Are they being CFs or am I dreaming too big ?

[SailorJerry13]

I lost my parents last year, and it has propelled me to want to start achieving things before it’s too late. (And I lose anyone else)

One of those things was to get married. Iv been with my partner for 7 years, and we were close friends beforehand. We have a DD age 4.
DP proposed just after she was born so we’ve been engaged a few years now, but as I’m a SAHM we don’t have a lot of spare cash.

My partner and I agreed to have a registry office wedding, as I felt a large wedding was out of reach money wise, plus I didn’t want the traditional type wedding as there is no mother or father of the bride and I felt highlighting that would be too emotional.

So registry office wedding going ahead. We decided to have a meal at a restaurant afterwards and I contacted a lovely place near the beach.

I explained it would be a small party of us (20) and a few kids and was asked if it was for a wedding. I said yes, as there’s no point lying. But specified it was still ‘just a meal’ and I didn’t want any special treatment. Just treat it as a large dinner party.

With two weeks before the wedding, Iv been trying to finalise the menu and get confirmation we are going ahead and the manager has emailed me to ask for a £970 deposit.

£750 of this is for hire of the corner of the restaurant - it is an open plan terrace restaurant looking out onto a cove, so we don’t have private hire or anything.

The food cost is estimated to be £1,050. This does NOT include any drinks, alcoholic or otherwise.

When I booked the restaurant it was on the premise that we would have their usual fixed price menu - at £25 per head I thought it was manageable and have been saving what I can for the last few months. We agreed with our guests that they would pay for their own drinks, and everyone was happy with that.

The restaurant manager/owner now wants £1,800 in total....

I don’t have this kind of money. I really hadn’t expected the charges to be so high, but what can I say ?

We’ve no hope in finding another restaurant at such short notice and I just feel so so upset that my wedding was shit to begin with and now it’s even worse! My friends have tried to be supportive but I can tell they all think a registry office wedding is naff already. Now my DP is saying we should tell the restaurant ‘thanks but we can’t afford that, so no thanks) and just get takeaways and sit in our garden with everyone.

Are they ripping me off ? Or is this just the reality of it and I was being silly to think we’d get a nice meal as well as a wedding for our small budget?

:( Thankyou for listening x

I went there for my 50th birthday - fab evening but pricey.

@SailorJerry13
Yours definitely won't feel naff ... you'll be so giddy with love and excitement that the day will be special, just because of that. Don't take any notice of what your friends think / say.

We've been married for over 9 years now and I still look back on the day with joy. I've also been to several 'big dos' since then but they've never made me question how we did ours. I wouldn't change a thing.

Your DP is spot on. Tell the restaurant where to go and then either arrange a do in your garden or find a nice pub!

As a retired wedding photographer reg office weddings are far from naff and sometimes can be far more personal and special than big fancy church or hotel weddings.

I wish you a happy day what ever the outcome.

Just noticed x post - great minds are all recommending the same places!

Other places to try - Ferryboat Inn, Helford; Greenbank Hotel.

@CheddarGorgeous I second both those latest options, especially the Ferryboat Inn.

Just came back to check in on you, OP, to discover you - and a couple of others - are practically neighbours!!

I really hope you get what you want. I am guessing you want to be right on the water. Hooked on the beach at Swanpool is perfect for that, and although I haven't been, I have heard good things about the Meudon restaurant.

I hope that the Cove come to their sense, though.

This is such a shame. I hope they come round once they understand. For a large group in a non private area I can understand a minimum spend perhaps but not a "room hire". This should have been highlighted when you confirmed the booking if not raised before.

Let us know how you get on.

If you do decide to do it yourself perhaps a pretty village hall with a pre planned set up/clean up rota for friends plus a couple of lovely food vans. There is a great website if I can find it I will post the link.

Then just see if you can find a couple of students to serve drinks and clear.

Just wanted to tell you that a bunch of my friends went to a wedding and more than twenty of them decided to book a meal (adults and kids) between ceremony and evening do. Princess Pavilions did a lovely job for them, at standard cost. They just had to pre book what they wanted to eat as there were so many of them.