WWYD - Woman crying in the street

[ExhaustedGrinch]

There's a specific reason I have to ask this, will explain in a later post once I've got some answers.

Scenario is this: You're just wandering around town/city and you see a woman crying to herself. She's not wailing or sobbing loudly but just wiping tears away that won't stop falling.

What would you think about a person if you saw them crying in town?

How would you react?

TIA to anyone who answers

I would stop and ask if there was anyone I could call for you or if you needed my help to get somewhere safe. I wouldn't push the point.
I've once spoken to someone about to commit suicide at a train station and it was so important. Always ask, it can break the thought cycle and if your help isn't needed it's all good!

Thanks for @LizzieSiddal - your little kindness goes a long way.

I wouldn't think anything about the person other than she may need help or a kindly word. No one knows what is happening in another person 's life. So, be kind, even if your kindness is rejected better that then to be oblivious to those with whom we share our planet.

I would ask if there was anything I could do to help.

Having said that though it's happening to me a lot at the moment (crying constantly) and in all honesty I think I'd prefer to be left alone.
However, everyone is different..
I don't think there is any right or wrong and it's sometimes hard to judge whether someone would welcome a bit of support (tissue and a few kind words) or whether they would prefer to just deal with it in their own way.

This was me in an airport earlier this Year. I had just had some terribly bad news and was barely holding things together. I could not stop weeping. A kind woman noticed, popped over to ask if she could help, and left me some tissues. There was nothing else she could have done for me, but I very much appreciated her kind gesture. Also the gate staff who let me jump the boarding queue. They made an awful day a little easier.

And yes, I will always stop to ask too, if I can, and pass them one of my spare packs of tissues.

This happened to me recently.

I was out shopping and saw a young woman crying. She was leaning on a lamppost and had her phone in her hand so I went over to ask if she was okay. Her dad had just ring to say her aunt had died and she was waiting for him to ring her back.

I gave her a hug and we had a brief chat until her dad rang and then I left her alone.

i would try to make conversation and ask if she needed help. I have stopped my car on a road once when a woman was running along the road looking distraught...i thought she had been mugged or something. i wound down the window but she opened the door and got in, i asked if she was okay and she just said 'i need some money' freaked me out as i had two young children in the car...talked my way out of that with some quick thinking, she eventually got out and ran towards another car. Just recently there was a person laying on the pavement...an hour later they were still there so i approached and it was a young girl who was really appreciative that someone had cared enough to ask if she was ok...she was having a bad day but didnt say what. Its really difficult in todays society to approach people because you dont want to put yourself in any danger

I'd feel nothing but sympathy. I might approach them or not, depending on what the situation was, but my heart would go out to them.

How would you feel if you saw someone crying in public, OP?

Someone came up to me once, I was having a really tough time and was crying - not in the street but in an exhibition. She spent an hour with me, talking and listening. It really helped. She was only young as well. Thank you lady in the Southbank centre.

Does no one think to ring 999 if they say someone laying prostrate in the road, getting off a bus stumbling and bloody, or running down the road in a distressed state? I'm actually shocked at people saying they've allowed random strangers in their car (and with their young kids in it, too) or would take someone who appears to be injured home or approaches a person laying prone in the road instead of first calling the authorities.

I hope I would stop and ask if there was anything I could do. It would depend on the circumstances, I don’t think I would if I had the DC with me (sadly I probably wouldn’t even notice if they’re with me as I’m often firefighting whatever mini drama they’re having).

I once did ask a man if he was OK - he didn’t look it. I was at work but broke off for a while to talk to him. He told me what was wrong - he had just been through a pretty awful experience. Looking back I think he was in a bit of shock. There wasn’t anything I could do and I felt a bit useless but I think he felt better having talked about it.

I never saw the man again. The next day there was a card at my work, with the quote below. It stayed with me always,

‘It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.’

I will never forget a lovely lady speaking to me when I was upset.
I was in my car parked on a street, absolutely heartbroken and inconsolable, in hysterics. She came to my car with a pack of tissues and she asked if I was okay. I couldn't speak, but I did thank her for the tissues. A few minutes later she came back with some chocolate and asked if I wanted to talk. I thanked her for the chocolate but said I didnt want to talk at this time.

She made me realise that not everyone would treat me how the person I was breaking my heart over treated me. I wish i could have thanked her properly!

Another time, I had an injury while riding and had to dismount and sit on the pavement to stop myself from being sick/fainting, knees between my head sort of thing. Another lovely lady came outside with water and biscuits and held my horse while I sat for a while!

I like to think I would do the same.

i didnt let some woman in my car...she just got in, would you not stop to assist someone if they looked in need...and this was before mobile phones, i didnt expect her to get in the car! ...as for the person laying on the pavement, this was in spain by a beach....there was lots of people laying nearby sunbathing, this was different as she had all her clothes on including a woolly hat in a 30 degree temp..struth.

and i dont have to answer to some know it all on here!!

found a man laying on the pavement outside my home once too, phoned the police and they asked me to see if he was rousable....so great help they were anyway!....he was really drunk and had his ear bitten off in a fight....ambulance wouldnt come either

I'd go ever and check she was okay and if she needed a chat or if there was anything else I could do.

I wouldn't think anything other than better check she's okay.

I can’t think how a person can walk past another person crying in the street.

Easy - I imagine how mortified, awkward and freaked out I'd be if I was the one crying and someone I don't know came over and spoke to me. Then I imagine how awkward and forced my enquiries/offers for help will come across to the poor person. Then I imagine them actually wanting to talk to me and I die inside/run in the opposite direction!

Not everyone can handle everyday social situations with their friends, let alone difficult ones with strangers!

Read your update. No I have never ever thought anyone was weak or pathetic for crying and as a rule in my house no one is ever allowed to say to my six year old son "stop crying like a girl/baby" because I don't want him to ever think it's not okay to express his emotions or feel belittled for it (and I hate how sexist the comment is).

No, Lemon, I wouldn't. I'd stop when I could and use my mobile to ring 999. I think it's really naive to do otherwise. I'm from a place with a lot more violence, nowt to do with this whole 'kindness' thing, the kindest thing is the get the authorities in rather than risking your own safety and that of your kids and get more people involved in a potentially dangerous situation. It's one thing when someone's silently weeping in the middle of a busy road, but some of the things on here, like taking home a person who's getting off a bus bloody and stumbling or stopping your car for a person on the road who's just running down it looking distressed just seems bordering on folly it's no naive.

I was in that situation last year. Depressed, anxious, utterly overwhelmed and unsupported at work. I was weeping in the middle of a shopping street. I was relieved to be left alone. It was bad enough as it was without anyone asking me if I was ok. It did make me realise just how bad things were though and got me back to my gp, for antidepressants and anxiety meds.

PMSL, yeah, it's really being a 'know it all' to find it ill-advised to approach randoms in states of distress.

I can’t think how a person can walk past another person crying in the street.

If you're dashing to pick up your kids, or to clock in before you get the sack or an hour's pay docked or need to get to an appointment before they put you down as a no-show, you might not even notice. Not everyone has time to stop or can.

It's doesn't mean they think the crying person is weak or pathetic, but may not be able to spare the time (or, as one person pointed out, may also have been mugged or commanded to hand over money for this in the past).

I certainly wouldn't think the worse of you. I've been in this position at least a couple of times recently - once when total stranger was needlessly horrible to me, though what set me off was people standing up for me; and once the day after my father's funeral. I wouldn't have wanted anyone coming up to me, I'd have been really embarrassed if they did. But if I see someone else crying I assume they have their own very good reasons for it.

I would wonder what had upset the crying person. Assuming I had the time and the situation felt safe, I'd be likely to go and ask the person if there was anything I could do to help.

I would absolutely not think they were weak or pathetic.

Last year there was a young adult sobbing in the train carriage I was in. It was the last train from London that night and DD (13) was with me. I asked if she needed any help and she wanted to know if the train we were on was going to a particular destination. It wasn't. Her phone battery was dead so I offered her the chance to use mine to ring someone but it turned out she was crying because she'd got split up from her friends/housemates and didn't know their numbers anyway. She didn't have a plan to get home safely, buses weren't running and she was still crying so I suggested she get off the train at our stop and I'd help her get home. Although she initially said she'd be fine, when we arrived at our stop she collapsed into floods of tears again so I offered again. She accepted and I ended up driving her home. Yes, there were risks in her accepting a lift from a random woman and her teenager but given how upset she was, I felt she'd be more vulnerable walking home for a few miles along a dual carriageway, in the dark, not dressed for the weather and without any way of contacting anyone.

I explained to her en route that a kind black cab driver had done the same for me 20 years earlier - scooped me up from a risky situation and got me to where I was staying in London, even though I couldn't pay. At the time, he said he'd want someone to do the same for his daughter and that's very much how I felt with the sobbing student I got to her home; if that had been my daughter sobbing and alone, I'd have wanted someone to offer to help.

I encourage my DSs to cry if they need to. It's a healthy outlet of emotion. My 6 yo recently fell and had several nasty grazes. He was muttering "don't cry, don't cry" to himself. I told him that it was OK to cry if he needed to. My other DS seems to be getting better at crying to release emotions and is getting less angry meltdowns too.

In the street, it would very much depend on context. Sadly there are a lot of chancers in my town, some of them very unpleasant, usually not helped by strong lager or drugs and it does make me weary about dealing with unknown people in the city centre.