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Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

999 replies

Oldbutstillgotit · 16/06/2019 09:43

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

OP posts:
PopWentTheWeasel · 18/06/2019 12:39

I still expect they'll try and follow you out of the airport and to share a taxi or cause a scene at the airport. please let the villa have wifi so the OP can update on arrival

fedup21 · 18/06/2019 12:50

Presumably she’s sitting next to you three on the plane??

OrdinarySnowflake · 18/06/2019 13:12

I agree to just send Carol a message saying that as she and Dick are getting their own accomodation, Anne has changed the villa to a smaller one, and you'll let her know roughly where you are when you are away if she fancies meeting up for a girls lunch, if her anxity isn't so bad she can leave him for the day.

Make it clear that they do actually need to sort accomodation.

You dont need to change the name on the ticket or make any more drama, spell it out so everyone can be grown up. (Obviously leaving it open to drama would be more fun for us to read, but not for you/Anne/Barbara to live it).

(And no, they won't be sat together on the flight as you don't tend to book your seats until online check in)

EdtheBear · 18/06/2019 13:32

I'd tell them that the accommodation has been reduced in size, so they know to book somewhere. But I'd not mention the location change. Then there's no lying no snooping.

I fear if they know the location they will try to book in the same area and come coooeeeeing.

IAteTheLastOne · 18/06/2019 13:38

Please do an update when you get back from your lovely holiday!

yetto69 · 18/06/2019 13:59

What are you guys going to do about spending time with her during the holiday or has she been excluded completely?

AnneTwackie · 18/06/2019 14:03

Oh I hope you have a lovely time, I feel sorry for Carol, she’s missing out. Remember ‘No’ is a complete sentence.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/06/2019 14:24

I agree with letting Carol know that the accommodation has been downsized to only take the 3 of you now, since she won't be joining you but will be with Dick instead.
I also agree with NOT telling her the location of the new accommodation.

Changing anything to do with the flight/ticket would be costly and totally unproductive, as tickets need to have the same name as in the passport, or they won't be valid. Anne shouldn't have to pay out any more on Carol either!

But it does, 100% need to be made clear to Carol that neither she nor Dick will be at all able to stay with the 3 of you now. Not a chance, not a sofa, not a pull out or blow up bed - nothing. No Space. She must understand that so she has the choice to either prebook somewhere OR waste the ticket and not bother.

LLOE7 · 18/06/2019 14:29

I feel so sad for your friend, that they tried to take advantage of her generosity. I hope you all have a lovely holiday without the CF's Thanks

Donneytrumpgal · 18/06/2019 14:50

So has Anne sent the email to Carol and Dick yet?

Bluerussian · 18/06/2019 14:55

Corblimeygovernor, if what you say about Carol is correct, that she has anxiety and needs her husband around, it would have been better for her to refuse the holiday invitation. It's just too ridiculous to think it's OK for her husband to muscle in and I am, frankly, surprised he has tried to.

forumdonkey · 18/06/2019 15:12

I can't believe the CF's. Unfuckingbeliveable!!

I think like the poster who said that Dick has probably planned to play golf all day and leave Carol during the day is correct. You ladies sound great and Ann a more than kind and generous friend. Leave them to it and enjoy every minute 🍹

You'll have a blast ladies and do keep us updated. I suspect this won't be the end of their Cf'ery.

NarcissistMum · 18/06/2019 15:13

I hope you all have a good holiday away from those two selfish nobs.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 18/06/2019 15:36

Just when you think you've read the CF thread to end all CF threads ... we get Carol and Dick! What a pair of chancers.

OP I hope you, Anne and Barbara have a fantabulous holiday with not a single sighting of Dickless and Cheeky Carol!

Tinkerbell1980 · 18/06/2019 16:51

Poor Anne, she sounds like a lovely friend, I'm glad she has you and Barbara to stick up for her and give her a good holiday.

I'm now looking forward to your holiday more than my own!!Blush

BeansandRice · 18/06/2019 17:32

glad to say that Anne is much cheerier

That's good to hear.

Dexterslockedintheshedagain · 18/06/2019 17:36

Sorry, I’m another one too invested in the thread! My gob is well and truly smacked at their behaviour!
Have a lovely (dick free 🤞🏻) holiday- and please please please update us when you get home!

Tistheseason17 · 18/06/2019 17:40

Well done to you and Anne, OP!
I suspect she is just a CF like her husband - she was able to accuse you all of bullying! Not a shy and retiring wallflower. The last minute telling you was to force her DH to come. Looking forward to future updates!

GreenTulips · 18/06/2019 17:57

Have a lovely (dick free 🤞🏻)

Lol

prettybird · 18/06/2019 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cuddlysnowleopard · 18/06/2019 18:07

That was quick - you beat BBC newsflash

prettybird · 18/06/2019 18:07

Sorry - I've reported my post as it was the wrong thread Blush

Cuddlysnowleopard · 18/06/2019 18:14
Grin Handy, though. I was only browsing here whilst waiting for the results to be announced!
winterisstillcoming · 18/06/2019 18:37

May suggest that carol pays and changes the booking so she can come for a few days, if that reduces her anxiety.

flowergrrl77 · 18/06/2019 18:38

Can’t wait to hear the response from that email! GL to Anne!

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