WWYD - Woman crying in the street

[ExhaustedGrinch]

There's a specific reason I have to ask this, will explain in a later post once I've got some answers.

Scenario is this: You're just wandering around town/city and you see a woman crying to herself. She's not wailing or sobbing loudly but just wiping tears away that won't stop falling.

What would you think about a person if you saw them crying in town?

How would you react?

TIA to anyone who answers

I would always ask if I could do anything to help.

I would hate to think I was upset enough to be crying in the street and that people walked by without offering help.

Woah, more answers than I expected!! Thanks everyone!!

Okay, so I've been going to CBT for various reasons but I often have panic attacks and social anxiety. Alongside this I have bipolar disorder (although I'm thinking this may be a misdiagnosis and that I have autism - getting this checked soon). When out and about I can often feel overwhelmed - too much noise, too many people, there's just too much going on in general and it panics me so sometimes I will start crying out of nowhere

My therapist asks WHY this bothers me specifically. I said it's embarrassing to be crying in public, that people will think I'm odd or weak etc. Although this is not the same judgement I would make about others. I had a pretty neglectful/abusive childhood where crying was seen as an inconvenience and instead of being comforted it was always "Oh for Gods sake what are you crying now for!". Abusive ex partner would goad me and then say, right in my face, "Oh look at you, you're going to cry now, pathetic".

Therapist suggested I ask people the above questions to see if I was right in thinking people would think it weak and pathetic.

I actually stopped and asked a woman if she was alright when I saw her sobbing heartbroken last year. She seemed embarrassed and kept saying no really she was fine. I said was she sure and she said yes, so I left her to it, not much else I could do really.

My colleague who was with me asked wasn't I worried she was a scammer who would mug me or something ?
She was well dressed, professional looking etc. and I live in a pretty low crime area, why in earth would that even occur to me and stop me offering help in broad daylight? Colleague was a bit paranoid in general anyway though.

When I found out my db had terminal cancer (at 34) I was crying my eyes out on the bus. A lady didn’t say anything to me just handed me a tissue. This was six years ago and I still think about it and if anyone starts a thread on random acts of kindness I always remember this one act. It made me feel a little better in a really dark time. I would always do the same to a stranger I saw crying.

I'm like this quite a lot at the moment. My dad died recently and I'm seem to constantly fighting back tears. It's hard not to remember things that upset me, where ever I am. I would possibly ask if she was ok. Possibly I wouldn't say anything as I wouldn't want to pry.

I would ask if she needed help. I have been in that position once and someone was kind to me.

Not weak at all.

I think it helps just to be asked.
and a hug for you grinch, battling through your demons like you are is far from weak and pathetic, the exact opposite in fact. x

I'd go and check she was ok.

My friend and I still remember an incident 20 years ago now, when my friend had broken up with her boyfriend. She cried the entire bus journey home. When we got off the bus a lass from another school (one our school didn't 'get on' with) came over to check my friend was ok. It was a lovely thing to do. On the other hand I walked for half an hour through a city crying, and no-one stopped to check I was ok. It would have meant the world to me if someone had.

I said it's embarrassing to be crying in public, that people will think I'm odd or weak etc. Although this is not the same judgement I would make about others. I had a pretty neglectful/abusive childhood where crying was seen as an inconvenience and instead of being comforted it was always "Oh for Gods sake what are you crying now for!". Abusive ex partner would goad me and then say, right in my face, "Oh look at you, you're going to cry now, pathetic".

Fellow autistic lady over here! (Also been misdiagnosed in the past!) I could have written your post! You know what though, crying isn’t embarrassing or weak or pathetic and if someone is looking at you and thinking any of those things then they are a shitty person lacking basic human compassion . The majority of people are kind hearted

There is no way I would think you were weak, if I saw you, I'd simply assume you were hurting in some way and desperately want to make things better for you. I'd hope I wasn't the first person to offer you comfort.

Although on one occasion I stopped to ask a young lad if he was okay and felt like an idiot afterwards, it was in London waiting on a train platform. He was on a bench with his head in hands looking forlorn. I had an internal battle before I approached and asked if he was alright and he looked up at me like I was mad and said "just fuckin bored of waiting on this train bruv!"

In all seriousness I think the world would be a happier place if people were less afraid to reach out to people.

I used to cry with depression in the street. Kind folk who approached me and asked "Are you alright?" got an angry response of "No! I'm NOT alright"

OP, after reading your update I hope you feel more heartened about your question and know that no one would judge you, it would be kindness and concern that brings interaction, and most people that walk on by and notice will probably be thinking "gosh I hope she's OK"
Like many others I would either be that person, if I'm in a rush, or offer you a tissue and ask if there is anything you need.

I too would offer a tissue (usually have one) or if I did t I’d gently ask if ok, I hope she is ok

I’d ask if she was alright, yes

I cried in a cafe after my mum died. I turned my head so that the young man (about 30) on the next table wouldn’t see. He leant over and said quite loudly, ‘I like your boots’, so I turned to look at him. Then he said, ‘We all leak sometimes.’

I felt better.

It's happened to me and I went over to help her. Her boyfriend was in casualty and she couldn't find the hospital. I took her there and talked to the receptionist for her because she couldn't speak. Then I waited with her until she was with him.

Sorry, I didn’t see your update. I would only worry if they (you) were ok. I’d hate to think of someone being upset and no one asking them if there was anything that could be done to help.

I'd if you where ok and hand you a tissue. I wouldn't ever think you are weak - I'd think you had some bad news or life was just shit at the mo.

I'd assume she was upset. I'd ask if there was anything I could do to help.

I would check out my own safety first to be honest before I would approach her. Eg how public the place is. Is anyone around. Does she look like she has anything in her hand, does she look like she has been drugs or alcohol . It sounds a lot but takes seconds to do a quick visual before deciding to approach or not.
My safety is put first.

zzzzzzzx I'm so sorry for your sad news

EllebellyBeeblebrox Thank you. It's a more difficult process than I anticipated but I'm hopeful that it will be worth it in the long run. Love your comment about the young lad - it's totally something I would do!!

Thanks again to everyone for responding. Genuinely reassuring to know I'm not alone and that other people would be thinking more along the lines of concern rather than being judgemental.

I wouldn't think you're weak and pathetic. I'd think you were having a hard time and would hope you're ok.

But to be honest I probably wouldn't approach you or speak to you, because I've had panic attacks/been in tears in public and would really hate to be approached or noticed, I've wished I was invisible and tried to get away without anyone speaking to me.

I have seen a woman crying quietly like this. I nicked a move from The Color Purple and quietly indicted to her to keep her chin up, gave her (what I hope) was an empthatic smile and moved on. Mainly because this is how I would like someone to treat me if they saw me.