Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

[Oldbutstillgotit]

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

What CFers they are!

Hope you all have a lovely relaxing holiday! Buy some mirrored sunglasses and pretend you don’t see them

Carol & Dick are outrageous CFs!

PP is right that if you are all on the same booking, you will all have to check in together (online or in person) so unless the booing is changed, it won't be possible to avoid them entirely.

I'm staggered that Dick and Carol appear to have viewed this as a 'free holiday' for them, and not a girl's holiday for Anne who was hosting as a thank you for her girlfriends' support recently. Staggered.

CFs

I hope you have a great time without Dick!

If all 4 flights were booked by Anne, including the option to select seats, then when she books in, she can make sure that Carol's seat is at the other end of the plane to the 3 of you

She can then forward the boarding pass to Carol to print out for her own use

Then the 3 of you can make sure to get to the airport nice and early before Carol and Dick are likely to get there and enjoy the comforts of the executive lounge you've booked into

I am flabbergasted! Flabbergasted! Imagine someone taking you on a free holiday and behaving like this! Unbelievable!

Oh I’m so annoyed on your behalf!

Well done for being brilliant friends to Anne.
Well done Anne for being the bigger person for letting Carol keep her flights and making alternative arrangements so you don't have to have CF on your break.
Carol and Dick are just truly awful, dreadful CF. Personally, I don't think you have any need to tell them that you have changed your accommodation, they are not part of your travelling party.
I genuinely hope you have a lovely break x

I agree with prettybird I would pre book your three seats at one end of plane and Carols at the other (in between two randomers so she can't sit with Dick)

There’s a bit of hysteria about C and D forcing themselves into taxis and villas.
Don’t tell them of villa change then they won’t ‘force themselves into your taxi’ or try to follow it.
A told C she was welcome to the flight so let C and D use their flights. If they don’t book somewhere to stay it’s all on them.
Don’t worry about the flight or meeting them while there. You’re all adults and if you don’t want to spend time with someone then a polite ‘no thanks, we’d rather eat/drink/travel on our own’ will suffice.
Enjoy yourself and don’t think about C and D at all.

I hope you sit down on the first night of your holiday, with a glass of rose and share this thread between you 😀

for Ann

Anne sounds lovely and I hope she has a brilliant time. Love to think of Dick and Carol trailing around with their luggage looking for somewhere to stay. She has bigger problems if she can't go away without her husband.

so glad you stuck together on this.so often we are all shouting on these trheads to do something about these cf and people always back down.today you showed that shitty behaviour will not trump good kind friendship.
dont back down.you are doing the right thing.
i dont know what ann what through but you all sound like a great team.so glad you have eachother.
have the greatest time.no guilt.just fun and friendship.

I don't think that carol is ridiculous. She obviously has real anxieties. These can be crippling and I personally would find it very hard to go away without my husband. Acrophobia, panic attacks and flying can be so stressful. I sorely wish that this was not the case.

However, I think that the ladies should do their best to understand her anxieties and try to allay them. They should see what they could do to help accommodate them without her husband joining them.

They could suggest that perhaps he stay elsewhere or that they both do and then meet up with you for lunches etc. He shouldn't be allowed to stay at the villa or gatecrash the holiday. I doubt that carol actually wants him there either. She wants to be able to enjoy her girls holiday too, but she is panicking as the holiday gets closer. She's not meaning to be cheeky, she's probably quite distressed. I would offer her lots of reassurance but try to stand firm.

Jesus wept, read the full thread...

I hope the three of you have a wonderful time!

I think Carol has joined the thread

She's not meaning to be cheeky,

So why did she suggest she and husband had the best bedroom when they weren't paying anything?

She's a CF

@CorBlimeyGovenor - the husband was definitely being cheeky, boasting in the pub about the free holiday. And Carol is by not listening to her friends and refusing to accept their point. Anne is paying. If Carol's anxiety is really bad, she should simply have said she couldn't face going, and cancelled. Not force her friends to have her husband along.

I think Carol has joined the thread

Just caught up, nothing more to add that hasn’t already been said..I am . Hopefully Anne can check in online and pick a seat for carol elsewhere in the plane. I’m sure you’ll all have a great time

CorBlimey absolutely not!

@Oldbutstillgotit
How’s Dick?

I bet you a crate of Prosecco Mr Carole would rather throw himself into the nearest canal than go holiday with you lot anyway! Leave old Clingy Carole at home and show Anne the time of her life!