Which book makes you sigh when your child picks it up?

[KindergartenKop]

There are a few books I hate reading, usually the overly long ones. My DS loves a massive octonauts book but it goes on forever! He also loves Babar which is cute but the stories are weird, a bit racist and written in really tricky french handwriting.

Which books do you dread your DC choosing?

I love Winnie the witch. I can cope with her more some other dreadful books. Thomas the tank always made me fall asleep.

Princess bloody Poppy

Spoilt, selfish, vain, rude..... I used to use them as examples of how not to behave, especially toward friends.

Dd has a Julia Donaldson book that I can’t quite make rhyme.... it pisses me right off!!

Usborne Farmyard Tales. ‘This is Poppy. This is Sam. Poppy and Sam live on Appple Tree Farm. This is Mrs Boot the farmer’s wife.... ‘ Once they get into the story proper they don’t improve. And the agony is prolonged by having to find the little yellow duck on each page...

It’s not highway rat either- love that!! It reminds me of the highwayman - obviously

Appletree Farm is more of a hobby farm than a working one, DH and I reckon that Mr Boot does something in the city to finance their lifestyle and only comes home on weekends.
Mrs Boot is clearly knocking Ted off on the side.

Fucking My Little Pony argh!! They're written by an algorithm trained on teen snapchat posts or some shit

Henney Penney. So repetitive and annoying.

A Guinea Pig Pride and Prejudice...🙄😆

Tabby McTat. Still hidden, waiting for a clandestine drop off at the charity shop.

Dr bastard Seuss. He must have been on acid when writing this shite. And i fucking hate the illustrations and the cat in the hat and grinch costumes half the school wear on world book day😡

I used to hate all those That’s Not My Kitten/ Dog / Coat/ flower baby books from Sainsbury’s. Really hope they’re not around any more.

I tried a Thomas book once, utter shite. Used to change the words of the songs to amuse myself
“ we’re 2 we’re 4 we’re 6 we’re 8 , taking drugs and staying up late. Red and green and brown and blue , we’re the really wasted crew.

But I remained totally charmed by Julia Donaldsons offerings to the last( maybe because i only had two kids), I still think Smartest Giant in Town is my favourite children’s book ever.
I made up a great tune for it, and could never cope with DH singing it wrong when he read it.

Ds has a bunch of science books given to us from like the 80s.. he loves them especially water.. he even subjected the childminder to them

@Ohyesiam those books are still around!

The fairytale hairdresser series. Just awful. Yet they have great Amazon reviews. They give me the rage!

We got given 4 original Thomas the Tank Engine books and I was reading them to DS. Got a shock when we came across the N word! So they’ve always been dreadful.

DD got Funny Bones from the library this week. I was all smiley and nostalgic saying to DH I remembered it from when I was younger "In the dark dark night, there was a dark dark street etc"

I literally couldn't see an end to this fucking story. And NOTHING HAPPENS. They go to a park, nobody's there, they have to reassemble the skeleton dog and then they fuck off back home again.

Jesus Christ.

I used to skip lots of Funny Bones

Dd1 was obsessed with Peppa Pig Goes to the Funfair. God, I hated that book! I used to hide it down the back if the sofa when I couldn't face reading it again.

I used to sign at You Choose, it is a brilliant book, but takes an age to read as the dc have to choose every possible combination of stuff.

Oh the places you’ll go. It’s long, a bit creepy and feels hard work to read. I was amazed it’s amazon rating is super high. I’ve put that to the back of the shelf. I don’t particular enjoy Beatrix potter either.

We are still liking You Choose. But I think my little one is starting to get bored as she just now says ‘everything’ on some of the pages which isn’t really in the spirit.

I see I'm also not alone with loathing Mr Men. We have the entire box set and same for Little Miss. DD refused to read anything else for 5 months. I wanted to get my mum to write a note excusing me from bedtime every day. The inevitability is like Chinese water torture.

We read Little Miss Princess the other day and DD commented "that sounds like you Mummy" after every page

@RiddleyW if only DH had been that savvy this evening.

Ha ha. I knew You Choose would be in the Top Ten.

I skip the same parts so consistently that when Granny was reading Funny Bones to DS he kept saying “what you saying?!” because there were parts he’d never heard. I felt quite guilty!

The Lion Inside. I have never read such shite in all my life. Who publishes this?