Are they being CFs or am I dreaming too big ?

[SailorJerry13]

I lost my parents last year, and it has propelled me to want to start achieving things before it’s too late. (And I lose anyone else)

One of those things was to get married. Iv been with my partner for 7 years, and we were close friends beforehand. We have a DD age 4.
DP proposed just after she was born so we’ve been engaged a few years now, but as I’m a SAHM we don’t have a lot of spare cash.

My partner and I agreed to have a registry office wedding, as I felt a large wedding was out of reach money wise, plus I didn’t want the traditional type wedding as there is no mother or father of the bride and I felt highlighting that would be too emotional.

So registry office wedding going ahead. We decided to have a meal at a restaurant afterwards and I contacted a lovely place near the beach.

I explained it would be a small party of us (20) and a few kids and was asked if it was for a wedding. I said yes, as there’s no point lying. But specified it was still ‘just a meal’ and I didn’t want any special treatment. Just treat it as a large dinner party.

With two weeks before the wedding, Iv been trying to finalise the menu and get confirmation we are going ahead and the manager has emailed me to ask for a £970 deposit.

£750 of this is for hire of the corner of the restaurant - it is an open plan terrace restaurant looking out onto a cove, so we don’t have private hire or anything.

The food cost is estimated to be £1,050. This does NOT include any drinks, alcoholic or otherwise.

When I booked the restaurant it was on the premise that we would have their usual fixed price menu - at £25 per head I thought it was manageable and have been saving what I can for the last few months. We agreed with our guests that they would pay for their own drinks, and everyone was happy with that.

The restaurant manager/owner now wants £1,800 in total....

I don’t have this kind of money. I really hadn’t expected the charges to be so high, but what can I say ?

We’ve no hope in finding another restaurant at such short notice and I just feel so so upset that my wedding was shit to begin with and now it’s even worse! My friends have tried to be supportive but I can tell they all think a registry office wedding is naff already. Now my DP is saying we should tell the restaurant ‘thanks but we can’t afford that, so no thanks) and just get takeaways and sit in our garden with everyone.

Are they ripping me off ? Or is this just the reality of it and I was being silly to think we’d get a nice meal as well as a wedding for our small budget?

:( Thankyou for listening x

Fuck that. Get everyone a McDs!

I bet there will be somewhere local that can fit you in. It's not a bank holiday or anything so most people won't book weeks in advance.

Have you got a nice local pub that does food? They might be able to prep a buffet for you from their menu and leave the serving dishes to be collected the next day. It’s school holidays and they probably have some serving staff who could come down for a couple of hours to serve/clear up for a little extra money.

I know one that had fish and chips delivered followed by a visit from an ice cream van, was fab very chilled.

I really hope that the restaurant sorts it out for you, OP.

But if you need help finding either another restaurant or caterer, the local MN people might be able to help... which area of Cornwall are you in?

I second food vans. Some friends of mine had a venue that didn't do catering so they had several vans - pizza, salad and churros. Bloody delicious and super relaxed. I agree that the last thing you want to be doing on your wedding day is hosting, you want as little "work" as possible!

I agree to approach them with the true facts: that you simply can't afford their grossly inflated prices, want a low-key celebration and are not expecting any extras, was expecting £25ph.

Approach them calmly initially. If that doesnt work then go to the local papers with your story. Papers are desperate for stories and yours would make a good front page for a local rag :

'Local bride to be Sailor disappointed to lose out on dream hotel booking bcs of CFery of owners'

Attendant sad photo of disappointed and sad b2b.

You'd get it free then 💒

What assholes

I hope you get something sorted, as that is Cfery

They are CF's. How sad. I would tell them the situation and be prepared to walk away.

Failing which, food van, or frozen caterer if you get Cook! in Cornwall? Or M&S party food. Hardly what you were looking for, but it's the people that count.

I know you had the dream, but sometimes things have a way of working out better than you hoped when you concentrate on the important stuff.

Why are your friends being so rude? I had a small registry office wedding, we all went to a local attraction and then to a local pub where we had tables for 28 booked. No extra charges for it being a wedding, we had preordered from a selection of their menu though. It was lovely.

God no far nicer to have the reception at home than in a restaurant where you are the mercy of their timings - and lots are very slow with big groups.

The food vans sound great if you can organise them, failing that just a cold buffet. Waitrose have an entertaining bit online where you can order everything all plated up and just set it out .Hire the chairs, tables, glasses and plates from a hire place and just give them back at the end.

I would absolutely love to go to a retro themed wedding reception in someone's garden in Cornwall (in fact can I come please?) bunting in pastel colours, bunches of wild type flowers in jam jars, candles and fairy lights in jars, hanging out with your family and friends and iCornish ice cream to finish. Sign me up! Far preferable to a boring restaurant meal.

Yes ice cream is always good !

Am on mobile so can’t reply to everyone - so will try my best with -

Friends will likely help out, I don’t think I could get a hog roast or similar in the garden as it’s on a (very annoying) slope and difficult to access unless already inside the house!

If anyone knows of caterers near Looe, Cornwall - LET ME KNOW !

@springydaff will practise my compo face once I have sent the email

Thankyou everyone for your lovely messages, you are so right I know. I’m very lucky to have found a lovely man who wants to make me happy beyond monetary value.

And friends who truly wont care, or if they do will gain a lesson in what love is all about !

OP I went to a wedding where me and 1 other person were the only guests. We then had a takeaway at the bride and grooms house and honestly one of the best weddings I've been too. It was all about the right things, the couple making a commitment. We laughed and joked into the early hours and it was brilliant.

I'd tell the restaurant to shove it, cheeky twats.

Oh no op! Theyre cf definitely.

Could you have a garden party, have afternoon tea (so dead easy to make or get a couple of platters from supermarket/caterer). There is a lady near us who delivers them complete with tea sets for about £12 a head which is much cheaper than your restaurant is trying to get away with.

I would go in and speak to the manager and I would be quite forthright with that person. It’s really really not on and a horrible way to treat your local community. I think a trip advisor, Facebook, yelp, trust pilot post is in order.

They are being hugely exploitative. Idiots.

Give them a chance to be reasonable and then cut your losses.

What about a food van on the beach? They drive up and serve food. Couple of mates who will organise cool boxes full of beer and wine and a stack of blankets. Make a fire pit on the beach. Could be really magical.

food trucks

Do you have any local catering colleges? The often do outside catering.

When I got married we had a corner of our favourite restaurant with 5 or 6 tables and they only charged us for our food and drinks. They knew it was a wedding too. We must have been lucky! We did leave a very good tip, but not £750.

I think a takeaway in the garden actually sounds lovely. I would be delighted to be invited to that.

Hope you end up having a fabulous day xx

Hopefully they will have shot themselves in their feet when you go elsewhere and have a much better meal and time.

Most restaurants with a large booking would want orders in advance and a deposit is not unreasonable ask.

Absolutely worth going in and speaking to them directly.

If not entirely their loss!

Honestly, hire a fish and chip van to your nearest beach

I really rate M&S Food to Order service. They do some delicious food, looks very fancy too.

That is nuts! Just last week I booked a section of a hotel dining room for 26 people, it was not problem, they didn't ask for a deposit or anything. It wasn't for a wedding but they didn't ask anyway. I am from a huge family so we regularly make bookings in various places for large numbers. Surely a local hotel or restaurant will have availability and be glad of the business?

We had a lovely time at a pot luck wedding last year, local guests each brought a dish as a wedding present. The food was amazing and plentiful, non-cooks/non-locals brought crisps or put money behind the bar.

You could of course contact another venue and explain how you have been treated by one of their competitors, I’m sure they would love to step in to help!