Do you charge your 16 year old keep?

[HotChocolateLover]

Not sure what to do.

My DS (16) is just about to start a summer job and has shown me his next week part time shifts. For about 20 hours he will get £243 plus tips. We work full time and allow ourselves £30 a MONTH ‘pocket money’ each as it’s all we can afford. He will have all of this.

His father has just stopped paying £50 per week maintenance as he is out of work so we are even more skint. Not sure what to do. Should I ask for a set percentage weekly? Say 20%? As it’s 0 hours so
Some weeks he may not work. Or am I being mega right.

For this he would get all food, lifts where required and of course somewhere to live with the associated bills.

Interested in viewpoints.

£30 per month disposable income is really tight. If I was in that situation I would ask him to contribute at least something of his wage given your circumstances. Review it If your situation improves before the summer is out.

A summer job no I wouldn’t (and hopefully he won’t be eating you out of house and home if working). I’d have a chat and see if he could get some of the shopping in during this period.

I couldn't take money off my own kid but I would say tell him he needs to pay for any clothes/presents/takeaway from it. At 18 I could see charging him rent but not at 16 when you're legally obliged to provide for him

I read this to DH as he did the same training by the sound of it as your DS. We both we wouldn’t charge rent but we would get him to buy ingredients & cook dinner 2/3 times a week. But also clean up as that will give him chance to keep practising his cheffing skills but they need to be good at cooking in a clean environment and cleaning down after service.

Sorry - charge your child rent? Why on earth! I just don’t get why have children & then fleece them at every opportunity. No wonder family relationships are often fractured. I can get persuading them to save etc but to charge your own child. No. Just no. But that’s me.

I started a weekend job alongside college at 17 and received around £420 per month. I paid £150 to my mum each month because she needed the help. Once I got a full time job at 18, I continued paying £150 per month and had much more disposable income to spend/save for myself. I don't resent it and plan to do the same with my kids in the future (although I'm hoping to be in a position to put it aside as savings for them).

I don't think it is reasonable to charge your DS for something you would - presumably - be providing anyway as his parent, namely food and board for him. I think a better way to approach this would be to discuss with him your household budget and what you spend each month on essential outgoings, and what you have left as "spending money". Contrast this with what he might have as "spending money" from his job. Then I would say to him that you never know when you might need a bit of extra cash and so he should save half of what he earns and only spend half.

My 17 year old DS has a Saturday job which earns him between £250-£400 a month depending on commissions. He has a lot more spending money than I do! We make him save half. I wouldn't ask him for a contribution to household costs while he is still in full time education, but I would once he started work full time.

Why is Mumsnet so damn mean? Does it make people feel better to be as cruel and belittling as possible to some poor mother who is skint and trying to figure out a way forward. She came on here for advice because she's trying to think it through. Well done for being brave enough to ask your question OP. Sorry your ex reckons your kid doesn't need to eat the weeks he's out of work.

Hell yes, otherwise come the time he's properly working he'll expect the freebies to continue, which obviously doesn't teach him how to to look after himself out there in the real world. I'd go with a 1/3, but I'd be secretly saving it for DD, if I didn't actually need the extra money

No, it simply wouldn't occur to me to do this. I think providing your child with free accomodation, decent food and basic toiletries/clothes is a basic requirement of being a good parent.

So, my 16 year old daughter can help herself to anything in the fridge or cupboards. She uses the shower gel, shampoo, toothpaste and deodorants which I buy. I also buy her decent quality underwear, shoes, coats and jeans/tops.

She has a Saturday job and earns roughly £180 per month. So if she wants a fancy eyeshadow pallet, or fake tan or an expensive pair of trainers then she pays for that herself.

I think he should be made aware that he has more money than you and you would appreciate a contribution. Make him feel proud to be able to step up and contribute to the family. He's becoming a man and men have responsibilities. So I would say, don't 'charge' him, but involve him.

When my son started his apprenticeship at 16 he paid into the family pot.

I would say to him that i hate to ask him but ad we are struggling since his dad stopped maintenance would he be happy to contribute £25
Tell him it will make a big difference to your weekly budget

Why shouldn’t he be responsible
That’s a lot of money

No I wouldn't.

It would be different if he was out of education and working full time permanently but this is different.

It's a summer job and it's for a few weeks. He will need money for quite a lot of things for his course too I'd imagine. So I'd encourage him to set aside money for that - e.g. to try to build up say £300 in savings for unexpected expenses and I'd be happy he's managed to get such a well paying job. The rate does sound high to me at £12 an hour so I'd wait to see if that materialises first. They may be basing that on an expected/projected amount of tips - which may not happen.

I absolutely would not be charging my 16 year old, who has had the nounce to go out and get himself a summer job board.

Far to young to be saddled with the responsibilities of proppongup the household because of his parents poor financial planning.

I was charged keep, so was DH and his parents were wealthier than mine! Our children will be charged keep also once they start earning.

I don’t think you do adult children any favours otherwise, no one can live for free and paying keep, it’s still the cheapest way they will ever live.

hi sorry to jump on your thread my dd will be 16 in july starting summer job. I was go to take some from her to save for school trip she has next year and whatever else she need like clothes, top up, treats out with friends she can use her own money.

My son became an apprentice chef at 16. I charged him £30 a week for rent and bills. I took a small amount out to cover bills but was fortunate enough to be at to save the rest for him without his knowledge.
As an apprentice chef he wanted to cook his own meals so hr had to budget bus fare to work and meals and the rest was his to spend.
It taught him a lot about budgeting and making sure you pay your bills before you splash your cash on what you would like to have.
He moved out before his 17th birthday to be nearer his place of work (he didn't get home til past midnight and have to leave by 8 next day) . He had the skills to make that happen. If I had let him have all his cash with no responsibility I don't think he could have done that. I had that money sat there for when he needed a deposit for a flat.

BTW as others have said knives can be expensive. I bought him a bread knife for Christmas that cost over £100. He is an apprentice in a Michelin star restaurant so maybe college is cheaper, but something to be aware of.

He's becoming a man and men have responsibilities.

He's becoming an ADULT & ADULTS have responsibilities

@Jimdandy
It’s not propping up his parents, he’s got a good income and it does them well to learn budgeting and financial responsibility. So should all adult earning kids regardless of income/age live free with their parents?
If you’re earning to chip in to the house as you’re benefitting g from living there, do you think they’ll get a free flat anywhere?
You’re comment is rude.

No, not at 16. He's still a child and not responsible for supplementing the family finances.

The amount he's getting paid (over £12 an hour when NMW for 16yo is £4.35) doesn't sound likely to be accurate if I'm honest.

No, I’m sorry but I wouldn’t charge him. I would however expect him to do all his own laundry, cook some of the family meals and buy all his own stuff beyond basics (including extra snacks etc) as an earning 16 yr old. He’d need to pay his phone and transport and entertainment.

Yes i would take £10 a week, they have to learn thing's aren't free

Not at 16 for a summer job. His father's an arse to not take anything going to pay for his kid. If you're only working 4 days then you can take another job to make more money.

I wouldn't charge, but I would encourage him to save for driving lessons.
Working in hospitality, he will work unsociable hours, so would need to drive e sooner rather than later

No way unless I literally couldn't pay the household bills and then it would be returned once I was more stable