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Original poster

I’ve been reported as a missing person!

350 replies

Lizzielocket · 21/06/2019 00:30

Frequent poster and have name changed for this.
I was woken by my mobile ringing about 40 minutes ago, I answered it on the second call, it was the police, they were outside my property and wanted to come in. I duly went downstairs and let them in.
I was starting to feel panicky as I have elderly parents and an adult DD who doesn’t live at home anymore.
I was asked my full name which I told them, they then told me I have been reported as a missing person. Somebody had told them that my father and partner couldn’t make contact with me and they were very worried about me. I was with my father this afternoon and I said goodnight to my partner around 2 hours ago by text as he’s at an airport and was about to fly.
I am now in bed with a cup of tea and feeling very confused. They checked on my sleeping DC too.
I don’t know why I’m posting to be honest, has anybody else experienced this?
I’m a very normal woman with a very normal life, they insisted that the call to them wasn’t malicious. So very confused!

OP posts:

HipporaffeAndMonkeys · 23/06/2019 10:08

hmmm. I would be going to see the Sargeant at the station tomorrow this is so quintessentialy English!!

JaneyJimplin · 23/06/2019 10:17

This is so bizarre... I know you're v dubious it can't be your old stalker, but I'm not so sure. If you (general you) want to find out about someone, it's generally very possible if you try hard enough. You might think you'd be impossible to find, but I think you are mistaken there.

Would you consider contacting the police again, explaining that you have been wracking your brain trying to figure this out and are wondering if it could be linked to a previous stalker. I'd like to think they would look in to this report further based on that, as stalking is taken much more seriously now than 20 years ago.

Look out for anything else odd happening that might point to stalking.

Your sane, rational brain is saying "that was 20 years ago! He's probably married now, why would he start stalking me again after so long??!" Well. He isn't rational or sane, he is obsessive and unstable. He may have got married and moved on. That marriage might have ended, or any number of big life events that might get him thinking about you and wondering where you are.

Conflicted121 · 23/06/2019 10:46

Something similar happened to me about 5 years ago.

It was a welfare check, I received a call to say that they wanted to know that I was ok. I said that I was fine but my children were playing in the background and the operator pointed out that it sounded noisy in the background to which I replied my children were playing.

10 minutes later there was a knock at the door. On opening a policeman pushed his foot through the door and insisted that they come in and see the children. I had another teenager still in bed who got a shock when a policeman popped his head around their bedroom door.

It was a genuine visit. I believe it was either a case of mistaken identity or a malicious call but what I am sure of was that no-one provided them with my telephone number so can only presume that they have access to agencies that can provide registered phone numbers or something.

All very unnerving when you are least expecting it.

jmsburnham · 23/06/2019 10:57

You need to contact your father and his partner to find out who they said this to - if they did. I would not have thought that the police would get involved if it was another member of the public, I think they would have spoken to your father first. Ring the police station and find out more!

MRex · 23/06/2019 11:03

She doesn't necessarily live in a tiny village where the police know who her father is and defer to the eldest member of the family @jmsburnham, what a weird idea. Anybody can say they're father / mother / sibling and the person told the police get father and partner hadn't heard from her. A welfare check involves checking on the missing person first, not chasing around their entire extended family first.

Anyonebut · 23/06/2019 11:19

I think OP is right not worrying too much about it unless something else happens.
However, I find the Police's reply to her questionsing who reported this extremely irritating. Why can't they just sai either it was an anonymous report or the person identified themselves as so-and-so? It seems unfair to find yourself in this position and not be given any answers.

NoobThebrave · 23/06/2019 12:08

I wonder if a nosy neighbour saw your partner leave with cases and you outside and assumed you had left dc home alone? It was some obscure way of getting the police to check and once you opened the door they knew all was ok?

Your number can appear in all sorts of places once given on websites/forms/pizza delivery! I would go for stupid prank if not above and not torture yourself or question an old friendship/be looking for shadows. It sounds like you live in a community where you have lots of people who may know your news - school mums etc - someone who mentioned in passing that your parents are nearby/dp has gone away etc! Keep yourself safe and be aware but think it was just a prank without someone understanding the bigger consequences on you.

Ellyess · 23/06/2019 15:26

It's good to know the Police look out for us. I don't think it is your friend actually - as someone said if this were a film it would be the friend, well I think if this were a film the friend would be there to look suspicious and misdirect our attention!

I think it will be more boring than a film. Either there will be a totally banal explanation or you will never know! The good news is that many people are there to look out for you! If this happened to me and I thought it was a hoax I'd look at anyone with an immature attitude, the sort who gives wolf-whistles and hides, or sends you those sex calls in the middle of the night (someone did that to me - he was a moron of the most moronic kind) or teenagers doing it to a Teacher.

So long as you do all the sensible things to stay safe, I think you will be ok. If someone is trying to be difficult, then they know the Police have been to your house. That should put them off being difficult with you.

Try and get back to normal. Good luck!

Ellyess · 23/06/2019 15:32

Anyonebut. I agree. Why can't you be told who reported this wrong information? Or at least be told why they can't tell you - and not "procedure"!

I had to report someone - Solicitor's strong advice. The Police went to see them. Of course they knew it was I who reported them!

OP is the victim. She has the right to know who the Perpetrator is! I'd ask the Police again!

luckylorca · 23/06/2019 17:45

Have you been

arguing with your partner or

had recent contact with an ex or

any other reason your current partner might be suspicious about whether you are seeing someone else?

If your other half has just gone away, it would be an easy way of him checking up where you are and who you are with, rather than hiring a private eye (that he’d have to pay!) to check what you get up to when he goes abroad...

(It’s a stretch but I’m just trying to think of every possible scenario!)

Honeyroar · 23/06/2019 19:54

Lizzielocket I think you've come to the right conclusion. Keep your ears pricked for anything else untoward, but otherwise put it down as one of those weird things and move on. If you pay too much heed to some of the theories on here you'd end up agrophobic! (Sp?)

JosieJasper · 23/06/2019 19:56

Ellyess Data protection means they are not legally allowed to give the information, it’s not just ‘procedure’ it’s the law. Obviously in 99.9% of cases the person reported as missing would find out from the person who reported them that it was them. OPs situation is definitely very strange and I hope she finds out what was going on.

Ellyess · 23/06/2019 20:14

JosieJasper. Oh I see. Thanks.

Kukumbr · 23/06/2019 20:50

Ricoetbello · 23/06/2019 20:55

Yup. Police rang all my recent call list before ringing me though. To see if they knew where I was.
Had to get my mum to confirm I was at home as they didnt believe me.
Turns out it was a girl with the same name as me but she lived miles away from me. Lol

EmmaLouisLou · 23/06/2019 21:45

It all seems a bit odd but probably best not to dwell on it too much, you’ll likely never know who contacted police and it could have been done with good intentions.

My sister had police on the doorstep late one evening asking to speak to her but not in the presence of her dh. He had to go and sit in the bedroom. They’d had a call about dv from someone with the same name as her but the call had been cutoff and they could only trace it to an area, not a specific address. They were checking all the women with the same name in the area. She confirmed it wasn’t her and was quite surprised (but pleased) they were trying to track down the source of the call.

caringcarer · 23/06/2019 22:53

Do you have a malicious ex partner?

WellThisIsShit · 24/06/2019 11:58

I would ignore the policeman’s offhand comment that it couldn’t be malicious, as quite frankly, they have absolutely no way of knowing that.

It’s an over-assertion of their knowledge, which I think can someone’s happen if someone is used to being the one who usually is in authority and in the know.

But really, this policeman wouldn’t have anything to base his assertion on, and he’s ended up giving his random opinion as a ‘fact’.

This has set you off wondering what on earth could have happened and made everything more worrying and mysterious than being able to put it down to a random persons stupidity and gossip/ maliciousness induced Probably a loose connection who you culled in the recent phone number change, who can’t believe they are not the front and centre of everybody's lives!

It’s so much more likely to be that, rather than any other potentially more mysterious and scary thing.

JosieJasper · 24/06/2019 13:10

‘Insisting’ is hardly an offhand comment though. Remember, they have more information so can “know that” but just can’t share it with OP. Sounds like they were doing their best to put her mind at ease to me.

1800swoman · 24/06/2019 14:53

About 20 years ago the police turned up at my parents house asking for my mum and asking if a man in his late 20s lived here. It was obvious they had to break bad news and we were immediately concerned they were referring to my husband who worked away in the week but lived there at the week end. We quickly realised that they had got the wrong house - a lady with the same name as my mum and a similar age lived at the other end of the street. The police were momentarily relieved and confided to us that they had to break the sad news that her son had been found dead. If we hadn't been aware of this lady we would have been as confused as you are now.

PurpleCrowbar · 24/06/2019 15:51

Is there anything you've ordered online or IRL & had to give your mobile number to confirm delivery/be texted a receipt?

Could be any bored weirdo with a dull job & access to a customer database, pulling a name out at random.

Redglitter · 24/06/2019 17:39

OP hasn't been on the thread. Think she's probably wisely decided to stay away now.

Or I wonder - should she be reported missing 🤔

MadeForThis · 24/06/2019 19:13

KazDee9 · 24/06/2019 20:47

Plot twist. It was the guy on the sofa, now he has her locked up in a cupboard under the stairs...... If OP doesn't reappear this could be the first mumsnet appearance on a crime documentary.....

Sorry OP couldn't resist!

GettickledGETTICKLEDbyspiders · 24/06/2019 20:57

The ‘friend’ has either eaten her or is wearing her skin.

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