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Original poster

30 next year - severely depressed about it

119 replies

PurpleLady11x · 27/06/2019 19:37

So I'm 30 next year, and I'm really depressed about being old and haggard lol.

I've been thoroughly down about this for the last few months, so my partner has persuaded me to book in a counselling session.

I'll no longer in my 20s and it's terrifying me so much that it has started to effect my day to day.

Did anyone else feel like this?
Am I being ridiculous?

OP posts:

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 27/06/2019 20:08

I did'nt have a wobble at 40 either. I was wobbling - yes - because I was pregnant.

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 27/06/2019 20:09

Nah i went to Vegas for my 40th - had the best time! Couldn't care less i was turning 40. Good excuse for a good time.

You're being ridiculous OP - all this time spent dwelling on your age while life passes you by? Bonkers. We only get one go at this, make the most of it.

BullBullBull · 27/06/2019 20:09

I’m in my 40’s and I hate it. Thankfully, I look in my early thirties

Titsywoo · 27/06/2019 20:09

Well I never worry about getting old and haggard but I did have life crises before each "big birthday". I cant honestly say though I'm much happier at 40 than I was at 30. Lots of parts about growing older are great - don't look at it in such a negative light!

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 27/06/2019 20:10

It's a very self indulgent position to put yourself in. Not to mention melodramatic and attention-seeking.

Yes, you are being utterly ridiculous and you know it.

TomKittensMumisaFruitloop · 27/06/2019 20:13

Definitely get counselling. I don’t think the issue is turning 30 but fear of ageing or aspects of it and unless you’re dead it’s something you need to be able to come to terms with. I don’t think anyone enjoys the prospect of getting older/old but it’s so sad to live in fear and misery at the thought of each passing year. So any help you can get, I would take. I was just talking with my bf this afternoon and was saying I’m nearly 60. We both thought that was kind of a landmark in terms of ageing for some reason but truly I’m not haggard and am happier now then I’ve ever been.

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 27/06/2019 20:14

God, when you think of all the people who have died young! Are you people really saying they'd prefer to be dead than 30, 40, 50?? Come the fuck on!

A friend of mine nearly died last week aged 56. I can't tell you the sheer utter relief and thankfulness he feels to have been saved by the NHS - not to mention all his many friends and family.

cardibach · 27/06/2019 20:16

I’m in my 40’s and I hate it
What about it do you hate, Bull? And why does looking younger (whatever that means) help? Not being arsed, I just don’t get it. We only get so many trips round the sun, why waste them in hating it?

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 27/06/2019 20:16

Yeah you're being ridiculous. I'm 40 and have entered the wonderful world of give no fucks. I aspire to be like Mary Beard when older 😁

cardibach · 27/06/2019 20:17

Should say not being arsey

MakeAWhish · 27/06/2019 20:18

I'm 40 in a few weeks! I'd take 40 over 30 any day. I don't think I'm either old, nor haggard. You may need to get a grip.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 27/06/2019 20:18

I had a real wobble about 30 as well. I can’t really articulate what it was, but I really struggled with it. I was married with dc as well, so it wasn’t even that. Although I admit I wasn’t happy. I ended up having counselling a few years later (for other reasons) and I can’t recommend it enough, it helped me hugely, so I can only wish you luck with it.

WhatsInAName19 · 27/06/2019 20:21

I don't view other people 30+ as 'old and haggard', just myself
Nope, sorry, this doesn’t work. Either it is or it isn’t . You do view everyone else as past it. You need to get some perspective and stop judging everyone in their age and looks.

It does "work" for some of us. It may not be logical but not everything is. This is exactly EXACTLY how I felt about turning 30. If someone turning, say, 35 had said the same thing to me I'd have told them they were crazy, 35 is young etc. And I'd have genuinely meant it. But I felt that turning 30 for ME - nobody else - was going to make me old and past it. I have come to the conclusion that it was actually a combination of not being happy in my skin after having kids and feeling like my body had changed beyond all recognition (i.e. partly attributing this to age when in reality it was 100% post baby and lifestyle stuff) and also feeling that life was passing me by, not being happy career-wise, SAHM guilt etc. It just coincided with turning 30 and I attached all of that to this milestone birthday.

It's a very self indulgent position to put yourself in. Not to mention melodramatic and attention-seeking.

What a helpful and friendly comment 🙄 There's every chance OP hasn't even mentioned this to anyone in real life - I didn't (except to my husband) - so you're leaping to a very unkind conclusion there.

SunnySomer · 27/06/2019 20:22

I felt very similar when I turned 30. I think still being in your 20s gives you mental justification for not having achieved things and suddenly I was about to be in my 30s. So I bought a house, learned Italian, moved abroad for six months, started being proactive about finding a life partner, started volunteering...
It felt terrifying and turned out to be liberating. This year I’ll be 50 and care ever less about all the rubbish I used to worry about

TheSmallAssassin · 27/06/2019 20:22

I think you really come into your own as a woman in your 30s, I felt so much more confident as I proved myself to be capable, understood myself a bit more and cared less about other people's judgement. It might not be as bad as you think!

gamerchick · 27/06/2019 20:22

Yeah you're being ridiculous. I'm 40 and have entered the wonderful world of give no fucks

Ah that part was pure bliss must admit.

CurlsandCurves · 27/06/2019 20:28

I hated turning 30 too. But that was probably because I felt a bit lost, being on maternity leave, new baby, whole new way of life to navigate.

But 40, omg 40 was just wonderful! This is me, here I am, look out world because I am here for it all!

lljkk · 27/06/2019 20:29

What is so wonderful about being young?

Costacoffeeplease · 27/06/2019 20:32

Of course it’s ridiculous

I’m 53, still feel about 30, not old and haggard yet

SushiForAmateurs · 27/06/2019 20:33

Wow, way to offend almost everyone on here, OP! 😂

Maybe the counsellor might be able to help with a smidge of self-awareness.

fussychica · 27/06/2019 20:33

Blimey I'm in my 60s and still feel great most of the time. Obviously, looking in the mirror isn't the joy it once was but like a lot of others I'm glad to be here and want to be hanging around for a long time yet!

What a shame you feel like this and at such a young age. It is totally irrational but you can't help how you feel. Are you sure this is the only thing in your life which is malking you so unhappy?

I hope that this thread makes you see its not all doom and gloom past 30 but if not I think you will need to consider other measures such as counselling as this isn't a 'normal' way to react to the ageing process.

ReginaPhalangee · 27/06/2019 20:35

OP, my best life began this year. At 44. Age is nothing. I had years and years of unhappiness and once I got divorced, I felt younger and happier than I have in years.

GroggyLegs · 27/06/2019 20:39

I hated turning 30, but I had a wonderful 40th birthday.

At 30 I was dissatisfied with pretty much everything. But loads of amazing things happened in my 30s.

By 40 I had a lovely DH and 2 gorgeous children who have made me very happy. I set myself a fitness related challenge which I completed & I felt wonderful. I'm much more body positive and happy in my own skin.

It's only my view, but it's not being 30 thats the problem, there's something not right or missing in your life. What might it be OP?

Shockers · 27/06/2019 20:40

Exercise more and drink water. You’ll feel chipper in no time!

I walked four miles home, barefoot, swigging from a magnum of champagne on my 30th.

That was many years ago now. Now I try to exercise and drink water.

LittleMissEngineer · 27/06/2019 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

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