How often do your young teen DC have to keep in contact when out?

[MeltedCrayons]

DS is out and I am fine with that. Just hanging around the town with his mates. His mates are nice lads.

How often do you text / expect them to text when out - is there a certain time frame you expect to be in contact at? Esp. if under, say, 15? Or do you not expect them to contact you at all unless they want a lift home?

Ds is 12. I don’t expect him to contact me at all unless he needs to for whatever reason. He knows to let me know if he’s going somewhere other than originally planned though. However I can see where his is by the tracking thing on his phone anyway.

Before going out I’d ask what they are doing and what time should I expect him/her home. Then I’d expect no contact unless they were not going to be back when stated - and that’s what I get. Always pushing for that extra half hour!

I'm the same I only expect a message if dd is not going to be back at the arranged time. If she goes on a sleepover I like a message to say she got there and I normally send her a photo of the dog at bedtime

Can you track a phone if 4G is disabled? I don't track but I expect a text on arrival at the place they are going ( not when they get lifts but they are usually on foot or bike) and a call if they are going somewhere else to ask if it's OK.

Dd is 14. If she goes to the city with mates. She tells me when she's on her way home sbout 4:30 otherwise no contact.

There needs to be mobile data signal or WiFi to track the phone.

Thanks that's what I thought.

Casting my mind back a few years. But during the day no contact unless they were wanting to stay out later than agreed time. The only expection when they going somewhere on far away on public transport and l liked to know when they arrived.

DS(13) is just starting to venture out with his friends. DH, DS and I all have android phones. Which tracking app would you lovely people suggest so we all know where we are? (Apologies for the hijack OP!)

It's the law of teens that they're looking at their phone all the time except if you text them
I leave them to it. With an agreed time to get back.

I look after kids in a care home, they're expected to answer to us every 2 hours by phone - safe and well calls. However, they're particularly vulnerable. Surprisingly they do usually keep in touch but if we can't contact them we'd go out in the car to search after 4 hours

My rule is that I always wanted to know what town they were in, and where they were going to spend the night. We live rurally, and there are 5 towns where their friends lived and they could be in any of them- I had to always know which one.

The rule, once they were about 15, was that they mustn’t do anything that made me look like a bad mother if they went missing and I had to go on one of those press conferences.......

mine tend to tell me when they have moved location.

So on the bus, at friend's house, on bus home. But they were chatty early teens.

@SandyGussetButton we use google family link.

Don’t track your children. Just don’t._

Mine are on the Life 360 app - my DS is 15 YR 11 but not 16 until mid August. He is going out a lot now since GCSE's have finished and sometimes there is alcohol involved with his peers so I feel better that I can see where he is if needed. He does keep in contact and has a curfew that he keeps. Its more for my piece of mind.

“Its more for my piece of mind.”

Yep. That is a very bad reason for tracking someone.

Maybe - however when his best friend got pissed off his face, fell off a wall and had to have an ambulance called then I feel its better to be safe than sorry.

How did tracking help in that scenario?

I don't expect a text at all.

Why are you tracking them?

I disagree with the tracking. If they are old enough to go out and be trusted, then trust them. Ours only checked in if home time had changed due to missed bus or something.

I only expect dc to text/call me if there are issues.
other than that I expect dc to be home at the agreed time.

It didn't because my son wasn't there that time but some of their alcohol consumption scares me. My son not so much but he feels responsible for his friends. They go to a field about 40 minutes away from our house near a river to drink and socialise. If they are near to curfew and drunk I can see where they are and offer to pick them up.

and I expect dc to tell us where they are and who they are with.

I can't believe how many people think it's okay to track their kids.

When my teenagers went out, I asked to know their plans and when they'd be back. I didn't expect to hear any more until they returned. If their plans changed, they would let me know.

For goodness sake people. Trust your kids and encourage their independence. This is beyond helicoptering behaviour.