Are you ALWAYS available if school calls?

[m0therofdragons]

School secretary has been on the phone with a question about dd (age 7). Nothing major but she was really rude because she called both dh and I on our mobiles and my work phone which my manager answered and took a message.

Dh and I both happened to be in meetings.

We both called the school back about 25 minutes after they initially called. The third contact wasn't tried.

Usually I'm contactable. Her argument was I didn't know what the call was about and it could have been an emergency. My meeting was in a&e as I'm hospital management so if dd was being ambulanced in I'm in the right place but occasionally I have to go to other hospitals for meetings which could take me up to an hour and a half away. Less than once a month.

Do all other working parents work within 5 minutes of school and have their mobile on at all times?

I would just tell them to phone Social Services.
And I might mention that threatening parents with Social Services is against safeguarding good practice.
But seriously if they rang SS, SS would be eye rolling and do nothing. Because the school having to look after a sick kid for longer than they want to, during school hours is NOT a safeguarding issue.

I teach and we aren't allow our phones on us. My phones in a locked cupboard and not quickly accessible. I do have a smart watch so technically I would know they'd called, but couldn't easily answer or call back. I can't just leave class unless it was an emergency. So if they called me at the start of morning class, for example, I wouldn't have chance to call back until well over an hour later. A message left with reception would be brought to me but they'd ask if it was an emergency stand if not, it's not be that quick.

Dh is mainly office based but has client meetings at the office but also elsewhere. In client meetings he doesn't have his phone on.

When I worked in a prison I didn't have mobile access all day, and wasn't in the office much so it would be much harder to get hold of me.

We have alternative contacts on their records but they've never used them.

Oh FGS how often are they likely to call?
Its not rocket science that parents could be at the pool,gym,work, supermarket et

I think I had to collect my DD once and never had to collect my DS for the whole of primary school.
I appreciate that if DC have medical conditions it might be different.

The poster saying her school insists you have to be 10 minutes away at all times as a condition of entry is just making it up.

If school ever rang the contacts in the order they have been given them we wouldn’t have a problem. Childminder is 10 minutes walk away and DH works 10 minutes drive away and has a secretary (they have her number!). But no, they ring me first and then are surprised that I’m an hour away at work and slightly unamused that they haven’t tried contacts 1 or 2 before calling me on autopilot. I don’t carry my mobile around at work...I don’t need it.

Yes I’m 100% contactable at all times.

When DD was at primary I could be at the school within 5 mins.

Now she’s at secondary I can be there within 20ish mins.

If for any reason I’m further away, my parents are almost always available if needed.

jacques to be fair, you won’t be contactable 100% of the time. You could be in the shower, the gym, at a doctors/hospital appointment, or simply miss the call.

And I don’t imagine you were in your house during school hours every single day.

I'm so glad that I no longer have primary school age children, where this bullshit is at its worst.

My youngest DD is almost 17 now. She goes to a grammar school 20 miles away now. I've been called to collect her once, but fortunately her school have to be realistic as few of the students live locally. Not a chance I could be there within 5 minutes. DH and I both work too.

I think that some schools, particularly primary schools, are much more idealistic than realistic. They have an ideal scenario, but don't appreciate that it often isn't possible for most people.

Nicknacky well I’m so glad you know my situation better than me....

to be fair, you won’t be contactable 100% of the time. You could be in the shower, the gym, at a doctors/hospital appointment, or simply miss the call

Shower when I got up whilst DD was still at home. Don’t attend the gym. Everywhere else I have my phone with me, on loud, at all times.

And I don’t imagine you were in your house during school hours every single day

Well I work from home so.....

Our school has a matron and we sign a form saying if we are not contactable that she can act for us. There is also a second emergency number. After all you could be in the shower or in an area where there’s no phone signal. And mobiles are a new thing - what did the do when it was just a landline and people were out? I’m sure they’d cope.

jacques So you never go to the loo or answer the door and might miss a call? Wow, you are great!

If you take a phone to the loo in case the school calls then I think that’s extreme.

So you never go to the loo or answer the door and might miss a call? Wow, you are great!

I mean what it takes 20 seconds to go to the loo. Or answer the door.

If you take a phone to the loo in case the school calls then I think that’s extreme

You’ve clearly got a bee in your bonnet about it so carry on.

But if it helps in 9 years of prep and a year of secondary I haven’t missed a call in any of the various scenarios you’re describing.

It’s just a fact

No bee in my bonnet at all, but I think it’s unrealistic to predict you are available 100% of the time.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to admit you might, just might, miss a call.

Secondary is much easier . I had just put 2 children to bed for afternoon nap when school phoned and Ds was feeling sick . So he walked home and I called to let him know he arrived. Obviously depends where you live but my Ds can walk back from school.

No bee in my bonnet at all, but I think it’s unrealistic to predict you are available 100% of the time

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to admit you might, just might, miss a call

Well I tell you what, if there’s a change in the next few years from the last 10 I’ll let you know! But realistically, the whole reason my decisions have been made is to ensure full availability so it’s not that hard to believe given it’s all been planned to that effect.

I find it hard to believe anyone who says they are contactable 100%of the time. Even when I was an SAHM I had hospital and doctor's appointments due to medical conditions, or could be in the supermarket etc. I certainly didn't wait in attached to my phone at all times on the off-chance that the school just might call. Fuck that.

Life happens. Even teachers are admitting that they cannot stop everything at the drop of a hat and be at their children's schools in minutes. But some schools still expect working parents to be able to do so.

There is a double standard there, as many teachers are also working parents. My parents were teachers. If one of us needed to be collected from school they would come as soon as possible, but it often wouldn't be for quite a while. No mobiles in those days, and in many schools the only landline phones were in the school secretary's and headmaster's offices. They coped.

Even when I was an SAHM I had hospital and doctor's appointments due to medical conditions

To be honest I rarely need to see the doctor. When I do, my phone is with me. When I broke my leg, my phone was always with me so I would still have been contactable and been able to delegate someone to collect DD if necessary.

or could be in the supermarket etc

5 mins away from school so no issue.

I certainly didn't wait in attached to my phone at all times on the off-chance that the school just might call. Fuck that

No. Neither did I.

I mean, it might not be your experience. But it’s just as valid!

There may be some instances where it is a good idea for a parent or carer to be always available, but for most people it is utterly unrealistic. There are so many jobs that couldn't support this. And in most circumstances, it is totally unnecessary. I would expect a school to be able to deal with being responsible for children.

My phone was with me at hospital appointments. On silent as required by the clinic, and the hospital is at least 20 miles from the school. So even if I was aware of a call, it would be of limited use as I simply couldn't get there. Supermarket is 7 miles from here. No signal once inside it either.

It wasn't much of a problem most of the time, but delays could and did occur. Still do, as DD is now at school 20 miles away and I am back at work.

I'm rarely contactable, especially because school keep trying my mobile first and there's no reception at work. They're supposed to call DP first, as he practically always has his mobile and works from home half the time, but for some reason keep calling me...

Half the hospitals I go into you have no signal anyway!

Dc1's school have very specific details for contacting me I.e. dont ring my mobile number as I work around a rural county, mobile signal is non existent, ring the switchboard and fgs dont ask for Mrs June as I use my maiden name at work. If its non urgent then please email me instead.

Of course they didn't listen when they tried to get hold of me once for a routine matter. Cue a load of ratty voicemail messages that were totally unnecessary

She’s obviously being ridiculously unreasonable. No-one is ALWAYS available.

If it had been an emergency she should have told your manager it was an emergency and the message would have been passed to you.

No - my office has mobile signal but some parts of my department don't (basement). DH doesn't always take his phone with him when he is out of the office. Hasn't been a problem so far, and not too many years to go ( kids are year 10 and year 11). We've only once been called to pick up in an emergency ( dd1 sick all over desk in year 2) and I think DH happened to be home that day. I've had a couple of calls to inform me of incidents (primary school minor bump to head type thing) where I was out of the office and had to call them back, but this wasn't a problem. I don't think secondary school have ever called.