I’ve been reported as a missing person!

[Lizzielocket]

Frequent poster and have name changed for this.
I was woken by my mobile ringing about 40 minutes ago, I answered it on the second call, it was the police, they were outside my property and wanted to come in. I duly went downstairs and let them in.
I was starting to feel panicky as I have elderly parents and an adult DD who doesn’t live at home anymore.
I was asked my full name which I told them, they then told me I have been reported as a missing person. Somebody had told them that my father and partner couldn’t make contact with me and they were very worried about me. I was with my father this afternoon and I said goodnight to my partner around 2 hours ago by text as he’s at an airport and was about to fly.
I am now in bed with a cup of tea and feeling very confused. They checked on my sleeping DC too.
I don’t know why I’m posting to be honest, has anybody else experienced this?
I’m a very normal woman with a very normal life, they insisted that the call to them wasn’t malicious. So very confused!

I’ve been the victim of two stalkers and one was an obsessed man who I slightly knew and the other a complete stranger who was violent and dangerous and he stabbed another woman in frustration after police started trailing me to and from work.

At the time of my reporting the harassment of the dangerous one the police view was that it’s usually someone who you have had a casual meeting or acquaintance with but in their mind they’ve built it up to much much more.

That’s why I personally don’t think it’s the op’s long standing friend.

@RosaWaiting a safe a well check would be requested from the police through force control based on the information given.

Sorry busy morning, to the poster who said I shouldn’t be afraid to be in my own home, I’m not afraid, I was unnerved, confused and a little worried the night it happened, yesterday I worked myself up into a bit of a panic but today I’m fine, I will be keeping an eye out for anything untoward but apart from that I’m not worried at all.

I’m not going to get back in touch with the police and demand to know who reported it unless anything else develops.

Friend has had plenty of chances to hit on me over the years, I’ve been drunk many a time in his company when we were younger and he’s always been respectful. There’s no sexual attraction on either side. He’s like a member of the family. I have cried plenty of times to him but with major life events, divorce, miscarriage etc. When I texted him the other night, it was more of a hey, are you awake, your never guess what’s happened sort of thing not a please come round I’m absolutely terrified text.

I’ve had no missed calls/voicemails or notes through my door asking after my welfare.

I did have a stalker 20 odd years ago and as some posters have said it is a nasty experience, he was an estate agent dealing with the sale of mine and exH house, it got so bad that we had to involve the police and he was sacked from his job. Being stalked is a terrifying and very unpleasant experience. It should never be taken lightly, it’s a very serious matter. I feel nothing like how I did then. Fortunately it seems there is no stalker this time.

Ridged I see, thanks. Do you know if it would have to be an urgent report to warrant them visiting at around midnight?

Rosa reports are risk assessed according to the information given - without knowing what was given alongside the information about not having seen your sister for a few days (just using your example) there would be no way of ascertaining what the risk would be deemed e.g, not seen and concern for welfare of two small children in the house, not seen and currently has a protection order in place, not seen and recently an abusive ex partner has been harassing her etc etc etc as opposed to simply not seen would be categorised differently I would have thought. Ultimately it is the police who give consideration as to how urgent it might be to perform that check.

I have to say that personally if I had serious concerns about someone's welfare I would always contact the police directly. However if someone is keen not to be traced for whatever reason such as making malicious reports then they would perhaps utilise other avenues.

I do not work for Crimestoppers and so don't know their procedures and protocols exactly.

Ridged I'm just thinking that whoever did this to OP must have registered it as being a very urgent concern.

OP glad you are feeling better. I would be seeking more information from the police but that's just me!

Yes @RosaWaiting I would also seek more information and understand your concern (I share it); I was just saying really that sometimes it's a case of "can't" rather than "won't" for a number of reasons.

I instantly thought it's your friend as well. I also worried straight away whether you had any young children at home that he could get access to during the night with your DH away. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking this way but I'm just being honest that it was my first thought.

I did have a stalker 20 odd years ago and as some posters have said it is a nasty experience, he was an estate agent dealing with the sale of mine and exH house, it got so bad that we had to involve the police and he was sacked from his job. Being stalked is a terrifying and very unpleasant experience. It should never be taken lightly, it’s a very serious matter. I feel nothing like how I did then. Fortunately it seems there is no stalker this time.

This is a potential concern. Are you sure he’s not cropped back up again?

I’m not going to get back in touch with the police and demand to know who reported it unless anything else develops.

Your choice obviously, but personally I'd be asking the police rather than quietly speculating about a seemingly previously trusted close friend, for peace of mind if nothing else.

OP what happened to you was unnerving and unusual but do not allow other posters to inflame your imagination and make you paranoid.
You will likely never get to the bottom of what happened but unless something else like this happens or it is linked to other unusual happenings you need to write this off as something weird but harmless or you’ll drive yourself mad.

@gamerwidow The most sensible post on the thread

OP, I know you checked your contacts but have you also checked WhatsApp?

Any groups you are a member of will display your mobile number.

This mystery is truly boggling. I hope you are okay.

I think it's the estate agent or the partner's been having an affair.

The close friend would have easier routes than using the police, it's not likely.

gamerwidow the voice of reason, thank you. You could quite possibly drive yourself mad overanalysing the situation.

shrek1978 friend is godparent to youngest DC, this would never, ever enter my mind, if I had any doubts whatsoever about my friend he would not be in my DC’s lives or indeed mine.

Crikey, regarding the estate agent, it was 20 years ago, I have had at least 5 house moves since then, many different phone numbers and a surname change. He didn’t live in my town, he worked in the estate agents that was in my town. I should imagine he’s since grown up and possibly has a wife and family. I don’t have social media so he literally has no way of finding me.

PP who asked if I get into debates online, no, that’s not my bag at all.

MRex This is my life not a tv drama. I trust my partner, he trusts me which is exactly as it should be.

Ok, well the options are reduced then. Are either of your parents in possible early dementia stages and could have got confused?

MRex goodness no, I see them almost every day, they are elderly but both sharp as tacks. They are rarely without one another so one of them would have been aware if the other had done something like this.
I think I’m going to have to put it down to somebody playing a stupid prank, if anything further happens I will be on it and contact the police myself for advice.

Are you sure it was genuine police?

In my line of work we encounter people with fake police knocking on their doors...

Yes I read that you saw the car. But are you certain it was a genuine police car, did you see police ID.

They could have been fact finding for identity theft. Please verify with a station that they WERE genuine police!! Please?

Good luck xx

I’ve tried to read most of the comments but not sure if someone said this: Maybe have a look back at texts about when you and your friend decided to have him come sleep on the sofa the night the police came over. Did you ask or did he bring it up? If he knew your DP was away and he’s the one who offered to sleep on the sofa without you asking, I would find it more likely that it might be him who reported you missing, engineered not to scare you, but so that he could be the hero.

Also while I know you said your stalker was over 20 years ago, but I would still verify with the police that it wasn’t him.

Op you said you changed your phone and culled some numbers. It would seem possible that it was one of those people who probably also said your parents and partner were worried as otherwise the police wouldn’t take it seriously so probably not malicious at all just misguided.

How about you contact the police and give them your friend's name, tell them he has been spending the night since the incident and ask them to confirm he is NOT the caller. They might be able to confirm who the caller is not, or you might get a reaction. Data Protection goes out the window where there is a suspicion of danger to the individual.

Yes, the police were genuine, on the advice of a poster on here I had it confirmed that 2 officers came to my address to check I was alive and well.

My friend stayed for one night only, my DD stayed over Friday night. If I told the police that I was terrified and my friend had stayed with me every night since I would in fact be lying. As I said upthread I texted my friend asking if he was awake, told him what had happened, he asked if I was ok, I said I was confused and a little unnerved, he asked if I’d like him to pop round, I said yes, he said put the kettle on and that was it. No mega drama or panicky texts made. I do very much appreciate the fact he came round. I’d do the same for any of my female friends if the same had happened to them. I’d be there like a shot. I really don’t see the difference whether a friend is a man or a woman.

Regarding the estate agent, I can’t even remember his surname, he doesn’t know my surname only the name I used 20 years ago, he doesn’t know my address and he doesn’t know my phone number. I haven’t as much passed him on the street in the last 20 years. A man contacting the police about a missing woman that he’s supposedly in regular contact with would be able to give her full name, address and mobile or landline number.

Whoever made the call knew my phone number as they passed it along to the police as well as my address as far as I know.

It can’t be anybody whose number I deleted because the mystery caller gave my number to the police. The people I culled from my contacts I didn’t give my new number.

sunshine mode makes a very good point.
I think that's the most likely scenario.

Cross post.