Do you charge your 16 year old keep?

[HotChocolateLover]

Not sure what to do.

My DS (16) is just about to start a summer job and has shown me his next week part time shifts. For about 20 hours he will get £243 plus tips. We work full time and allow ourselves £30 a MONTH ‘pocket money’ each as it’s all we can afford. He will have all of this.

His father has just stopped paying £50 per week maintenance as he is out of work so we are even more skint. Not sure what to do. Should I ask for a set percentage weekly? Say 20%? As it’s 0 hours so
Some weeks he may not work. Or am I being mega right.

For this he would get all food, lifts where required and of course somewhere to live with the associated bills.

Interested in viewpoints.

My gut reaction was ‘no, he is only’ 16, but I think your circumstances change things.

Does he know your financial situation? I think I would share some info with him about how much money you have left at the end of the month and ask if he might consider contributing, maybe buying some food shopping for the home or something? I don’t like the idea of charging but I would want to encourage him to want to and choose to contribute.

No way for a summer job at 16. 18 maybe in a full time position.

I didn’t know it was a thing to charge your children for living with you. They’re your children. It’s not his fault that you have only £30 at the end of the month.

I presume you will get Child Benefit for him until he is 18.

Normally I'd say no. I paid 1/3 of my income to my parents from age 16 but my circumstances are different and I have never charged my children anything because we don't need their money. But your money is tight so a small amount seems reasonable.

I don't think you can charge him rent at 16.

When we have DC it's our responsibility to house them and look after them until they are 18. And something doesn't sit right with me about a 16 year old contributing to support the family, it feels like too much responsibility being placed on a 16 yr old. As a parent it's still your job to provide shelter and bills for him.

What I would probably do in your situation OP is look at what you spend on him and transfer the responsibility over to him. E.g. he pays his phone bill, buys his own clothes, buys his own lunches, toiletries and any treat foods he wants. Get him to pay some petrol money if he wants lifts.

That way he's contributing to his own lifestyle, learning to budget and you are saving some money, but it's not official rent. So you are still providing him with a home but he starts taking some responsibility for his other expenditures.

30% keep, 30% save and 40% his.

He is old enough for a sit down chat about costs, budgets and savings.
Way back when I was 16, I earned £25 a week. £15 went to my mum who secretly saved some each week and I got a lump sum on my 18th.

May I offer a perspective from the other side?

My mum was in a tighter financial position than you (single parent, four kids, benefits & no maintenance payments) and I only had weekend and holiday work. I gave her two thirds of my wages and kept the final third for extras. She bought the basics and if I needed clothes, shoes or something extra, I saved for it.

When I started my first job and was still at home, I had to pay a percentage of the rent and council tax (obviously I didn’t qualify for housing benefit but didn’t earn enough to pay the full whack so had to provide payslips on a regular basis) and gave her keep for my food etc which worked out to around a total of £400 a month.

I didn’t begrudge any of this because I understood that things were tight and an extra couple of pounds a week made the difference between her eating every day so that we could, or not having to choose between buying school shoes or putting money in the gas meter. It gave me financial independence, it taught me how to budget and I now know that if I lost my job tomorrow, I’d cope. I understood where the money was going and I knew I wasn’t paying for luxuries.

It’s all very well saying that you would never charge your child rent or board and asking why people have children and then refuse to pay for them, but I’d hazard a guess that a lot of you are looking at it from a more financially comfortable position than the OP is. She’s not going to be spending it on lattes and manicures. Even if you take money and put it into a savings account ready to give back to them, teaching your child how to budget and that life is expensive can only be a good thing, surely?

I think at 16 when you still get child benefit for him it's a bit mean to charge rent.
My DS has just finished alevels but won't start paying rent till August when his CB finishes. He earns about £1100 a month and has done for over a year now in his part time job.

Make a list with him and price up what he needs for college. Then tell him you expect him to save some also but don't charge rent.

Thanks @TazzaRazza👍😂

@OralBElectricToothbrush Would love to work full time but sadly due to my epilepsy getting worse I have to go to 4 days. So please don’t grandly tell me to just get another job when i’m Having regular seizures. 9 tonic clonic in a day wasn’t great 😢

Its tricky I would happily keep my kids but ds is into bodybuilding and has 6 eggs for supper and steaks for snacks. I'm not funding his hobby

I’d have a gentle chat to him and ask him what he thinks about it. He should at least take over buying his own clothes and toiletries (apart from basics) and maybe phone. I wouldn’t myself charge a 16yo but I’m not in your circumstances.

You know your son, but as a cautionary tale, DHs Dd has been working since 16 part time (and a year full time when she dropped out of college) and is now coming up 20 and has saved nothing for university. Not one cent! She asked him which credit card would be best recently as she took 2mths off work to study for her exams and had to pay a couple of things. I mean, she’s saved nothing. Her mum didn’t ask for housekeeping at all, so I’m not sure if that’s the right approach long term.

@Bonkerz
You have the right name, your son has £1100 pm and doesn’t contribute? You’re doing well letting him grow up entitled.

Absolutely normal to expect a contribution. It does kids a massive favour and was expected 50/ 60 years ago. He'll, my mum was working full time aged 14 and handed over the majority of her wages. Coincidentally it was also a time when taking on massive amounts of debt wasn't to be expected.

No wonder so many young people are clueless when it comes to money if they're never taught to budget and that running a house costs. If he's earning, he should contribute.

Hardly entitled! He's paid for his driving lessons and his first 2 cars and all associates costs. He buys his own clothes and doesn't have any money from me.
I'm his mum and therefore see it as my job to provide a roof/food whilst he is at college and studying for his education regardless of his job and earnings.
Now he's finished he has till August and then he will be paying his share of council tax and buying his own food.

No! When he's in full time permanent job and done with him education and at least 18/19.
Let him save up for something he wants. He's still only a kid.