Which book makes you sigh when your child picks it up?

[KindergartenKop]

There are a few books I hate reading, usually the overly long ones. My DS loves a massive octonauts book but it goes on forever! He also loves Babar which is cute but the stories are weird, a bit racist and written in really tricky french handwriting.

Which books do you dread your DC choosing?

Fairy Magic

It’s so badly written that I find it quite difficult to read and it’s long. I keep trying to lose it but DS loves it.

I used to loath any Rainbow Magic books. Are they the same thing? 6 or 7 fairies trying to find something like an emerald or a tennis racket or a cello.

The boy who lost his name

I have 2 ds’s, both of whom have been obsessed with Thomas. They are the most awful books to read in the world, ever. All the engines are sly little fucks and none of them ever get their comeuppance. The worst mistake the Fat Controller ever made was unbricking Henry from that tunnel. The thought of having to read Stanley ever again is the best contraceptive known to man.

Mr Men. I know they’re classics but the stories are just weird and some of them are too bloody long

Second The Boy Who Lost His Name - there are so many words out there that rhyme and they didn’t use any of them. We also have another personalised book that involves the boy spotting a tiger in the Amazon rainforest. If you’re going to try and be educational at least put animals on the correct continent.

Mr Men. Any TV spin off books cheap poubdshop type books. I always get rid of them before long, there is no time for bad stories.

Aren't the rainbow magic ones designed for first readers and not read alouds? There is no way I'd read them aloud, when they are old enough to listen to chapter books but not old enough to read independently there are so many better alternatives.

Is it the one about where the vegimals are from? It’s DD’s favourite at the moment. I’m bored by all the octonought books now. Elmer books are the worst. I can’t stand Elmer, he is so egotistical.

When my dd was really into Disney Princesses we were given lots of terrible books about them. Stories created based on the original story but different. Soooo boring.
I don't mind Mr Men, often pick them up from charity shops.

Thomas Tank - horribly clunky to read and just boring

Barbar - fabulous pics and I like the adventurous aspects but far far too long and verbose.

A lot of Julia Donaldson these days I have to admit I find a bit tedious.

DH bought DD a beautiful book about cultures around the world, it's lovely but we've done it to death.

Basically anything we've done to death! Think we might need new books

Opposite Things. I can do the whole bloody thing from memory.

“What size is it, Little Mouse? The seahorse is small. The opposite of small is....big!”

Stick Man. Sooooo repetitive

Postman Bear. I've memorised the bloody thing.

Thomas the tank. There's so many of them and there all so tedious and dull. Mind you I hated the tv show just as much.
The dinosaur that pooped books. They are revolting. Even ds who loves both dinosaurs and gross humour couldn't stand them.

One called Help which is (very) loosely based on 3 little pigs. It one of those, “let’s chase the wolf out of the book” type books and it’s just painful to read.

All of the original Thomas the Tank Engine books, old fashioned and b o r i n g. And the ones with the Scottish twin engines especially as they are written in a Scottish accent and impossible to read out loud.

Harvey Schlumphenburger's fucking Christmas Present.

DD is 16 now, but when she was younger it was Rainbow Magic. After about 10 of them (and frankly I deserved a medal for getting past 1!) I told her that I was never reading another one. It paid off because she became even more determined to learn to read. 😂

The Mr Men books. Loved reading them as a child myself but hated reading them aloud as a mum.

We’re Going on a Bear Hunt. No idea why this one is so revered, it’s shite!

There's an ouch in my pouch.

I hate it. My kids love it. Probably because I hate it so much

My eldest DD had a book of bing and I hated it more than the show!

Any of the Beast Quest!

The really annoying elephant (I think that’s the title) a David Walliams one. Don’t know why but as soon as I see it it makes me groan.

Postman Pat. Makes me internally weep

Fucking Waybuloo, if you thought the TV show was bad wait til you read the book

Any paw patrol books (of which my 3 year old owns about 5, all similarly shite)

Anything by David walliams- also shite

Some of the mr men are also up there, as are some of Julia Donaldson - she’s been riding the success of the gruffalo for too long.

My oldest (6) has a dinosaur encyclopaedia which he tries to bring out at bedtime - luckily he’s a very good reader so is told to keep that one for day time reading himself