/07/2019 03:35

Yes, Mum with her hand and (rarely) Dad with his slipper. Being naughty in the car? being very cheeky? refusing to go to bed? Wallop!
.

isitwhatitis · 20/07/2019 03:53

Yes. Fathers belt.

Jurassicmuma · 20/07/2019 06:04

No never. My mum warned my dad she'd divorce him if he ever did to. I've given the same warning to my husband, I don't think he ever would anyway. I've seen my mil smack my nephew but she knows if she did mine she wouldn't see them for dust

Cliffdonville · 20/07/2019 06:17

Twice by my dad, and I'd never do it to my daughter. I remember each occasion and still feel angry about it when I think about them

S0CKS · 20/07/2019 06:47

If you class a tapped hand or a tea towel around the legs probably a half dozen times then yes and its done none of my siblings or i any harm

Gatoadigrado · 20/07/2019 06:55

Yes, child of the 60s/70s. Caned by my dad for things deemed ‘serious’ misdemeanours. I’m horrified now but I think smacking (though not caning) was quite usual back then. I only knew one school friend who said she wasn’t smacked as her parents didn’t believe in it which seemed very progressive to me!