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Original poster

30 next year - severely depressed about it

119 replies

PurpleLady11x · 27/06/2019 19:37

So I'm 30 next year, and I'm really depressed about being old and haggard lol.

I've been thoroughly down about this for the last few months, so my partner has persuaded me to book in a counselling session.

I'll no longer in my 20s and it's terrifying me so much that it has started to effect my day to day.

Did anyone else feel like this?
Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:
QuitMoaning · 27/06/2019 19:39

I just turned 50.
I am not old and haggard and I find that insinuation a little horrible.

Instead of wanting to support you, I just want to defend myself.

Jarjarblinks · 27/06/2019 19:40

Hmm, I think your partner is right about the counselling as this is not normal. Is there a reason for these feelings? Would you like to have been more successful by the time you are 30? Married? Kids?

cardibach · 27/06/2019 19:40

Completely ridiculous. I was tempted to just post ‘Oh FFS’ but held back!
30 is young, for one. Old Does not equal bad, for another. Haggard? I have to FFS that one, I’m afraid.

BillywilliamV · 27/06/2019 19:41

Of course you’re being ridiculous. What do you expect to happen? Some sort of transformation scene with your skin wrinkling up and your hair going grey. Concentrate on living your best life and forget the numbers. Try counselling if you want to spend the money but really just give your head a wobble!

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 27/06/2019 19:43

I'll be 57 this year and am still alive.
Becoming hagard is not an obligation and old is not bad if you think of the alternative.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/06/2019 19:43

I'm nearly 60. I don't believe I'm old and haggard. Hmm I hope the counselling helps to give you a more realistic outlook on life and ageing. It might help if you think what the alternative to getting older is.

Original poster
PurpleLady11x · 27/06/2019 19:44

I'm very happy about my workplace, and on track to be promoted to manager within the year, so I don't think that's it.

I'm not really sure where this has come from! I'm hoping that my counselor will have answers :/

OP posts:
viccat · 27/06/2019 19:44

It is literally just a number but sounds like this is about something else, not the turning 30 in itself? So maybe the counselling will help look at whatever is behind your worry - although one session is unlikely to be a quick fix, counselling is a process.

gamerchick · 27/06/2019 19:46

Eh I'm 44 and certainly not old and haggard. It's not a forgone conclusion yanno. Keep fit, drink lots of water/moisturise and look after your body.

I'd be concentrating on that than booking counselling.

30, I'd love to be 30 again. It was mint Grin

Original poster
PurpleLady11x · 27/06/2019 19:46

Also - apologies to those feeling defensive., It's weird, I don't view other people 30+ as 'old and haggard', just myself.

OP posts:
Outsomnia · 27/06/2019 19:52

Well if you get the soon to be 30 years old trauma sorted, how will you will feel going forward? Key question really, as you are not going to get back to your 20s are you?

Could I ask why you appear to be so traumatised with a number regarding your age? Do you feel life is passing you by, are you trying to have a child/more children, is your partner supportive and loving, do you enjoy your work.

Sorry if I sound like your mother, but there must be something making you feel like this at such a young age.

Best wishes anyway.

CustardCreamLover · 27/06/2019 19:52

@PurpleLady11x I turned 30 last year and felt exactly the same to the point where I didn't even want to celebrate! My reasoning was though that I didn't have children and I always wanted 2 before I was 30. I have a 5 month old now and I really don't care that it's taken me longer than expected! Maybe you have some underlying hopes that you haven't achieved yet?

Al203 · 27/06/2019 19:52

Stop being a whingy victim and start living.

We are all cosmic dust in 5.2 billion years.

MyWifeNKidz · 27/06/2019 19:54

Definitely have the counselling.

Only 16 yr olds think 30 is ‘old’. To anyone else 30 is the absolute prime of your young life. You need help to see this.

Newmumma83 · 27/06/2019 19:55

I felt a little upset when I turned 29 as I was the wrong side of 20 but got over it by 30,

People are living longer so 30 is the new 20’s if you think about it ...

What would you change about your life /hobbies/ free time to feel less haggard and more energised? X

Silversky70 · 27/06/2019 19:55

The alternative to turning 30 is death. Many do not make it. Growing old is a privilege. Time to work on personality rather than looks?

escapade1234 · 27/06/2019 19:57

It’s really not possible to be old and haggard at 30. It’s just not. So calm down and save it for when you’re turning 40. That’s the big one. That’s when EVERYONE has a little wobble.

Not 30 though. 30 is nothing.

cavalier · 27/06/2019 19:58

Enjoy your life and embrace it. 30 is a fab age . I’m 56 this year and I’m grateful to be here every year .. it’s better than the alternative
Is there something else that could be depressing you ?

MummatoaMunchkin · 27/06/2019 20:02

I literally turned 30 on Monday, not haggard or old looking even though i have a 2 year old!

And i got a tattoo 😁

Im excited about the next 10 years as the last 10 years so much has changed.

Hopefully the counsellor will be able to help you see its not so bad!

cardibach · 27/06/2019 20:04

I don't view other people 30+ as 'old and haggard', just myself
Nope, sorry, this doesn’t work. Either it is or it isn’t . You do view everyone else as past it. You need to get some perspective and stop judging everyone in their age and looks.

cardibach · 27/06/2019 20:05

40. That’s the big one. That’s when EVERYONE has a little wobble
Nope, escapade. I’m 54 and yet to have a ‘little wobble’ based on age. Don’t get it.

ICanWearMyBoobsUpOrDown · 27/06/2019 20:06

I'm 40 soon and not old and haggard at all I recommend getting fat so it irons out any wrinkles

Getting older is a privilege denied to too many and we are arrogant enough to see it as a negative thing. Embrace it.

Bezalelle · 27/06/2019 20:06

Oh gosh but your 30s will be so much better. Your 20s are for being a dick and finding your feet.

tiredandgrumpy · 27/06/2019 20:08

I didn't celebrate my 30th as I hated the idea of leaving my 20s. I felt incredibly old. Then when I was coming up to 40 I realised how ridiculous I had been 10 years earlier & wish I'd enjoyed it. As I approach 50 with some trepidation I remind myself of those days nearly 20 years ago and tell myself to appreciate what I have. Believe me, 30 is nothing!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/06/2019 20:08

A friend of mine was like this, burst into tears when anyone mentioned it, didn’t celebrate and was utterly miserable. Looking back everyone of my friends except her did something “big” to celebrate the 3-0....tbh I think it’s sad she wasted the opportunity and doesn’t have the memories the rest of us have. Don’t waste your energy being sad!