Hands up, how many of us were smacked as children?

[Brownwool]

Just doing my own survey here. For me it was just normal. A bloody good smacking certainly taught us what not to do. It was more about my parents being unable to control themselves. And now things have changed so much. I just wonder how many MNrs were routinely smacked?

I was smacked many times, I don't remember the circumstances or how frequently. I do have one memory of shouting at my dad "hit me, go on then, hit me!" and he did. On my legs, I think.

I have never felt emotionally close to my parents. I can't put it down to the smacking, but it might be a factor. I really can't remember enough about it to say for sure. I've never discussed it with them. I don't think they're bothered by it.

One thing I know for sure, I could never ever EVER hit my son. It appals me.

Is the generational gap enough of an explanation? I'm not sure.

Yes. Violent father. Mother trying to keep children silent because he worked nights.

Haven’t visited his grave since burying him, about 20 years, and don’t know where she is buried. Could find out easily through public records, but I don’t need to.

Yes. I don't remember it anymore/ any differently than times I was told off, grounded, had things removed etc. I'm not emotionally scarred by any if it and my parents weren't/ aren't violent it abusive. It's just that times change.

Yes by both parents and Mum smacked me across face as an adult 3 times. Very limited contact now.

Yes, regularly by both parents in the 1970s/80s. It was often (usually) for minor things like leaving doors open or misbehaving on shopping trips.
Perhaps as a result my self-esteem has never been great and I can have a nasty temper too. But I was determined not to raise my child the same way and I've never hit him.

Not often but yes and always by my Mum - she once slapped me across he face when I was around 4 or 5 because I was playing with a sugar bowl in a cafe. Slapped me across he face again when I was around 6 because with had heard some boy swearing in the street and asked what it meant (I was exceptionally ill at the time and under hospital care for around a year). Child in the late 70s early 80s.

No

Yes, hand, slipper, belt. ☹️

Yes very occasionally when I got hysterical. It shocked me enough to calm me down apparently.

Same. From what I remember it worked. Not scarred by it and all on good terms now as we mostly have been.

Yes but I don't remember.
I remember the utter frustration of them not listening to me and understanding me though and instead shouting at me and sending me to my room. That was much worse.

I do not condone violence at all and would never hit a chid but I do think teenagers could do with fearing their parents a little more.

Yes, frequently. I was rarely naughty (far too scared of my mother to act up), but it suited my mother to take out her frustrations on me. I had a miserable chdhood, treading on eggshells and always in fear of when she'd be in another of her moods. The worst thing was that she had a very similar mother who she resented and had nothing to do with, but she was seemingly incapable of doing things differently to her. I don't have children, for a large part because of this.

Yes as a child during the 70s. It left me with some issues leading to no contact with each parent for some time as a younger adult (not solely to do with this by any means, but connected). Contact and love reinstated as as older adult. Both parents now died. Very glad I reconciled fully and properly and had really good times with both as adult for decades.
Properly looking back I see it as my parents losing control and just not knowing how to deal with us and getting it wrong.
I have fully forgiven them. I dont think one of my siblings has fully forgiven them even now.
Difficult.

Yes. Quite often by both of my parents.

My Mum stopped when I hit her back aged 16.

My Dad stopped when I threatened to call the police when I was 17.

I realise now that I was an extremely compliant child and my punishments were usually for arguing with them or for fighting with my sister who was the golden child and literally never smacked.

In later years, both of my parents denied having lifted a finger against me ever. The silver lining is that I think it reduced my grief for my dad who died in March this year.

I was, sometimes for things I didn't know were wrong, such as bumping into a blind man who suddenly stopped walking. My mum explained carefully why I was wrong to bump into him, then she smacked me because she thought I wasn't contrite enough. Result? I became a total people pleaser. To this day I feel extremely angry about this method of dealing with my mistakes, especially (as I saw it) cold-bloodedly making me cry in public. I was also smacked for retaliating when my brother deliberately wound me up.

I didn't get over my resulting fear of standing up for myself, and doing new things because they might be wrong until well into my twenties. This held me back considerably.

Smacked, hit with a cane, slipper, walking stick. Wooden spoon to the head (nearly loss consciousness that time). Later fists. I think it definitely escalated as I got older.

Yes. It's the reason I've not seen my father in 20+ years and also the reason I have a fairly distant relationship with my mother.

I remember running past my mum clutching my bum - and can laught about it This made me chuckle as I have similar memories.

I got the wooden spoon, not as a teenager but when I was younger. It was used more to shock me & I often got warnings which I clearly ignored. Hasn’t remotely had any effect on me or damaged my relationship with my parents. The night they grounded me & I missed a party is still a bitter memory though! 😂
My parents got hit at school & at home though so it was very normal for them.

Yes, occasional smacks across the back of the hand by my mum when I had done something like steal alcohol from the cupboard (advocat usually). Also the odd ruler across the back of the legs from teachers (in the 70's). I haven't suffered any long term consequences, it was just seen as normal. Once a week at school, during assembly, students who had been recorded as behaving particularly badly, were called up on stage and given the cane. Seems outrageous now, but we just accepted it as normal at the time.

Yes by both parents. My mum in particular would lash out, she had a drink problem. She has a long piece of wooden doweling which she used.
My dad could be pretty heavy handed, but he tended to be wound up by my stepmum, she would complain about me and my sister. She also used to hit us the last time was when I was 15, she slapped me hard across the face, I apparently I’d given her a dirty look it was one hell of a slap and Ii came close to hitting her back.

Yes. Quite often by my dad. And my sister.

I was smacked with an open hand, never an object, to discipline after bad behaviour. I was not beaten. There's a difference. It hasn't scarred or traumatised me.

I got the occasional slap from my mum if I was really out of line. Never hit hard and certainly not battered. I look back on a very secure and loving childhood. My mum was an amazing mum until the day she died ten years ago and I know she loved me beyond life itself. I’m not damaged in any way. It was just how life was in the 50s.

Yep, when I was naughty and I could be a little shit, he left his handprint on my back side and legs on a few occasions. I have absolutely no problem with it looking back. Nothing but the upmost respect for my dad.

Yep, loads

Lots of the posts on this thread are really sad. I only ever got smacked when I had legitimately done something naughty & I generally got warnings plus it was never that hard. Like another poster I absolutely hated getting sent to my room.