Which book makes you sigh when your child picks it up?

[KindergartenKop]

There are a few books I hate reading, usually the overly long ones. My DS loves a massive octonauts book but it goes on forever! He also loves Babar which is cute but the stories are weird, a bit racist and written in really tricky french handwriting.

Which books do you dread your DC choosing?

Any ‘books’ merchandised off the back of kids’ tv programmes tend to be utter dross. I wouldn’t buy them but sometimes got them as gifts...they soon found their way to the charity shop. Such bollocks.

@Buddyelf the slightly annoying elephant 😉

Also shite.

Nearly as bad as the very first hippo on the moon

I really hate DD's current favourite, which is Tiddler. I would quite like it, except I read it aloud (one time!) with my then-husband, to my niece. This event stuck in my dad's memory for some reason, and one of his more ridiculous reasons for objecting to me divorcing ex-husband was 'you read Tiddler so nicely together!' So it has bad associations for me!

Genuinely bad ones ... DD has a revolting one called something like 'Three Little Kittens'. It comes with finger puppets of kittens stuck into the back, which she adores. It's so, so, so enormously twee and sugary, but SIL bought it and thinks it is lovely, so we can't throw it away. Yet.

Also hate the Large Family one where Mrs Large makes birthday dinner for Mr Large, and he doesn't want it. It's like someone tried to find the most sexist way to tell a story possible (complete with comments about 'girls'' books and 'boys'' books). And it is dull dull dull.

I hate to admit this but cat in the bloody hat. It’s long (for their age), they don’t really listen, it has tongue twisters. It always makes me want to sigh

Julia Donaldson (I’ve actually hidden most of the books )
We’re going on a bear hunt
Mr Men
Oi Frog/Dog

Thomas the twathead Wank engine and his fucking shite head friends. Who are the most conniving, whining dull bastards in the world. 3 year obsession. The books still make me shudder 8 years on.

You Choose. Thank god they are past that now and just refuse to get off the XBox instead.

Which bed would you choose?

You can't have that one I'm having that one it's not fair I want that one and you can't have it and I want two beds can I choose two beds noooooo you can't have two beds all the beds are lovely mummy which bed would you want

40 billion pages of crap to choose. Hats, houses, costumes, shoes. FML.

Oh and "You Choose" that took about 5 hours to get through with all three of them.

You Choose. God, I love/hate it. Mostly hate it.

Mr. Men I refuse to read and cannot understand for the life of me how they became so popular.

My child loves some "First Experience" books I got from The Work. e.g. 'Ben gets a puppy'. Obsessed with them. They seem to have been written in the 1950s and make me want to scream.

Goodnight Bear.

Itsthe story of Big Bear who’s putting Little Bear to bed, but it says Big Bear and Little Bear about 40 million times and it drives me up the wall. DS of course loves it.
Cunting bears.

LOL. 3 consecutive hits on You Choose.

I love the idea of 'You Choose' - the language development and the consideration of other opinions. But christ does it make me want to die when it's the 5th consecutive night.

Mr Men. Sexist and so badly written! How on earth did they become so popular?!

I fucking hate the very first hippo on the moon.
I’ve hidden it. Bastard shit book

And I can’t stand The wind in the willows either.

By the second kid, ANYTHING on the Oxford Reading Tree.

Just fuck off, Flippy.

Anything that appeared to have been written by computer - those fucking Fairy Bollocks ones which must have some sort of algorithm resembling

INSERT TITLE: Fairy [insert /color] [insert /gemstone] [insert /stereotypically feminine pursuit]

Anything that obviously came from a Book Club or had a Free Gift as the main point of the purchase.

I swear that those sodding GENERIC BOOKS FOR FEMININE FUTURE LADY GIRLS are partly responsible for the increase in strictly gendered toys, clothes and appearance - they all seem to be covered with luminous pink or purple, the occasional rainbow and none of the fairies/girls/ponies/unicorns ever seem to have anything but long, feminine hair.

Parrots is that by the person who did 'can't you sleep, little bear?' if so, wonderful illustrations.

Charlie and Lola. She said, so I said, she said. Repeat. Have dispatched them one by one.

DS1 is reading Mein Kampf. I've mixed feelings about that!

My first involuntary thought on reading the title of this thread was 'o God all of them' but on reading further I realise we are in the same camp as goldpendant and just need some new books! We have sooo many good ones but every single one of them must've been read about 20 times now... 🙄 We are also in the tricky situation whereby DD6 is ready for chapter books but DS4 is absolutely not; if anyone has any suggestions for this I'd appreciate it!

Any that are terribly written I usually sneak to charity shops so we're only left with ones I'm happy to read....

Agree with Mr Men...and does anyone else find the sentence construction in them really odd? So hard to read aloud!

Wilbie's Gift. A load of sexist crap with a whiny protagonist. I keep meaning to burn it and forgetting.

Fox’s socks.

Poor old fox has lost his socks. And clearly his bloody marbles. Why would he put clothes in clicks and under bath mats? Unless the psychopath mouse he lives with is playing some kind of dick game.

To be honest any book that I have to read over & over & over makes me want to shoot myself.

@flomp my DH reckons Fox has a large night out and that's why his clothes and indeed socks are in random places

Completely agree with Mr Men, bloody awful which devastated me as I had such fond memories from my childhood. Also any Dr Seuss books, I can't stand them - they are now referred to as 'Daddy' books and only he can read them

DS is 4 now and thankfully has been happy with reading chapter books - currently reading the faraway tree series which we're both enjoying