WWYD - Woman crying in the street

[ExhaustedGrinch]

There's a specific reason I have to ask this, will explain in a later post once I've got some answers.

Scenario is this: You're just wandering around town/city and you see a woman crying to herself. She's not wailing or sobbing loudly but just wiping tears away that won't stop falling.

What would you think about a person if you saw them crying in town?

How would you react?

TIA to anyone who answers

We've all cried, OP

I would ask if they were ok. I have and will always do this, it’s instinctive. Best of luck to you OP. You are NOT weak. Emotions are not pathetic

I dont think its week or pathetic to cry. I an glad you are getting help. I can see you have had a tough life and I hope things get easier for you
You will probably have good days, better days and bad days. This is perfectly normal so dont feel bad! Keep going and you will get stronger. Good luck.

I’d feel bad for her but would leave her to it.

That’s been me on a couple of occasions and I’d rather be left alone. If someone says ‘are you okay’, it makes me cry more when all I really need to do is have a few minutes to be sad.

I wouldn’t think you were weak, as a fellow anxiety/panic disorder sufferer and someone who is completely overwhelmed by noise, sounds, lights etc I would feel nothing but empathy for you. When tears come I often struggle to keep them back (my 14 year old ds is the same bless him). Keep strong, there are more of us there than you realise 💐

I would approach gently and ask them if they were ok. Offer the, tissues and a sit down with a cup of tea etc if indicated.
Once i got bad news when out, I literally screamed then sobbed. Two women came over, hugged me sat me down ran to get me a hot tea, and stayed with me until one of my brother arrived. I've never forgotten their kindness.
I certainly wouldn't think them weak, pathetic or anything like that.

I would just say "Are you okay?" Most people say yes. One young man said no. His partner was having his first child and he had just found out his best friend was the father.He needed someone to talk to so my husband went home while I sat and talked to the man. I think it helped.

I would probably smile at them reassuringly and move on if the only thing was them crying to themselves. If there was something else going on with it I would stop md ask if they needed help. For instance there was a young lady sat on the kerb near my house just in her nightie crying at about 11pm so I asked if she was ok (she wasnt but that's a whole other story) whereas if someone who was dressed appropriately sat on a branch in town having a quiet cry to themselves I would just smile reassuringly and move on as thts what I would hope people would do to me.

I have seen a woman crying quietly like this. I nicked a move from The Color Purple and quietly indicted to her to keep her chin up, gave her (what I hope) was an empthatic smile and moved on
I really wouldnt do this. She could have just been given some life changing news, a family member could have died and to have someone smiling and telling me to keep my chin up may well have been a final straw!!

I wouldn’t think anything bad and would feel sympathetic. I have cried in public before and am not ashamed. It’s a natural part of being human and much better than bottling things up.

I’d think either sad or allergic reaction.
If I was close by I’d offer Kleenex if I had one.

“I passed tissues to a woman who was weeping on the bus. I just smiled and nodded and she smiled back and wiped her eyes. When she got off she said than you and I said ‘it’s going to be ok’ and she nodded and smiled back.”

I think this is lovely. Whether or not I’d do similar depends on loads of variables- if I were in a hurry, if i had tissues, what sort of mood I was in.

I wouldn’t think anything at all of her other than she’s sad

If it helps (and it shouldn't but... iykwim) most people probably don't think anything or even notice. People are very self centred in the main.
Hope you feel stronger soon, OP

Your post had actually brought tears to my eyes now. its definitely not a sign of weakness. I think we have all had those moments- sometimes over life changing moments and then (I know for me anyway) something seemingly trivial.
I would ask if you were okay and offer a tissue.

I hate the “it’s going to be ok” platitude. How do you know?

I think what I would do would depend on various factors - did the person look like they wanted assistance or did they look like they wanted to be left alone; did they look injured or unwell, were they alone. And also things like location and time of day. But I wouldn't think they were pathetic or weak.

Funnily enough, I had this exact scenario happen yesterday. There was a woman on my road crying and I walked past her. My only thought was, should I stop? Decided not to as it didn't feel the right thing to do. I just assumed she had some difficulties going on. We all cry.

I’ve been in this situation a couple of times and apppreciated a kind stranger checking if I was ok. I have also saw someone crying in the street and checked they were ok.

I’d stop and ask them if they’re ok, and if I could do anything to help them, or offer a tissue. I’ve previously gone and bought a pack and a bottle of water for people I’ve seen upset which they’ve accepted.

I’ve cried plenty of times in public, but the worst one was when I was dropping off unwanted clothes belonging to a very much loved one who’d just died at the charity shop and I just broke down sobbing. A couple of lovely older ladies stopped, hugged me and arranged for staff to take the stuff in for me whilst I just wept and stuttered. I felt so ashamed at the time, but they weren’t bothered in the slightest and made an awful experience better for me as best they could.

If people judge you for crying and think you’re weak, that really is their problem, not yours.

I would ask if she was alright.

I have been suckered before by crying women, though, (exceptionally good actress with a very long story about missing the last bus). So I'd be a bit reserved and not offer money.

I tend to approach people who are crying, even if I just hand th a tissue it shows some solidarity. After that sometimes people want to talk sometimes not.
It’s only been a few times in my whole life, but I’d like to think if was suffering I wouldn’t be ignored,

You know what, I'm always asking myself that question! I don't know what I would do! The empathetic side of me would be desperate to offer comfort and try and help, the shy side of me would be terrified of being rebuffed, causing the crying person embarrassment or becoming 'involved' in a complex situation that I can't do much about - she's crying because she's been told she's terminally ill etc.

I've only been in that situation once - in the waiting room of A&E earlier this year when my pain was getting out of control. I was really embarrassed and knew everyone was noticing, but at the same time pretty peeved that nobody asked if I was ok.

About 10 years ago I was in the outskirts of town waiting for my dad to come pick me up. I'd walked to the park with the little one I was nannying for when period pain struck big time. I couldn't even make it back to the baby's house so I called his dad who came and picked him up, and then my dad who was 40 minutes drive away. Those 40 minutes felt interminable. I wasn't crying but I was in a massive amount of pain, pretty much just crouched against the wall. About 50% of the people who passed asked if I was ok/needed help, the others looked at me oddly and walked on. I think if you CAN ask, if you're feeling brave enough, you should.

• just read your update, OP. Sending hugs. There are far more of us out there than you'd think. xxx

I've just simply said "Are you okay?"
They either say "yes" in which case I say something like "go carefully" and leave them, or they want to talk, in which case I let them.

I would never think someone weak or pathetic if I saw them crying. It would depend on the circumstances as to whether or not I'd approach but would not think badly of them. I've been there when in grief.