Which book makes you sigh when your child picks it up?

[KindergartenKop]

There are a few books I hate reading, usually the overly long ones. My DS loves a massive octonauts book but it goes on forever! He also loves Babar which is cute but the stories are weird, a bit racist and written in really tricky french handwriting.

Which books do you dread your DC choosing?

I think the 'original' 12 or so Mr Men books are great, but the later ones, not so much.

The Fairy books are all the same. That's when I stopped reading to DD1 (which is a shame in hindsight). Luckily DD2 didn't like them.
We 'lost' a few random books that DH & I couldn't stand.

MIL bought a 1001 things to spot book for DD. I loathe it. Half the time DD can’t be bothered to spot the things and just randomly counts up to the number. She knows I hate it too, now, and gets it out on purpose.

I also hate the Mr Men, Winnie the Pooh and Thomas the Tank Engine books.

I loved You Choose, despite the number of times we had to read it, because for me it was quite a short book. I also like the fairy magic rainbow books, because I don’t have to read those - DD reads them herself and they keep her quiet for ages.

Terrific Trains. Reads like it was written in five minutes. We’ve got rid of it several times but my DM keeps buying it again whenever she finds it in a charity shop. 😫

Wacky Wednesday-Dr Seuss.
It takes so long to read as DC has to find all the wacky things. It wasn't so bad before they could read, but now they know that it's 12 wacky things to find and not 5...

I have 2 ds’s, both of whom have been obsessed with Thomas. They are the most awful books to read in the world, ever. All the engines are sly little fucks and none of them ever get their comeuppance. The worst mistake the Fat Controller ever made was unbricking Henry from that tunnel

Fucking YES! Sister, I hear you!

Charlie and Lola, hideous hideous books
I do remember the big Richard Scary book I had when I was little, one story about daddy bear taking the little bear out hunting for seals to make a fur coat for mummy bear! Mummy bear had obviously stayed at home to make apple pie for their return

Wacky Wednesday

YES!!!

Also, the Spot books. The dialogue is inane ("It's such a nice day, let's go to the park!" "Where are you going?" says the turtle.) The ending is inevitably along the lines of "That was fun, let's go to the park/zoo/playgroup again tomorrow." And nothing much happens in the middle - there is absolutely no plot arc or characterisation. I'm not expecting Line of Duty, just some sort of, you know, plot.

I quite like spotting the stuff in Wacky Wednesday but DS is only 3 so sometimes needs a bit of help!

Barry The Sodding Fish With Fingers. DS has his own copy but still brings it home from school at least every fortnight.

@MNHQ I'm nominating this thread for Classics.

@tappitytaptap I enjoyed it at that age too. DC is now 5 and I may or may not have hidden it...

FUNNY BONES
I can't stand repetition, this book was written to torture me. It's not even funny.I hate it.
on a similar note, 10 in the bed, but my toddler tries to say 'roll over, roll over' in a cute way so it's not so bad.

Seconding Elmer, except the stilts one which is quite good. The rest are rubbish.

I quite like most of the JD books though, particularly Whale and the Snail. I like to imagine myself as doing the Bedtime Story section on CBeebies while reading Gruffalo or Gruffalo’s Child. I do all the different voices and I do them really bloody well. It also makes the time pass slightly more quickly.

The ugly five!

I got sick of The Jolly Postman when it was every night for about a month. I had to take it away on a little break!

Ha, finding a lot of my most dreaded books on being name checked here.
This thread has made me laugh. Another vote for Thomas - we got given a massive heavy hardback of collected stories and I hid it. Awful. Also Elmer. So inane.
Any TV tie-ins are generally terribly written and I avoid having them in the house.
Apple Tree Farm and Spot are bland and Mr Men just weird. Funny how everyone loves them as a child.
Agree Julia Donaldson is overrated. Only one of hers I love is The Paper Dolls. I'm not keen on Axel Scheffler's illustrations.
Outgrown Fox's Socks now but I also hated it and had the exact same thought as a pp, he must have had a wild night to be finding his bow tie in the clock and his vest in the loo or wherever it is
I do like Bear Hunt though, but mainly for the illustrations.
Feel like we need another post on favourite books to even this out; I expect there already is somewhere.

The jolly postman and jolly christmas postman.

Utter shite.

They seem to have vanished from our house though, no idea where they have gone to.

DS has a horridly written Monsters Inc book that just happens to have the words written in the world’s smallest font so it goes on forever I did “lose” it for a while, but he found it again

On the other hand though, I quite enjoy most of the Julia Donaldson stories, and he has a really nice, rhyming bedtime story all about nocturnal animals which is really sweet

Tig and Tog, the story itself is fine but dd wanted that story every night at bedtime for 6 months so it's definitely lost it's charm.

Babar.

Topsy and fucking Tim. Utterly tedious.
For some unknown reason DH mentioned to his family that DS likes them (he isn't that bothered really and there are loads of books he prefers) so now we've ended up with dozens of the bloody stories and I keep 'losing' them under the sofa

Yes what is Oi Frog / Oi Dog about, I don’t find it remotely funny and I don’t think my 3 year old gets it either.

I love We’re Going On A Bear Hunt.

Originally loved Julia Donaldson books and I think they are great stories but they are addictive for young children so after 15 reads a day for weeks ... I lose the will.

Any of the wonderbly 'insert name here' books that my mum keeps buying for ds.

They're quite pretty to look at but they are so clunky and obviously choose option a) b) c) that they are a total pain in the arse to read.

Paw patrol books. So bloody saccharine they make my teeth itch.

Hurry up and slow down, given to us by bookstart.
Eleventy... it's not a word. Seventy would have fitted in the space. But eleventy isnt a word

Yes what is Oi Frog / Oi Dog about

Oh we love those books! I think they’re really funny.