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Original poster

Are they being CFs or am I dreaming too big ?

108 replies

SailorJerry13 · 08/07/2019 17:20

I lost my parents last year, and it has propelled me to want to start achieving things before it’s too late. (And I lose anyone else)

One of those things was to get married. Iv been with my partner for 7 years, and we were close friends beforehand. We have a DD age 4.
DP proposed just after she was born so we’ve been engaged a few years now, but as I’m a SAHM we don’t have a lot of spare cash.

My partner and I agreed to have a registry office wedding, as I felt a large wedding was out of reach money wise, plus I didn’t want the traditional type wedding as there is no mother or father of the bride and I felt highlighting that would be too emotional.

So registry office wedding going ahead. We decided to have a meal at a restaurant afterwards and I contacted a lovely place near the beach.

I explained it would be a small party of us (20) and a few kids and was asked if it was for a wedding. I said yes, as there’s no point lying. But specified it was still ‘just a meal’ and I didn’t want any special treatment. Just treat it as a large dinner party.

With two weeks before the wedding, Iv been trying to finalise the menu and get confirmation we are going ahead and the manager has emailed me to ask for a £970 deposit.

£750 of this is for hire of the corner of the restaurant - it is an open plan terrace restaurant looking out onto a cove, so we don’t have private hire or anything.

The food cost is estimated to be £1,050. This does NOT include any drinks, alcoholic or otherwise.

When I booked the restaurant it was on the premise that we would have their usual fixed price menu - at £25 per head I thought it was manageable and have been saving what I can for the last few months. We agreed with our guests that they would pay for their own drinks, and everyone was happy with that.

The restaurant manager/owner now wants £1,800 in total....

I don’t have this kind of money. I really hadn’t expected the charges to be so high, but what can I say ?

We’ve no hope in finding another restaurant at such short notice and I just feel so so upset that my wedding was shit to begin with and now it’s even worse! My friends have tried to be supportive but I can tell they all think a registry office wedding is naff already. Now my DP is saying we should tell the restaurant ‘thanks but we can’t afford that, so no thanks) and just get takeaways and sit in our garden with everyone.

Are they ripping me off ? Or is this just the reality of it and I was being silly to think we’d get a nice meal as well as a wedding for our small budget?

:( Thankyou for listening x

OP posts:
Original poster
SailorJerry13 · 08/07/2019 17:22

Just to add - I contacted the restaurant at the start of May, and confirmed the date on the 1st of June. They have been rubbish at getting back to me so that’s why it’s been left so late x

OP posts:
ImaginaryCat · 08/07/2019 17:24

Oh I feel for you, we're having a low key wedding and I booked a similar restaurant area for family lunch after checking costs against friends who've previously used it for parties. They had asked if it was a wedding so I was quite adamant that whilst it's a post registry office party, it's NOT to be priced as a wedding.

Have you at least had a ring around other restaurants to see if you can book something similar?

fedup21 · 08/07/2019 17:24

What did he say when you said the price of £25 had already been agreed on booking?

Did you have that in writing?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weddings
EmrysAtticus · 08/07/2019 17:26

So you were expecting it to be £500-600? Unfortunately the moment you mention the word wedding places ramp up their prices :(

GreenTulips · 08/07/2019 17:26

Have you been back to them and said you don’t want any special treatment it’s just a group for a meal?

What are they offering for the £750 other than a set of tables?

LorelaiRoryEmily · 08/07/2019 17:27

Did he agree they 25pp when you booked it? No way would I pay to hire the corner of the restaurant. I hope you get it sorted OP

hidinginthenightgarden · 08/07/2019 17:27

I would start ringing round and se wit you can get another restaurant. If you can, a cel this one. Yesterday 13 of us had a 3 course meal and drinks for a 90th birthday and paid around £350. That is what I would be expecting here too!

Pipandmum · 08/07/2019 17:29

What you can ask the restaurant is: Do they normally charge for people to reserve certain tables? Never heard of that! And how do they justify the expected cost of a meal being double their set menu price? What are you getting to warrant that? You are the one with the money, they should itemise everything you are being charged for, and they should have a pretty good explanation for the charges.
Have you checked out the restaurant on tripadvisor?

MIdgebabe · 08/07/2019 17:30

Take away in the garden sounds rather nice to me. More informal, easier to chat to everyone.

Bedforaweek · 08/07/2019 17:32

That stinks

OKBobble · 08/07/2019 17:33

Is there any chance you could find a caterer to do something nicer at home rather than takeaways. Maybe an afternoon teat type thing.

You could decorate your garden with bunting etc I am sure it will be lovely whatever you decide.

PrincessSarene · 08/07/2019 17:34

If you’ve not paid the deposit then you’ve got nothing to lose. Rather than just cancelling, I think you should say that as you agreed during the original call/email(?) that it was to be treated as a normal large dinner reservation, you have budgeted at the set menu price and are unable to afford any more. Assuming you have the funds available, you could offer to pay a deposit of £5 per head (this is quite normal for large bookings). Then say that if this not acceptable you will have to cancel the booking.

If you do end up cancelling and can’t find anywhere else, then a takeaway at home can be done really nicely: decorate the garden, chairs etc. so it looks a bit fancy. And I’ve heard that if you speak to the takeaway place and explain what you’re doing, then they may be able to come and set it up special for you e.g. in nice serving dishes etc. I’m sure I’ve read a few posts on here where people have done just that so you could look/ask for tips on how to make it something special that you and your partner will love.

LazyLizzy · 08/07/2019 17:35

No way would I pay it, it would put a downer on my day being ripped off.

Jaxhog · 08/07/2019 17:35

They're trying to rip you off! They heard 'wedding' and saw pound signs. Cancel them.

Look for a small local restaurant or a pub with dining rooms. Most won't charge you extra if you book enough meals. But get a price before you book.

Original poster
SailorJerry13 · 08/07/2019 17:36

@ImaginaryCat congratulations:) ! Hope you have a lovely day.

I have rang around other places I would like but they are all adamant they don’t take bookings as it’s busy season and they prefer walk ins. :/

@fedup21she didn’t agree to £25 pp when I booked, nothing was set in stone as I was unsure how many people and I just mentioned we would probably choose their fixed price menu for ease. So neither of us said ‘we will do £25pp’ but it’s what I was leaning to.

@EmrysAtticus
Yes about that ! I had mentioned giving a deposit to secure the booking and so they could ensure they had supplies etc. I imagined that would be £300 and we would settle the rest on the day!

@hidinginthenightgarden Thankyou :) yeah I will see what else I can find but I’m just so so gutted that the one I had my heart set on looks like it won’t happen :(

We are in Cornwall so ‘nicer’ restaurants are hard to come by around here! There’s plenty of family friendly, cheaper places .....but I just hoped for one special day really :(

OP posts:
stucknoue · 08/07/2019 17:36

Tell them you simply want the fixed price menu and are willing to pay 50% up front, drinks will be bought from the bar, you do not require private hire. They are being very cheeky.

EggysMom · 08/07/2019 17:39

When I booked the table for our 'wedding lunch' (just 6 of us), I told the restaurant that it was for a special occasion and asked if we could be seated away from the crowd, I didn't give any more details than that. It wasn't until the waiting staff spotted my wedding dress that they knew!

Drum2018 · 08/07/2019 17:40

Screw that. I'd find a bloody pub restaurant and have my meal there, rather than pay over inflated prices. As for your registry office wedding being naff - that is not the case at all. Tonnes of couples get married in a registry office now. Its perfectly normal, regardless of what your 'friends' think. Don't stress out over this. You do what you can afford and to hell what anyone else thinks.

Jaxhog · 08/07/2019 17:40

P.S. A takeaway in the garden is absolutely fine. So much less hassle, and you can always pop the food into nice hot bowls/dishes to serve if you want to. Buy lots of decent bubbly and you'll have a ball!

If anyone comments, then they weren't much of a friend.

LizzieMacQueen · 08/07/2019 17:42

Sorry but is that not £90 a head?

No way, you could get flights to Malaga for that (I think, haven't checked).

I second the PP above, home for dinner - either local caterer or multiple take aways. Your friends will understand.

Jaxhog · 08/07/2019 17:42

Or you could have a wedding picnic in the garden.

eighteenandaching · 08/07/2019 17:43

Either call a nice restaurant a couple of weeks before and book a table for 20.

Or do as others suggest and have something at home (although I'd worry this could be a stress for you regardless of how low key it is)

eighteenandaching · 08/07/2019 17:46

Sorry, just RTFT. If a restaurant booking in unfeasible then caterers or take away at home.

Or you could just have an afternoon tea either in a posh hotel or at home. A M&S shop the day before/sandwiches from food to order/champagne and some nice cake plates. Would be lovely.

AwkwardPaws27 · 08/07/2019 17:47

If you want something a little more special than a takeaway, but are happy to do it in your garden, you could have a hog roast / BBQ caterer? Ours was £650 for 80 people.

I do think the restaurant are being cheeky but unfortunately if you didn't confirm the price when booking I'm not sure you can hold them to it...

Original poster
SailorJerry13 · 08/07/2019 17:48

Thankyou everyone. I appreciate it!

@pipandmum nope Iv never heard of it either and I used to work in the restaurant business..! We won’t be getting any extra treatment - just use of the top corner of the restaurant - it is the nicer bit, with the terrace etc - but anyone walking in at the right time would be getting that for free with their meal.

I will email back and ask exactly what am I paying for !

@midgebabe

Our garden is quite lovely, and our friends will make it fun- but now I feel like I’ll be hosting, and fretting about the mess and making sure everyone else is happy and enjoying themselves. At a restaurant I could just sit and eat and enjoy myself !

I won’t reply to everyone individually but yes I agree - they heard wedding and thought let’s get some extra money for it. If this was a usual evening meal we’d pay the usual prices !

Thankyou everyone. X

OP posts: