HV has told me my baby is too heavy

[NeverGotMyPuppy]

And I'm feeling really crap about it.

We had his 10 month check. He is weighing between the 75th and 91st centiles for weight but only 25th for height. She said there should be a maximum of 2 centiles difference between the 2.
She told me to stop spoon feeding him completely. This has thrown me because although he has breakfast and lunch as finger foods dinner is almost always spoon.

I just feel a bit low about it because I thought I was doing ok.

@Triathlon989
Well said. There is a huge discrepancy between 25th centile height and 75th centile weight. How is it helpful for everyone to scoff at professional health advice and encourage the op to continue making it worse instead of offering constructive advice?

My mum would spoon food into our mouths, and then did the same to my kids. Whereas I think if they cant be bothered to feed themselves they're not really hungry any more.

My DD is heading towards two centile lines difference between weight and height. I see the charts as a useful guide so it has purely prompted me to give some consideration to portion sizes as my DD's appetite is noticeably greater than that of her peers'.

I rarely feed her junk food and go easy on anything sweet (including fruit) but the sheer amount of food she shovels in at meal times of things like roast dinners, spaghetti bolognaise, chicken curry etc. means that unless I take responsibility for portion sizes I think we may run into trouble at some point.

I had a very 'healthy appetite' as a child and grew up to be an overweight preteen, then teenager and now after 10 years of being a good weight I'm now creeping into overweight territory again. I hope I can help DD not follow the same path.

My DD is a good bit older than yours, and notably over a year old where they need to reduce their milk, but I recently discussed this with my HV. DD has always been a big baby and has a big appetite and I was wondering when a healthy, chunky baby becomes an overweight child. Not worried yet, but didn't want to miss anything down the line iykwim.

The things she said:

• Keep diet varied as possible.
• A portion size is the size of her palm, so for example in a chicken dinner that's about the size of chicken and potato she should be having. (I think her portions of pasta are closer to the size of her head than her palm. )
• The leading cause of childhood obesity in our area is milk, which she put down to a cultural thing. Obviously your DS is under 1 and so still needs plenty, but I'd have thought at 10 months he'd have started to cut down if he's doing well with solids so maybe think about that.
• Babies tend to chunk up at 1 and slim down at 2.

I've no medical training at all, so if someone who did told me to keep an eye on it I would. But don't be too hard on yourself or too drastic. If he's not crawling or walking yet he'll likely slim down a bit once he's on the move. And we all know they plump up and then stretch as well.

But keep an eye on portions, keep an eye on the milk (which, again, under 1 you might not want to change just yet).

That is a significant height/ weight difference.

Are the measurements correct?
What have his centiles been like since birth?
What is the build of the family like? Is it proportionate or affected by factors like a stocky build in the chest and disproportionately short legs which throws towards the upper end of BMI/ centiles.

It's early days and babies can be quite chubby before they get mobile and burn energy as well as finding other things to do. Keep an eye on it. As food consumption goes up, is milk going down? I've known very chubby babies suddenly slim down when they discovered they could walk and one, I remember one mum fishing out the smaller clothes again as everything started falling off his waist.

After about 2, children should start slimming down and losing the baby rolls and getting more lean and ribby. Sadly the children I knew who started school at 4 with a cute chubby toddler look have been the ones who by junior school are increasingly showing surplus body fat.

Don't panic, just be observant and ready to tweak if necessary.

How has his height been measured (well, actually, at his age it will be length). Was he stretched out with a board at either end to get the measurement? Length measurements have a significant error range and it is plausible that a rough attempt at measuring length may be under. In your situation that possibility is relevant to how you interpret his centiles.

Ah this has scared me more now.

She laid him down on a tape with a board against his head for his length.
He has 4 milk feeds a day but doesn't feed for long. I feed him a very varied diet but suppose he does have quite a lot of fattening things e.g. coconut milk in thai green curry, avocado on toast.
The difference has really scared me but I don't want to do anything too drastic.
He still fits into some 6-9 clothes...

It's not a criticism, it's advice. And there is no use in just ignoring that advice, better to consider it and see if any changes can be made.

I don't understand why people are so quick to ignore medical advice about their child when it's related to weight. If a hp said "your child has a lactose intolerance" or "your child has asthma" you wouldn't just ignore it, you'd make changes to help them but if a hp says "your child is overweight" then parents just scoff and say its nonsense

I didn't say I was going to ignore it, and I didnt scoff @LettuceP

He’s breast fed? Then he’s self regulating his milk intake. Let him self regulate his dinner too.

Don’t beat yourself up. The whole point of the checks is to steer people in the right direction not to criticise their parenting.

Sorry, ro answer questions:
They haven't measured his length before today so I have no idea. He was born at 75th for weight, then went up to 91st, then settled on to 75th.
He has lots of chia seeds, nuts, dairy. I will obviously cut down I'm just scared about how to. I also usually spoon feed him whatever DH and I had the night before so I'm going to need a new routine.

Thanks @Breathlessness. Yes he was EBF till 6 months and now BF alongside food. He has been night weaned for about 8 weeks.

I wouldn't panic about it, but it seems good advice to stop spoonfeeding and just think a little about the type and quantities of food offered.

I agree with PP that child obesity is recognised as a big health issue and yet on Mumsnet you get:
Babies can't be overweight
Over feeding to the point they vomit is fine and normal
Growth charts should be ignored
BMI should be ignored
Children identified as overweight in Reception are just sturdy/muscular
Weighing children in Year 6 is fat shaming
Caring about your child's diet is controlling and depriving them and will result in an eating disorder.

Ask your gp. No one here can comment without actually having seen the baby.

No need to change routine at all. With any baby or young child the aim should be to keep their weight the same, not reduce it, so don't increase the amount of food offered so they grow into their weight.

Is he mobile yet, OP?

My DD1 had extra weight and height checks because she was so enormous still is and was a right porker until she started crawling when she suddenly slimmed down quite remarkably. This is normal. If he isn't crawling or walking yet, it's quite likely he'll lose a bit of weight once he does and things will balance out.

Also bear in mind yours and OH's proportions. My brother is built like a cart horse. Always has been, and was "overweight" through childhood. He's only 5'9 now but plays rugby at a very high level. He's about as wide as he is tall. We knew he'd be like this because that's how my dad is built.

In the meantime, give him the spoon at dinner

NevetGotMyPuppy sorry I should have made it clear that I wasn't saying you are. You have posted oh here seeking advice and have had many replies saying to ignore it and that it's rubbish, I find that really frustrating.

He is crawling but not yet walking

@MoltonSilver I didnt ask anyone on here if they thought he was overweight. I asked for advice.

Why not load the spoon for him a couple of times and see how he does feeding himself with the same stuff you’ve been giving him? That way he’s eating exactly what he wants amount wise. Or try adding one broccoli - -tree- - floret and taking away one cheese cube. It’s only tiny changes. Think of it as a few tweaks not a whole new regime.

You have done really well and as you got him to to 6 months ebf I really doubt that you’ve somehow caused all this by spooning one meal a day into him over 8 weeks! Some babies are all naturally lanky and some are chubby. It’s genetics. It’s something to keep an eye on and manage for the future.

@LettuceP oh I see, thanks.

It's just really freaked me out. I just dont feel like im getting any of this parenting stuff right at all. I was supposed to meet my friend now and now I'm thinking I need to get him exercising.

16 weeks. Maths fail.

My son is 91st for weight and 25th for height crazy because my hv will not stop going on about how he doesn’t eat enough because he’s still breastfeeding at 17months!? It’s really driving me insane the guilt of “do I refuse the boob to force feed him or do I refuse the hv”

I don't think it would hurt to do as the HV suggested and in addition offer water frequently, since people do confuse thirst for hunger. See how he gets on.

At 10 months give him the spoon, it will be messy but he will learn to feed himself quickly

You can't really put a 10 month baby on a diet can you?! I'm not a medical professional, but it doesn't sound like you're stuffing him with biscuits and crisps. I don't think a bit of avocado and coconut is going to do harm. If you're worried, ask your GP though.