WWYD - Woman crying in the street

[ExhaustedGrinch]

There's a specific reason I have to ask this, will explain in a later post once I've got some answers.

Scenario is this: You're just wandering around town/city and you see a woman crying to herself. She's not wailing or sobbing loudly but just wiping tears away that won't stop falling.

What would you think about a person if you saw them crying in town?

How would you react?

TIA to anyone who answers

I would stop and acknowledge the tears. Offer a shoulder but in the same breath say 'I will leave you alone if you want'. I wouldn't want to add to their upset by forcing them to talk to me.

This was me on the day before my best friends funeral. I walked up and down the very busy high street of the town in which I worked.

I didn't need help. I just couldn't stop crying.

I would respect a persons privacy, but if they made eye contact I would stop and offer assistance.

Therapist suggested I ask people the above questions to see if I was right in thinking people would think it weak and pathetic.

I don't think anyone would find it 'weak and pathetic'!

I can totally empathise with the “what are you crying now for” comment. This was also my childhood. Apparently my mother only said something similar because she said I cried a lot. Irony is, according to her sister, my mother cried at everything as a child. My mother used to stand over me repeatedly saying “go on cry”.

I remember being unable to stop crying at my birthday party. I have no idea why now.... although I hated myself and had done since I was about 4 or 5. I expect I was overwhelmed. Of course no one comforted me. I was about 10 and very embarrassed about the crying and thought everyone must really hate me too. I had no idea what to do and no tools to comfort myself.

My dd cries a fair amount and she’s 10 now. I could never imagine treating her this way and am always there to comfort her. Imo she cries less because I comfort her.

In answer to your question, I would go and comfort the person. Perhaps give them a hug if they seemed like they needed it. That’s what I would like to happen to me. I do feel a bit embarrassed about crying in public. But it is what it is. I leak. I’m further along in my healing than you. It does get better.

I was crying on the tube one evening when I was going through my divorce and had had a particularly bad day. A guy sitting next to me said in a really nice friendly way 'cheer up, is it that bad?' we ended up chit chatting for about 10 minutes till his stop, and I still remember a few kind words of advice from him, and how friendly and kind he was. It made me feel much better.

I would ask them if they were o.k, I would think they were strong as well though because they dont care who sees them (meant in a nice way)

I have found myself crying lately, in the street and in my car outside work. Its shit, but it will pass.

Take care.

Ex and I were once driving home after a night at friends, and saw a lady sitting on the kerb crying. I made ex stop, got out and asked her if she was OK. She said yes, and to leave her alone. I said I would go, but asked if it would help if we gave her a lift anywhere. She got in the car (foolish of her!), and asked to go to a golf club about two miles away. Got out and said she would walk from there. I asked if she wanted me to accompany her, she said no so I left it. I have often wondered what had happened, and hope she is fine.
I certainly didn't judge her as week and pathetic, and was glad to offer the limited practical assistance I could.

I'd leave them to their privacy.

I'd give a sympathetic smile , offer a hankie, and play it by ear.

I would ask if they were ok/ needed any help.
I wouldn't assume they were weak or pathetic at all. I would assume something had happened to upset them i.e grief, a break-up/job, basically life events.
I've cried in the street.

I would think they are going. Through something difficult. I might not ask them if they are ok because I know it would set me off even more if it was me.
But i would hope things would. Get. Easier for them

Fwiw I’ve been doing that recently out of pure exhaustion.

I bitterly regret not stopping to ask someone if they were ok once.A girl who looked like she might be homeless. My excuse was she was walking quickly and is have had to kind of chase after her but that’s no excuse really.I hate to think what had happened to make her so upset and it makes me feel very glad I have people who love me. But I’m ashamed I didn’t check on her

I'd ask them if they were ok or if I could help. I'd be fully prepared to back off if need be. I could never walk past anyone and not do anything on the off chance that they swore at me, and even if they did I'd still ask the next person. Last month I had a woman sobbing on my shoulder, her adult son had just died. (I was at work and am cabin crew, so perhaps more obligation to ask there?).

I'd not judge at all, I've cried myself many times.

I would feel sad for her and probably wonder what happened.

I'd ask if they were OK while keeping a respectful distance in case they didn't really want any attention.

It wouldn't cross my mind for a second that they were weak or pathetic. Anyone who actually thinks like that can have their opinions disregarded as they're an arse of the highest order.

Everyone saying they'd stop and lend a shoulder, ear, etc. what if you were on your way back to work, or to an appointment or to pick up your kids before the nursery closed?

I would approach and ask if there was anything I could do to help. I fact I have done this before. Usually the person does not want anything and has been stood up or something quite mildly upsetting, but you never know.
I have been known to wander about crying in the past, and I would like to think I might care enough to help someone else who was in this position. I went through a terrible phase when I was terrified to go home with good reason- with the result I would wander the streets.

Last week I saw an upset woman backed against a wall in a small town in Holland while I was on holiday, with her boyfriend appearing aggressive, standing about six feet from her & in effect pinning her to the wall with his attitude.

My boyfriend didn't really want to get involved but I couldn't pass by. I asked her in my limited Dutch whether all was well. It wasn't. I linked arms with her & walked her to her car. The two men followed together.

It seemed he had her phone & she had his keys. Soon these were exchanged & she drove off.

Note to self : the Dutch are f-ing huge & WTF was I thinking, marching up to a 6' woman I didn't know & her 6'6" boyfriend, aged 54 & of average British height

Glad I did it & I hope she's okay.

'Everyone saying they'd stop and lend a shoulder, ear, etc. what if you were on your way back to work, or to an appointment or to pick up your kids before the nursery closed?'

yes you can make loads of reasons not to help but there is always SOMETHING you can do even by pointing it to someone else.Or you can be a bit late for work/appointment/ ring the nursery.

Yes, would definitely feel concern rather than anything negative. There wouldn’t be any judgement, just the assumption that the person is human and that something had happened to make them feel upset or a little overcome. Many of us have been there at some point in our lives so it would be be able to empathise.

This was me 2 months ago. I was walking home from the gym and I always stop off in the park and sit on a bench and have a little protein snack and some water while checking my emails. I checked my phone and I had a message that one of my close friends had died (unexpectedly). I sat on that bench for 2 hours with tears running down my face. This was in a busy London park so I'm sure some people must have noticed (although this was the last thing on my mind). No-one spoke to me or even looked at me, as far as I'm aware. I don't know how I would have reacted at the time but with hindsight, it might have helped a little if some kind stranger had spoken to me.

I was once waiting at arrivals at the airport to meet someone from a flight. A really glamorous woman was sat a few seats away, crying her heart out. I had DS with me - I think he was 3.
I asked if she was ok and she said, ‘yes, sorry. Is that your little boy? He’s cute. I’ve got a boy too, he’d be about that age, but I don’t see him now.’
It was the saddest thing ever. That poor woman looked like she had all the money in the world. I’ve always wondered what had happened with her boy.

In answer to OP, I wouldn’t judge. There is so much going on in people’s lives and sometimes it just bubbles up to the surface.

Personally, if i was upset on the street i would absolutely hate to be approached

yes you can make loads of reasons not to help but there is always SOMETHING you can do even by pointing it to someone else.Or you can be a bit late for work/appointment/ ring the nursery.

Right, so in the middle of say, Westminster Bridge or Prince's Street in Edinburgh or outside the train station in Bristol and you're dashing to your zero hours job where you get sacked or your pay docked if you're 'a bit late' or fined by the nursery when you're already on UC or lose your appointment you waited months for you should accost some random to point out that someone's crying in a road thronging with folks if you can't stop and 'help' . Wow, wish I lived in that world.

I witnessed a young woman getting off a bus, all bloodied, stumbling. Because of the one way system I wasn't able to stop or get back to find her. I would have offered to take her home if I could have. So, yes, I would have asked if she was okay.