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Original poster

HV has told me my baby is too heavy

204 replies

NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 12:56

And I'm feeling really crap about it.

We had his 10 month check. He is weighing between the 75th and 91st centiles for weight but only 25th for height. She said there should be a maximum of 2 centiles difference between the 2.
She told me to stop spoon feeding him completely. This has thrown me because although he has breakfast and lunch as finger foods dinner is almost always spoon.

I just feel a bit low about it because I thought I was doing ok.

OP posts:
CallMeOnMyCell · 11/07/2019 21:30

Aww please don’t panic OP! Perhaps you could try giving just half a banana at breakfast and then reduce portion sizes at lunch and dinner time too? Thats what I did with DD and she didn’t even notice. I don’t think my DD is able to self regulate so just eats whatever is on front of her.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 11/07/2019 21:32

You are doing fab. What an amazing and varied diet!

LoafofSellotape · 11/07/2019 21:33

Perhaps you could try giving just half a banana at breakfast and then reduce portion sizes at lunch and dinner time too? Thats what I did with DD and she didn’t even notice. I don’t think my DD is able to self regulate so just eats whatever is on front of her

I think I would try that too. Isn't it food under one just for fun and the main food still milk?

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coffeeaddiction · 11/07/2019 21:35

You might of answered this already but is he on the move yet ? I found my little boy slimmed down a lot once he was crawling and then walking

NoSauce · 11/07/2019 21:35

Even though it’s good fat you’re giving him OP, I would cut it back. More protein, fruit and vegetables to fill him up. Avocado, coconut milk and peanut butter are very high in fat.

Cantsleeppast3am · 11/07/2019 21:36

Haven't rtft but op tell her to fuck off! Well maybe not in them words but you get my drift!
My baby was the opposite barely ate properly till 15 months.
Her weight was ok, but she wouldn't eat more than a mouthful or 2.
I had my mother, hv, gp, even a paediatric consultant tell me she needed more food, she needed lumpy food, she wouldn't develop the muscles needed for speech, etc

I was worried sick, all while my instincts were telling me it was fine!
I'm one and done but if I was to have anymore I'd be shutting the door on these so called professionals.

BertieBotts · 11/07/2019 21:41

The food he eats sounds great. I would maybe just be cautious about spoon feeding, rather than thinking you need to cut it out entirely. If he is having what you and DH have eaten, you can probably give it in a chunkier format and give him loaded spoons for any sloppier/saucier bits. I am doing much more spoon feeding this time with DS2 than I did with DS1 and I have noticed there is a difference. Especially when DH feeds him, he tends to scoop it all in really fast and sort of distract him from what's happening/make it a game rather than what I do which is give him a spoonful and wait for him to swallow it and let me know when he wants more. I think just because I've come from more of a BLW mindset, and he's come from more of a traditional baby feeding mindset if that makes sense? Nothing wrong with it but I have noticed that DS2 seems to eat more using that approach and can be persuaded to finish just this last bit etc whereas with my approach I don't do that, and I think it's helping him learn how to regulate his own appetite over and above the arbitrary measure of eating whatever is on his plate.

If he is anything like most 10mo I've met you probably don't need to "exercise" him as I expect he never sits still. If you're going to such extents to cook him special baby food and so on I'm also going to go out on a wild stereotypical limb and guess that you don't leave him strapped into his pushchair for the entire day or strap him into some kind of chair and park him in front of a TV for hours. Life is exercise for them at this age, they spend loads of energy just exploring and playing and tumbling around.

Also typically around when they start walking (where they burn loads of calories) they also suddenly drop their appetite a lot (which freaks out parents) - this is when your calorie-dense foods will probably pay off as you won't worry too much if he seems to exist on half a raisin.

Breastfeeding is great for him and it doesn't make sense to restrict it, unless you want to stop.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 11/07/2019 21:44

Health visitors are full of sh1t. Lots of babies are fat - better than being too skinny, you want them to have reserves if they get poorly! If he's still 'fat' in a year then it's time to take action but at 10 months I really wouldn't worry!

Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 21:53

@BertieBotts thank you. Yes we try and keep it chunky - so chilli we keep the kidney beans whole and the mince just as it is, it's just large veggies we chop up.
He eats v quickly. We give him a pouch every now and again (like tonight because I was late in) and he can eat the whole thing in less than 5 minutes no bother at all.
I will definitely try to be mindful of not doing the 'one last spoonful'- I think I have got sucked in to the idea of the more he eats the better he sleeps.

The baby recipe book I have says 2-4 tablespoons for his age but if he wants more give it to him. Sometimes I feel he has had enough of the same meal - e.g. he will then quite fancy some yoghurt.

At the moment he really will eat anything I give him.- I tried him with pheasant the other day which he loved, and bbq salmon with roast veg also went down very well!

By exercise- i take him swimming 2-3 times a week and I just try to make sure he's not always in the car seat or the pram - so I went to a coffee shop this afternoon but he crawled around etc.

This parenting lark is hard as fuck.

OP posts:
Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 21:54

Thank you @IWentAwayIStayedAway

OP posts:
LoafofSellotape · 11/07/2019 21:58

If he feeds himself it will slow him down so he won't eat as fast.

CraftyGin · 11/07/2019 21:59

We have an obesity epidemic, so why ignore health visitors? They are aware that children develop at different rates and understand the effects of mobility.

Listen to HVs before the Mumsnet hive.

Myheartbelongsto · 11/07/2019 22:00

I never compared my child to these charts!

Georgepigthedragon · 11/07/2019 22:02

As an HV I would advise you not to worry to much just yet. Cut the milk as he is ready, less high calorie foods and maybe look at portion size. A lot of kids grow taller and stop putting as much weight on when they start walking. Its just more something to be aware of and if at 2 there is a more than a 2 centile difference I would consider be a bit more stringent with milk intake and portion control.

BertieBotts · 11/07/2019 22:03

Relax - you don't need to get an A+ in parenting. Honestly being open to suggestion and combining that with instinct is fine. It's also fine to just wing it sometimes ;)

Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 22:04

@CraftyGin if DS is overweight then obviously that is a problem. But given his height has only been measured once i'm really trying not to just completely freak out about it. Clearly I'm taking on board what she has said, otherwise I'd have just ignored it and carried on with my day.

I am also.nervous because of previous advice I have got from them which has not been good

OP posts:
Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 22:06

@Georgepigthedragon sorry what do you mean cut the milk? All of it?!

OP posts:
Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 22:07

@BertieBotts haha thanks. I guess the problem.is whenever I feel like I wing it - like weaning- it goes wrong! All my friends bought books and we just decided to follow our instincts!

OP posts:
Bearfrills · 11/07/2019 22:10

Please do not take the advice of anyone online who claims to be a health visitor. I could say I'm a train driver or a forensic scientist, how would you know I'm not?

dementedpixie · 11/07/2019 22:11

20oz of milk is recommended up to 1 year. If he is only having 4 short breastfeeds then I don't think I'd be cutting milk that much. Milk is not that fattening. Maybe look at portion size instead

LoafofSellotape · 11/07/2019 22:11

Bearfrills I completely agree!

dementedpixie · 11/07/2019 22:12

I would monitor weight gain first before going mad and cutting everything out and then decide what to do. What weight is he?

LoafofSellotape · 11/07/2019 22:13

Cut his milk?Confused

3luckystars · 11/07/2019 22:15

At one visit I had a similar experience, i came home and weighed the baby myself and she had actually made a massive mistake on the chart. My baby was following the line she had always been on. I went back and got it corrected, but there was no apology for the way she had spoken to me.

Was your baby always up on the higher centiles? Had there been a big jump? Could it be wrong?

DO NOT STOP FEEDING YOUR BABY

Get a second opinion from a paediatrican If you are worried but do not stop feeding your baby.

Original poster
NeverGotMyPuppy · 11/07/2019 22:16

To be clear I have no intention of cutting his milk.

@dementedpixie he is 22lb.

I'm really going to try and measure him again. As I said he is still in 6-9 month vests.

Maybe he's just really really dense!?

OP posts:
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