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Original poster

I’ve been reported as a missing person!

350 replies

Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 00:30

Frequent poster and have name changed for this.
I was woken by my mobile ringing about 40 minutes ago, I answered it on the second call, it was the police, they were outside my property and wanted to come in. I duly went downstairs and let them in.
I was starting to feel panicky as I have elderly parents and an adult DD who doesn’t live at home anymore.
I was asked my full name which I told them, they then told me I have been reported as a missing person. Somebody had told them that my father and partner couldn’t make contact with me and they were very worried about me. I was with my father this afternoon and I said goodnight to my partner around 2 hours ago by text as he’s at an airport and was about to fly.
I am now in bed with a cup of tea and feeling very confused. They checked on my sleeping DC too.
I don’t know why I’m posting to be honest, has anybody else experienced this?
I’m a very normal woman with a very normal life, they insisted that the call to them wasn’t malicious. So very confused!

OP posts:

WhereForArtThouBray · 21/06/2019 13:02

I reported someone missing and had to fill in an extensive form and I am fairly sure they told him when they found him that it was me that had been worried.

Iamtheworst · 21/06/2019 13:03

I would take it back to the police op just in case it wasn’t actually you that was reported. A small error in details could have had them at the wrong door and maybe someone is needing checked on.
Different from police but I know 2 cases where border force (whatever they are now) have made a mistake. Same name, similar address.

TheInebriati · 21/06/2019 13:15

Lizzielocket The police know who made the report, do they know the name of the friend who is sleeping on your sofa?

Lochnessgiraffe · 21/06/2019 13:16

My stbxh reported me "missing" when I moved out. Apparently I was vulnerable and suicidal (?). The police called me and eventhough I spoke to them they had to see me face to face. I met them in a car park as I was terrified of them knowing my address and passing it on to him. Very friendly and nice officers but they did tell me who had made the report. V odd they would tell you.

Deathraystare · 21/06/2019 13:26

My (now ex) French flat mate was reported missing to Interpol as his parents said they couldn't contact him. I had two policewomen at the door and then he came out of his room. Afterwards he rolled his eyes and said that he had recently changed his emqil address and had a new phone and warned them it would take a while (or something). There was I thinking he was a spy or somethig if Interpol were after him!!!!

TheJoxter · 21/06/2019 13:41

Deathraystare unrelated to the thread but I misread that as ‘my (now french) ex flatmate’ took me a moment to figure it out

MegaPants · 21/06/2019 13:51

We once had police raid the house at 3am after someone called them regarding a domestic involving a knife. They came running in as soon as I opened the door and checked the house for a dying person. I was half asleep and had no idea what was going on. We never did find out who called or why they called. Clearly the police couldn't be arsed arresting them for wasting police time and making hoax calls because we heard nothing else after that night. It took fucking ages to get the muddy boot prints off my carpet as well. Bastards.

Original poster

Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 13:53

Thanks for all your replies, it’s certainly food for thought.

You’ve got me thinking about my friend, I really don’t think he would do anything like this to me, its not a nice thought at all. He has crashed at our place quite a few times, he’s practically a member of the family. As I said upthread it’s a 30 year friendship.
I’m wondering if I got back in touch with the police and asked if it was him that reported they may confirm or deny. Police don’t know friends name as he came round after they had been.

I was flustered when they were in my living room but I remember asking several times who had reported. They said they couldn’t tell me. I have no idea if they then report back to the mysterious person that I am indeed alive and well.

DP would not be concerned that friend had stayed over, he trusts me and is more likely to buy a pint for friend to say thanks for being there.

Without sounding smug all my female friends know I’m happy with DP, I can’t imagine any would be suspicious about their DP’s being with me.

Friend did know that DP was going away.
DP has called and I’ve told him that something odd has happened and that I will tell him later when we can catch up properly.

I am feeling calm about it but maybe that’s because I’ve been busy and the suns shining, I know I may feel differently when I’m home tonight and it’s dark. We are not going to stay at my parents, we are going to stay at home, DD is coming to stay tonight.

When I get home I’m going to go through my contacts and see who has my number.

Thank you for sharing your experiences and thanks for the link to the MN classic thread, I will read that later at home.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 21/06/2019 13:54

It is not odd at all that the police began their investigation of the missing person report by visiting the OP's house! They have to ensure that the report is accurate as far as possible, and the home address of the person is an obvious starting point for establishing that:

A) They are actually missing, not just simply at home and haven't gone out for a few days.

B) They are not lying injured or dead in there, and if they are then whether other vulnerable people like children who live there are in need of care.

C) If they do turn out to be missing then perhaps there might be clues in the house or with neighbours as to where they might have gone

I don't see that as hard to grasp. It seems obvious to me.

Checking on any children in the property would surely be normal too. Image the field day and feeding frenzy the media would have if the children had been harmed and police failed to act despite it all being right there under their noses!!

I am not intending to imply that any of that applies to the OP. It clearly doesn't. Just offering potential reasons why the police acted as they did.

knittedthrow · 21/06/2019 13:58

When I get home I’m going to go through my contacts and see who has my number.

That will only tell you who's numbers you have surely?

Topseyt · 21/06/2019 14:00

I think it would be worth trying to phone the police again to ask specifically whether or not it was your friend.

I know we are playing armchair detectives a bit on here, and I don't mean that too flippantly even if it might sound that way. It isn't impossible. I still don't know whether or not they will be able to tell you though.

Yabbers · 21/06/2019 14:11

why would they have gone to your house if you were reported missing?! Very bizarre.

A guy here was posted as mission for three days. Local police put out several posts asking for his whereabouts. He was found sitting in his home, where he’d been all the time. Wouldn’t the home be the first place you looked?

Soola · 21/06/2019 14:19

When I was reported missing it wasn’t acted on for a couple of days and only involved a phone call to my place of work who confirmed I was alive and well. They didn’t even ask to speak to me!

Their seems to be much more an element of emergency in the op’s situation.

Sonicknuckles · 21/06/2019 14:20

That's really weird

HuggedTheRedwoods · 21/06/2019 14:43

I would be asking the police to tell you more, especially if you tell them you are now worried as it clearly wasn't a genuine call on behalf of your family members. We had a colleague leave a conference in the middle of the day and never returned to the conference or our place of business in the following days and didnt pick up calls, emails or texts. We reported to the police (well, HR did). The police went to his home, found all was well with him (apart from he hated his job and just decided he'd had enough apparently) but the police told him it was his employer who had reported him missing.

tomatostottie · 21/06/2019 14:59

When was the last time you spoke/messaged your friend BEFORE you were reported missing?

Original poster

Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 15:09

knittedthrow I got a new phone, contract and number around 2 months ago, I had a cull then and only sent my new number out to people who are relevant to me now, I had numbers on there for people I only vaguely knew and never contacted.

tomatoestottie we met for a coffee on Thursday and exchanged a couple of texts yesterday. He has texted me today.

Only 2 hours left at work and I’m feeling slightly reluctant to go home.

OP posts:

Soola · 21/06/2019 15:16

I would definitely contact the police and say that you have spoke to all your loved ones today and they all confirm it was not them that contacted the police to report you missing.

Say you do not want to take it further because it seems to be a malicious attempt to get the police to call round and as such cause me anxiety.

Tell them about your number only being circulated to a small amount of people.

I would not let this drop.

Soola · 21/06/2019 15:17

I forgot to add there was no cloak and dagger when I was reported missing. The police asked my workplace to ask me to contact the worried relative and named her to my colleague who answered the phone.

Mner2019 · 21/06/2019 15:26

Maybe the police don't know who it was? Could the caller have remained anonymous or used a false name...?

NeverSayFreelance · 21/06/2019 15:26

Well this is a Mumsnet Classic if I ever saw one.

But that's utterly bizarre!

mindutopia · 21/06/2019 15:28

Given your update, I would definitely follow this up. This is someone who knows you well enough to have your new number. I would doubt if this is the last of it and I would want to nip this in the bud before it becomes something more serious.

Imtootired · 21/06/2019 15:29

Maybe the person who reported you missing didn’t have your number and the police managed to get it themselves? That makes it a bit harder to narrow down who it might be

DoulaDaisy · 21/06/2019 15:42

To anyone who thinks it was the friend, what would be the reason he'd do something like that? He obvs doesn't want to get in her knickers or bed because he would have tried it last night when she asked him to come over instead he just went to sleep on the sofa.

GabsAlot · 21/06/2019 16:59

I would stil contqact the police and say they may have made an error and someone else is still missing

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