30 next year - severely depressed about it

[PurpleLady11x]

So I'm 30 next year, and I'm really depressed about being old and haggard lol.

I've been thoroughly down about this for the last few months, so my partner has persuaded me to book in a counselling session.

I'll no longer in my 20s and it's terrifying me so much that it has started to effect my day to day.

Did anyone else feel like this?
Am I being ridiculous?

@gamerchick 😁😁😁

I turn 40 next week. Was feeling a bit down about it but a colleague lost a family member recently, who was also 40, and all things considered I'm mainly glad to just be alive! I'm seeing it as an opportunity to do something I've always wanted to do - in my case, learning to play the piano. Life is short, make the most of it.

It could be worse - I’m 60 later this year, so comparatively you’re a spring chicken.
Stating the obvious - but you’ll never be younger than you are right now. Forget the number and live your life.

I turned thirty 6 months ago, and I had a bit of an existential crisis beforehand, wondered where my life was going, if my marriage was actually as good as it should be, had I wasted my twenties, what had I really achieved...and then my birthday came and went...and I realised I was being silly! I feel so much more confident in myself than I did ten years ago, I now have wobbly bits yet I’ve never felt so good in my own skin. And so many people assured me that your thirties are some of the best years! I was a nervous little shell in my twenties...now I am a confident happy woman!

You will be fine, OP. Write a list of things you’ve done in the last ten years, happy memories etc. And then think of what you’ll do in the next decade. Give yourself an objective. This decade for me is about getting a career together. I’ve realised it’s never too late to do what you want to do.

You're being ridiculous

My post earlier was meant to say CAN honestly say I'm happier at 40 than 30 not can't!

The reality is that you are a fresh-faced young whippersnapper.

But if you are finding this hard to believe, you probably aren't spending enough time with people who make you feel like a million bucks. Rectify this.

Also make friends with your body. It has carried you this far. Take care of it. Eat well, sleep well and dance in the kitchen.

Try all of the above and see if it doesn't bring a youthful spring to your step and a glint to your eye.

If all else fails, banish mirrors from your home and live in blissful ignorance of your decaying form.

It works for me!

Yeah you're being ridiculous. I'm 40 and have entered the wonderful world of give no fucks

Love this! I’m halfway through my 40s & it’s my best decade so far.

Use sunscreen every day.

Please see Daisy Haggard, an amazing actress. She's....

Bloody cheek!

I’m in my fifties and have taken good care of my face and figure so am certainly not old and haggard looking!

If you think you’ll look crap at 30 it’s because you haven’t looked after yourself.

Get a grip for goodness sake! I will not tell you by how many decades I am older than you; but what I will offer is a voice of experience, which is not to waste one single moment of your precious youth - yes, youth - thinking such ridiculous things, when you are young and fit. When the arthritis comes knocking on the door you will wish you had appreciated what you have now. 30 indeed!!!

I'm over twice your age - I'm 60 and no I'm NOT old and haggard ! Get a grip - where did you get the idea that you'd be old just because you're not in your 20's any more ?

Maybe it's time you started being grateful for still being alive - many don't get that privilege. Appreciate every day instead of stressing about something as petty as how you look.

Did you have a severe loss in your twenties? Just wondered if you did that might make it difficult for you 'moving away ' from it

So if 30-year-old you is going to be old and haggard, what on earth is 80-year-old you going to be???

What exactly do you mean by old? And haggard? What is it that you won't be able to do any more? Will you have to give up driving because you're too old and infirm? Will you have to retire from work? Will you need a cataract op? Knee replacement? Is your hair now completely grey? How was the menopause for you?

If these questions sound slightly ridiculous, maybe your thinking about what it means to be 30 is a little off-kilter.

Best wishes,
A late-40s Mumsnetter who is neither old nor haggard.

30s are great. I'm mid 30s now.
I had a sulk at turning 25, but 30 I was fine with.

I'm old enough to be a responsible adult and be respected.
But I still go out until 4am clubbing a couple of times a year. I earn enough to do what I want (within reason).
And I dont stand for other people's shit anymore.

YES - I was so upset about turning 30 that I had a BIG party when I was...29. BUT I am 61 now and none of the other...0's have bothered me one iota! I have a lovely man in my life and things are good. When I was coming up to 30 things were not too good in my life and my husband was about to leave me and my young family. Is there something bothering you???

Ooooo you've stepped on some old and haggard toes there OP 😂 calm down ladies.

I felt a bit shitty about turning 30, it feels a lot older than your 20s but I didn't get depressed about it or dwell on it for too long. If you're really struggling I'd see someone to talk about it.

As you can see from the responses here people clearly do worry about getting older or they wouldn't be so bloody sensitive to a jokey comment 🙄

61 here, I feel really good about how I look, but I don't look young any more. You will adjust to not being very young any more and then you will be fine.

The more you fret the more haggard you will look!
I admit I did have a few wobbles turning 60. All my friends retired and are now leading the life of Riley but my plans unfortunately are on hold as I need the state pension to survive so am re-planning for 3 years time when I'm 66. DC are still a worry as all have come back home to live, so in a way it's like my 40s all over again!

I felt v depressed in the run up to my fortieth. I'm 50 next year and I feel vibrant, happy, more confident and optimistic than I did a decade ago so it's going to be easier turning 50.

Part of the reason I hated turning 40 was because I wasn't where I felt I should be. It wasn't being 40 per se, it was feeling behind schedule

Do you feel behind schedule ?? Let go of other people's expectations of you.

You have potentially over 20 more years faffing about with birth control and getting the horrors at a missed period after sex with So So Guy and even more years of regularly being harassed by dopey moony eyed men.

30's a baby, trust me, you're fine. Ya know, asides from 2+ decades more of the above. 🤣

And ditto to the "feeling behind schedule".

There are oodles of happy, vibrant women in their 40s, 70s and 90s.