HV has told me my baby is too heavy

[NeverGotMyPuppy]

And I'm feeling really crap about it.

We had his 10 month check. He is weighing between the 75th and 91st centiles for weight but only 25th for height. She said there should be a maximum of 2 centiles difference between the 2.
She told me to stop spoon feeding him completely. This has thrown me because although he has breakfast and lunch as finger foods dinner is almost always spoon.

I just feel a bit low about it because I thought I was doing ok.

@GlamGiraffe thank you for your post. He will eat a slice of toast with half an avocado on it but obviously some ends up on the floor/me/the wall/ the cat.
I bulk cook and freeze in the NUK ice cubes - he will eat 3 of those sometimes so I think that's 180ml.
In a dinner there is usually at least 3 vegetables which is why I dont want to give up spoon feeding - I know he is having a good range of veg and protein whereas I cant guarantee that with finger food

@Bearfrills how very true. Sorry to hear of your aggro!

We had a baby on the 0.2 centile for height and weight and were told he would never jump more than 2 centiles, so would grow up much shorter than average. He is just adult now, and on 75th for both. These things are always exactly the case!

@NeverGotMyPuppy
I'm not familiar with the NUK cubes but if it's 180ml that really is an enormous quantity for a 10month old baby (sorry!)
I've only ever used old fashioned plastic el cheapo ice cube for drink trays and I'd say 3 or 4 of those. I also think a piece of toast and half an avocado is a lot. I'd give the toast and expect half to get chewed at, or the avocado with a spoon but not both in honesty.
I'd just think of milk is the real food and the actual food is more of a taste and texture experiment. Small amounts of loads of things to get them familiar and recognisable, not only In a combined form like a curry or stew, but in their own state, I.e. plain broccoli, cabbage or beans too., as you can end up with a child who won't eat things alone and will only ever eat mixed up dishes, similarly you get children who will only eat food with no sauce🙄 -then you get ones who are nightmares(not mine) and won't gave any food touching other food types on the plate!🙄🤷‍♀️...this is the stage for teaching them all about food so they dont get weird ideas about any of these food peculiarities. (Unfortunately once they have a significantly older sibling you become doomed and they will eventually be taught ketchup goes with everything..the latest battle i have lost😂)

You are doing great you have a baby who loves to eat.this is no mean feat. Just keep an eye on it. I personally would measure your baby myself if I were you and keep a note of weight and height. Can you weigh in odd on your bathroom scales? It's easy to measure length at home for an idea. You'll certainly be able yo judge if a such an growth spurt is happening. Hopefully DS will stretch soon so that he grows taller andthinbet. Boys tend to do that a lot IME. Good luck and don't worry.

@GlamGiraffe - thanks. Perhaps we are an odd group but all of my NCt friends do 180ml for dinner!

Ironically we dont own bathroom.scales - I have no idea how much I weigh. My size 8 jeans still fit so I'm assuming I'm ok.

I'm going to decrease the 'extras'(peanut butter etc), try to increase finger foods and really really make.sure I dont try to persuade him to eat which i think i have been doing a bit. Other than that on going to keep everythjng the same for now.

If I have been overfeeding him- this is reversible, right? Have I buggered his ability to stop eating?.

Mummoodo not give up the boob.

You have not been over feeding him?

He is on the same centile he always was.

You have 3 choices:

1. Starve him so he loses weight and gets ill
2. Make him grow taller using a wand
3. Accept that he is the same as he always was and there is no issue.

Obviously nobody in their right mind would think that restricting food is the answer. He is a baby and is growing so quickly, he sounds like he is perfectly fine and the same as he always was. please don't restrict his food.

So in summary, number 3 is the only option. Good luck.

It's very hard to over feed a baby by any significant amount. And unless you have been really trying persuade him to eat I suspect he's fine. Maybe just fine tune the content of the foods you give and take away any that's not eaten. Kids eating habits change all the time. There is alwaus tge possibility the HV might have neen one of the jit so good ones. If your DS son seems well and not wildly different to other babies you know If relax a bit. Your lucky to have an interested thriving baby

For perspective OP my medically fragile preemie had to have a feeding tube placed at 8 months so he could actually gain weight-the work of breathing was consuming all his calories. He had to have tube feedings just to subsist. We had him weighed frequently and his gains were so agonizingly slow! Hah he's now almost 19 and 125 lbs. (Not huge for his age but a damn sight better than when he was tiny)
Your son sounds happy,healthy and loved. That's all that counts. You're a great mom please don't feel defeated.

The babies I remember as being chubby butterballs are now both very tall and very slim young women.

After she ate so much the first couple of goes, I never bothered with cubes of food for DD2, she used to eat entire little Tommee Tippee bowls of butternut squash, and all her milk, at 4/5 months.

She is now a ten year old, 5ft tall and 6 stone. 95th centile for height, 45th for weight.

@3luckystars that made me laugh, thank you.

I think I'm going to make (another) appointment with my GP and discuss anxiety. I just feel exhausted and worried.

FWIW as a Mum of 8 children I would switch to Baby led weaning (get the book), which goes hand in hand very well with Breastfeeding (continue to breastfeed on demand) & then reweigh him in another 3/6 months by which time he'll be up on his feet. I've breastfed all my children and it's my experience that they (bar one of mine who is a real skinny mini and weighed 9kg at 2 and is still very skinny at nearly 8yrs old) all get some real baby chub that soon shift once they hit 1. I think the shift is usually due to them becoming much more mobile (greater energy expenditure) and also far less interested in food (due to decreased growth between ages 1 & 2 compared with 0-1 and also because there is so much more to be interested in). I certainly wouldn't get hung up on his weight - just let him regulate his own food intake.

180ml is fine. That's the size of jars marketed at that age anyway (though I'd be a bit sceptical about accepting what the baby food industry try to sell us as "ideal"), and very easy to get up to this amount if they are having a "main" and a "pudding" (I like to keep DS2 having regular fruit so he doesn't get constipated). Snacks as well would easily push this over. Babies vary enormously in their appetites at this age. Some are still eating a couple of teaspoons or bites, others will eat almost an adult portion e.g. for breakfast. As long as you are following their lead I think it's OK to give them as much as they want. Just be aware that foods with a high amount of salt, sugar or fats can override hunger type senses with feelgood type senses and cause them to keep wanting more, more. But from the sounds of what he eats, I wouldn't worry too much about this - just perhaps be aware if he is having meals with avocado, nuts, cream, etc.

We tend to use these as catch-all plates, bowls, snack pots and freezer containers, they are about the size of my palm at the base. Amazon says 300ml, and he's currently having porridge with berries, apple and cinnamon (defrosted "smoothie mix") up to about halfway - so I'd guess 150ml. He might want all of it or he might not, (seems to be slowing down now 2/3rds in) but it's a fairly standard breakfast for him. For lunch he will probably have a similar amount plus some fruit (one of the big nuk cubes, which I'd estimate at 80-100ml, depending on how you fill them).

Otherwise I am totally in agreement with GlamGiraffe :)

DS2 is a much bigger eater than DS1 ever was. DS1 existed on mainly breastmilk until he was nearly two and gave me (and the health visitors and my mum) quite the fright thinking he would somehow waste away, and I got into all kinds of scrapes trying to "fix it", which in hindsight caused more damage than they solved. Of course he didn't waste away and still now just isn't very fond of food in general. He is 10 now and this morning was lamenting that his trousers don't stay up - he's a skinny lanky thing, his friends tease him (good naturedly) about his "stick arms". But so was I. In fact if I ever have struggles with my weight, it's because I'm borderline underweight and need to put it on. Same for my mum and my sister and his dad was never chubby either.

I was comparing their red books the other day and they are both on similar centiles for height - 75th. But DS1 is on the 50th centile for weight which makes him look like a beanpole, and DS2 is on the 91st centile for weight, so he has those scrummy baby arms that look like you could just screw the hands off, a buddha belly and thighs which require a larger size of nappy.

Obesity is a massive problem in this country and eating habits start in childhood. Your HV is just doing her job. Please don’t take it as personal criticism, it’s just very sensible advice.

She’s spot on with advice to ditch the spoon feeding. There’s really no need for it. Weaning is all about trying new tastes and textures and gradually moving your child onto food the rest of the family eat.

Thanks @BertieBotts.

DS is definitely in the scrummy baby category!

Toddlers usually lose their chubbies at around 2 to 3 years old
Unless you're an overweight family (in which case to need to look at everyone's diet) then you carry on feeding your baby with a spoon or however you like.

Chubbiness (not chubbies, autocorrect)

180ml is fine. That's the size of jars marketed at that age anyway (though I'd be a bit sceptical about accepting what the baby food industry try to sell us as "ideal")

The only difference is the jars/pouches will have nowhere near the calorific intake that homemade food will have- unless they've changed hugely from when Ds was small.

The prepared food is okay for occasional use but the whole purpose of weaning is to move a baby onto family foods.

Honestly OP, if you were my DM I would want you to follow professional advice and watch my diet for me.

You really don't need to be spoon feed a 10 month old. DD has had her 10 month check and just has finger food which is often whatever we're eating. I've also dropped her afternoon bottle. She's a good eater and is the 50th percentile for height and weight so in proportion. The only thing I spoon feed is yoghurt.

Hmm, yes, good point - they do all seem to be about 70% carrot or rice. Like the fruit jars are all 80% apple or pear, which was the push to just make my own when I realised.

@Dodahdodah he probably has a pouch a week. That's it. Everything else is prepared family food. I do understand the purpose of weaning and he has always had a massive range of tastes and textures.

@blackcat86 great that your DD is in proportion. DS has always been between 75th and 91st for weight so I dont believe spoon feeding him has caused him to gain weight.