Are they being CFs or am I dreaming too big ?

[SailorJerry13]

I lost my parents last year, and it has propelled me to want to start achieving things before it’s too late. (And I lose anyone else)

One of those things was to get married. Iv been with my partner for 7 years, and we were close friends beforehand. We have a DD age 4.
DP proposed just after she was born so we’ve been engaged a few years now, but as I’m a SAHM we don’t have a lot of spare cash.

My partner and I agreed to have a registry office wedding, as I felt a large wedding was out of reach money wise, plus I didn’t want the traditional type wedding as there is no mother or father of the bride and I felt highlighting that would be too emotional.

So registry office wedding going ahead. We decided to have a meal at a restaurant afterwards and I contacted a lovely place near the beach.

I explained it would be a small party of us (20) and a few kids and was asked if it was for a wedding. I said yes, as there’s no point lying. But specified it was still ‘just a meal’ and I didn’t want any special treatment. Just treat it as a large dinner party.

With two weeks before the wedding, Iv been trying to finalise the menu and get confirmation we are going ahead and the manager has emailed me to ask for a £970 deposit.

£750 of this is for hire of the corner of the restaurant - it is an open plan terrace restaurant looking out onto a cove, so we don’t have private hire or anything.

The food cost is estimated to be £1,050. This does NOT include any drinks, alcoholic or otherwise.

When I booked the restaurant it was on the premise that we would have their usual fixed price menu - at £25 per head I thought it was manageable and have been saving what I can for the last few months. We agreed with our guests that they would pay for their own drinks, and everyone was happy with that.

The restaurant manager/owner now wants £1,800 in total....

I don’t have this kind of money. I really hadn’t expected the charges to be so high, but what can I say ?

We’ve no hope in finding another restaurant at such short notice and I just feel so so upset that my wedding was shit to begin with and now it’s even worse! My friends have tried to be supportive but I can tell they all think a registry office wedding is naff already. Now my DP is saying we should tell the restaurant ‘thanks but we can’t afford that, so no thanks) and just get takeaways and sit in our garden with everyone.

Are they ripping me off ? Or is this just the reality of it and I was being silly to think we’d get a nice meal as well as a wedding for our small budget?

:( Thankyou for listening x

Yes instead of a wedding gift pot luck supper is great!

samscornwall.co.uk/vans/vans-about/

When I was a young girl we used to skip to a rhyme which started -

'We're having a party, will you come?
Bring your own cup and saucer and a bun.

Fast forward to years later when a friend was getting married and she based her wedding meal on that rhyme.

We all took something to contribute to a garden buffet - bowl of savory rice, salads,pastries, meats, cake , wine etc. And we all bought a china cup, saucer, plate and dish each from a charity shop to use. We delivered it all to the wedding couples house on the day, and then, (bride and groom included) dressed up the garden with bunting, jam jars of flowers, picnic rugs and a motley collection of chairs.

Then, one of our friends who hire out coaches, drove all of us to the registry office and back again.
Another of the guests was in a folk band, and he got his fellow bandmates to come to the house where they played, and we danced on the lawn.

It was simply the loveliest wedding I've ever been to.

Walk away from this money grabbing, soulless place and do your own thing, in your own way. It will be amazing!

Went to a lovely wedding few years ago....

We were all asked to bring a home made cake as dessert to share round. It was fabulous. I got cakepops made as l can't bake and thought that was the safer option for everyone

I’m so sorry they’ve done this. It’s outrageous greed. I wish I knew which restaurant it is. I’m going down to Looe next week. I’d be happy to go in and punch them for you. 😈

Cancel, and book separate tables of 4 or 5 off the £25 menu.

I know it's not relevant to your plans, OP, as your garden can't accommodate a hog roast - but caveat to others, even butchers are doing the wedding cash-in thing. My local butcher, who's watched my daughter grow up for 20 years, runs a hog roast business that was £600 for 200 people - until we said it was for her wedding, when suddenly his 'wedding planner' had to do it and it would be £1500. We went elsewhere and he went down in my estimation.

@Walkacrossthesand

It’s bloody frustrating isn’t it ? It makes you feel like a wallet rather than a valued person. Thing is - if they treated you well and gave you good value, you’d recommend them to others, so it would be good for business. Instead they lose out from anyone with the sense not to have the piss taken !

@PeanutButterCheesecake haha ! That is a most excellent plan..!

@AlexaAmbidextra

It’s not a restaurant in lovely Looe (although some of those are CF too! Never let them know you aren’t ‘local’ 🙄)

It was The Cove, a restaurant near Falmouth.

@FlamingoFlamenco

That sounds like the absolute dream ! How wonderful ✨

Cancel the booking.

Get your partner/a friend to book it for a birthday party for 20 people. Confirm £25/head menu choice.

Have a lovely day

Crosspost with @PeanutButterCheesecake 😂

I know The Cove, and suspected it was there. Have you tried Hooked at Swanpool or The Pandora Inn at Restronguet?

Alternatively Castaways at Mylor Harbour would be a lovely venue (and the food is lovely) or The Sticky Prawn in Flushing. All of these are great locations and good food.

Some restaurants do this definately. We booked a local restaurant, Saturday from 4pm for about 22 people for our small wedding. Happy to just have tables in the restaurant. They charged menu prices, I got everyone's order - starter, main, dessert and gave it to them a week before, most ppl had steak. Then they decided to gave us use of a private room at no cost and gave us access the night before to allow myself and daughters to decorate ,we hired chair covers etc. it looked very grand. We had drinks on arrival, 3 courses, tea and coffee for about 650 pounds. It was amazing, about 6 years ago. The bar reaped the rewards of our guests paying for drinks until closing.

Id love to go to a wedding in a garden with a nice picnic!! you could get some nice decs, lights, candles and bunting for cheap at The Range and make the day totally yours.

Oh and 4 red 4 white of house wine on the tables was included in the 650 pounds!

I'm so annoyed on your behalf!

Our wedding was very similar - Register office with just close family - 11 of altogether. We had lunch afterwards in a Country Club Hotel type place nearby. My Mum organised the meal and specifically didn't mention the 'W' word until after prices etc had been agreed! We were aware that the cost might suddenly go up if they knew it was a wedding.
As it was they were fantastic - we had a lovely private corner overlooking the grounds, heart-shaped bread rolls (!) and free use of their cake stand and knife. We hadn't expected that but it was a lovely gesture.
Don't give this place your business. They are shamelessly greedy.
As for Register Office weddings being naff...what rubbish. We didn't want a big event and wanted to keep costs down, but the day really was perfect. It's all about the two of you at the end of the day.

I'm very sorry about your parents by the way.

@dramaqueen did you!! What gave it away ? Have you been there before ?

Also - I have just sent the email, I tried to be open and honest but polite too, but it’s so hard coming across politely when you are trying to say ‘erm, are you ‘Avin a feckin LARF?!’ Or... ‘OW much!!’

What did you put in the email?

@Allthebears

Oh I’m so glad you had a brilliant day, that sounds wonderful! I love the touch of the heart rolls.

Ahh I don’t think registry office weddings are naff, but fear that ours will feel it. And I just want to feel special and happy for the day - the restaurant was that side of it for me! But now it’s gone up the swanny !

Thankyou, I appreciate that. Annoyingly if my lovely mum or dad were here they’d be telling me what all you lot have done too. And have probably rang the restaurant to tell ‘em to do one too!
I do miss them, very much.

I know the Cove. What a shame, they've been so nice before. I agree with trying to talk them out of extra charges.

If you are okay to travel to Falmouth you could try:

Hooked on the Rocks near Swanpool.
Pandora Inn, Restronguet.
Castaways, Mylor.

Even if they do the decent thing and treat it as a normal celebratory meal with the set menu following your email, I wouldn't give them my money now. I'd be too annoyed to enjoy myself and relax there.

I really hope you find somewhere else that suits you.

Their website says wedding bookings get table decor, seating plans and dedicated servers etc etc.

Just tell them you don't require that or anything at all apart from the meal.

If they say no then I'd go somewhere else, a takeaway in the garden would be lovely or hire a catering van or something. I'd rather have fish and chips on my knee than a 90 a head meal anyway. You'll know you are being ripped off the entire time you are there