If I'd been in USA, i would be in jail now

[user1471453601]

I was having lunch in a restaurant this afternoon when I got a text from my very dear friend. Her husband is terminally ill and had a psychotic incident in the night.

It's all so very sad. DD, who happened to be at home offered to collect me from the nearest place as I was very upset.

While walking to the spot where she was to pick me up, some fucking prat told me to "smile,darling, you'll look so much better".

I swear if I had a gun in my bag i would have shot him. Firstly, I don't fucking want to look his version of " so much better", secondly, I'll look exactly how I am. If that's distressed ,as I was, what's it got to do with him?

For goodness sske, I'm nearly 70. When, exactly an i allowed to look exactly how I feel.

Sorry, rant over

What a dick

Sympathies - I hate this.
I got told to cheer up and smile buying some mints to suck on to try and stop me from crying at a funeral I was on the way to of someone who had meant a lot to me.

Rant as much as you wish

You’d be in jail anywhere me thinks.

Standard male sense of entitlement, Im afraid. You’re a woman, therefore your only purpose is to smile at him, look decorative, and validate his sense of importance. He doesn’t give a shit that you may have received bad news or be upset or suffering. I wish you’d told him to fuck off, but that might have produced a violent response from the misogynist knob.

Yep, someone said the same thing to me as I was walking out of the town hall having just registered my dad's death.

Fuck them.

(Somebody did once tell me that in Texas it's a legal defence to a charge of murder if you can prove that the person needed killing, but I have never actually researched/googled this myself....)

Very sorry OP

You’d be in jail anywhere me thinks

I think she means in the US she would probably have had a gun in her bag

Sorry OP, what a knob. I used to get told "smile, it might never happen" no thought that maybe it has already happened

Yesterday I saw a lady rush out of the Post Office looking v. distressed. No idea what it was about obviously but I kept my mouth shut because it's none of my business.

I wish people would just keep their stupid comments to themselves, we have no idea what's going on in another person's life.

Babdoc not really 'male entitlement' just daft, I've had the same sort of comment from women. Being a pillock isn't just a male thing.

Exactly what Babdoc said! What a prat!! And and for you OP. I am listening.

The thing is that because of the fear of male violence we can't turn right around and say, "you'd look a lot better if you shut the fuck up" because it's. it like these arseholes respond well to tit-for-tat comments.

I've had the same sort of comment from women.

And for every horse there's a unicorn. I've had "smile love" and variations about a billion times, always male.

While I don’t appreciate being told to smile/cheer up either, I think only the unhinged would commit murder over it.

I find a fuck off dickhead works wonders......

not really 'male entitlement' just daft, I've had the same sort of comment from women. Being a pillock isn't just a male thing.

Really? You think women do this as often as men? I think you need to open your eyes.

Hear hear @MrsTerryPratchett and @Babdoc

I have never had a ‘cheer up love’ comment from a woman - it is always men. And my response is always fuck off. Then they act all wounded. Wankers.

Commiserations OP.

I sympathise.

I have resting bitch face and get this a lot. Especially ‘smile love it might never happen’. When I think about all the times I’ve almost been brought to violence because ‘it’ has actually happened or I’ve been on my way home from work and ‘it’ has happened to people in my presence, I know I probably would’ve done several long term prison sentences by now.

And that’s withhour having the pure rage at the sheer audacity of a creature that thinks they are entitled enough to comment on my face. I do admit, there has been a couple of times I’ve flipped the bird as a response. Not my finest hour....

You’d be in jail anywhere me thinks.
The point the distressed op is trying to make is that in America she would have a gun.

I have never had a ‘cheer up love’ comment from a woman - it is always men. Me too. I can't imagine a woman saying it.

YANBU, OP, and he was a twat.

@BigFatLiar
Really?? I don’t recall any women speaking to me like this. Not Male entitlement my arse.

He was a twat.

We attended a friend's dad's funeral and on the way home she didn't want to go back to her house on her own. We stopped off at a pub for a quiet drink, all dressed in black, and some local "comedian" said look at you lot, you'd think you'd were at a funeral"! LOL. I told we we'd just come from one.

Do you think all Americans carry guns around?

In our county you'd just tell the sheriff it was self-defense and he'd say 'good shooting' or something like that.

You are allowed to shoot people here if you have a good reason to.

being a pillock isn’t a just a Male thing

Can you link to some articles please - as my experience doesn’t bear this out

I also hate this.
I totally see your point.
I would also have told him to fuck off and why - or possibly employed weapons-grade sarcasm at him.

Fucking men have absolutely no right to do this - it doesn't ACTUALLY cheer anyone up, any more than being told to "calm down, dear" works the way it's supposed to (tends to incite nuclear rage rather than anything else, IME!)

And YES it is nearly ALWAYS men who do it. Women who do it are few and far between, IME.