Are you ALWAYS available if school calls?

[m0therofdragons]

School secretary has been on the phone with a question about dd (age 7). Nothing major but she was really rude because she called both dh and I on our mobiles and my work phone which my manager answered and took a message.

Dh and I both happened to be in meetings.

We both called the school back about 25 minutes after they initially called. The third contact wasn't tried.

Usually I'm contactable. Her argument was I didn't know what the call was about and it could have been an emergency. My meeting was in a&e as I'm hospital management so if dd was being ambulanced in I'm in the right place but occasionally I have to go to other hospitals for meetings which could take me up to an hour and a half away. Less than once a month.

Do all other working parents work within 5 minutes of school and have their mobile on at all times?

I couldn't get to a school within 40 mins (work in London and the train journey takes 40 mins alone).

Although I can take calls in the office, if I'm in Parliament I couldn't answer it, and they lock us officials in the box for divisions so even if I wanted to leave I might have to wait .

DH might be closer as he often wfh but he also travels a lot and is sometimes several hours away.

Grandmothers are also contacts but they don't drive so would need to get a taxi.

Don't worry op - I don't know any parents who are always available.

Youngandfree
Where are all the teachers “locking away” their phones?? My bag stays with me all day

I keep mine in my bag and then put my bag in the stock cupboard if there is one.

Where are all the teachers “locking away” their phones?? My bag stays with me all day

If I kept my bag with me all day, it may well be stolen-pupils have done it before.

motherofdragons -you rock as a parent. I think we all need to be mindful that parents, even stay at home parents, don’t just sit around and wait for a call from school every day. Life gets in the way and that’s ok. We all have roles and jobs that help society function and shouldn’t judge others. And our kids will still grow up to be pretty damn awesome people.

Where are all the teachers “locking away” their phones?? My bag stays with me all day
Mine gets locked in the top drawer of my desk or so with me in my bag.

Friends of mine in primary and early years aren't allowed any personal belongings anywhere near them and they have to be locked in lockers in the stafftoom. Some places are very over the top.

God no. I used to be a SAHM and even then I wasn't contactable all the time. Once I went for a leisurely swim and forgot my mobile phone. Arrived home to find my MIL and a sicky DD - she is our emergency contact and school had been trying to get me but couldn't. Because I was out enjoying myself. 😁

You weren't allowed to join my dd school unless you had someone who could collect within 10 mins

By chance I'm with three teacher friends tonight and they've all said they'd be mortified if a parent was made to feel bad for being at work and unable to answer the phone sometimes - it's real life and they get it. I'm so sorry to the mums here who have gone home and cried after being made to feel shit when this has happened - women really can't fucking win can we. Damned if we do damned if we don't.

I'd be interested to see the comparison of how often mums are called first before dads where they are both listed as contacts. I'd imagine mums are still judged more harshly than dads for being unavailable during work hours. Yet most couples I know actually have a higher earning female partner - sometimes it just feels like we still have to be everything to everyone.

They have also all just said the 10 minutes rule above is not something that would ever be suggested by a school and if by some miracle it was, is utterly unenforceable anyway.

To all you mums and dads - I haven't got my own little ones yet but I take my hat off to all of you. I honestly don't know how you do it, or sometimes how I will!

I only have myself to worry about at the moment and usually I feel exhausted, run down and like I have something extra to prove in the workplace because I'm a woman - I'm in awe of anyone who integrates parenting into the modern day mix so please know lots of people think you're fucking amazing!

regan I wouldn’t give the school my work number as I’m unlikely to always be in the office therefore they have my mobile and I answer if I can.

If I can’t answer, then I can’t answer. And hopefully h can.

I work in an operating theatre so cannot have y phone on me. My DCs school will ring the main number where I work if it is urgent and a message can be brought to me.
OP, she was being unreasonable.

I must work in a very relaxed school so 😂 I admit I lock the classroom door at break times but that’s it. My bag hangs on the bag of my chair 🤣🤣

I am - I live 5 mins from school and WFH - but most parents are not! Receptionist was rude.

grumiosmum - There's obviously a good reason why the school secretary has such a lowly job.
What a very offensive comment. As a school secretary, I hope I don't work in your child's school and that you think so little of me and the job I do. I might not save lives, or change the world, but thankfully I know I am appreciated by the people who really know what a challenging job it is.

Yes I was there but that was because I was a SAHM and lived across the road with 2 sets of grandparents less than 5 mins walk away. But not everyone is in that position and it would be very unrealistic and unreasonable of school to expect every parent/grandparent to be there in a flash.

My DD for example is absolutely not allowed phone calls at work so I am nominated back-up. I think as long as the school has someone they can contact in an emergency then that is ok.

DH, who works from home, is the primary phone contact. But he travels abroad several times a year and then I do have my phone with me all the time. During meetings I have it on silent and vibrate.

I'm a teacher...nursery try me first then my parents or sister who they know does pick up and drop if it's not me...they have my school number too in an emergency but recognise that they have a list of contacts for a reason!

The one time I missed a call (in a meeting in a room with no signal), the school ignored the number I had left with the specific extension for my department and instead asked the main switchboard for "X's mum".

Had they at least managed to say the extension and be transferred to my department, the receptionist there would have known who they meant but the switchboard for a company with 10,000 plus employees understandably did not.

Similarly to PP they then tried Mrs notmylastname but as it's a common name (eg Mrs Thompson) it didn't work either.

They did ring the second emergency contact next, who duly managed to contact me by ringing the correct extension and asking for me by my actual name.

And by Mrs Thompson, I mean I was told they asked literally for "Mrs Thompson", not "Mrs Nils Thompson" so even if it had been my last name chances are there still would have been a few of them within the company.

Lol at the “10 minute” rubbish. Even on my days off when I am at home I probably couldn’t get there in 10 minutes. It’s over a mile to walk and to go in the car would take longer due to the traffic at the supermarket between us and the school. I could go by bike and get there in less than 10 minutes but I’m not sure Vomiting Veronica would be up to cycling home.

Also - even if I could put a siren on the car and get past the traffic - what happens if I need a poo?!? Sometimes that sort of malarkey means that it could be 4 or 5 precious minutes before I even realise there has been a call! Or did she have to take the phone into the loo with her? Surely the receptionist who can’t deal with vomit is not going to like the ploppy noises either.

Also - wasn’t all this before mobiles! Did she just not leave the house for 7 years during school hours?!?!

Most of the time yes. I have my mobile on my desk at work (on vibrate) and I take into meetings (on silent). Its mostly internal meetings and I'd be fine to slip out and take an important call.

I do feel uncomfortable if ever I'm somewhere without reception, during the school day

I hope you said that you hoped that if there was an emergency they'd deal it appropriately and not wait for you.

Mine older now, but both dh and I work 90 mins from school, so not much we could do anyway other than meet child at hospital if necessary (did that once, office staff accompanied child in ambulance).

@romanyqueen most time 3rd contact would pick up as local but if they were on holiday or hospital appointment school would have to wait if couldn't swap out.

Surgery for a very ill person took priority over a child with a temp at reception.

I used to work in an airport and phones have to be in locker in staff room. I'm beyond security so totally unreachable unless massive emergency, in which case they'd have to call main switchboard and have me tracked down via radio. What a bout Surgeons/Pilots/Cabin Crew etc?

Maybe they have a lot of SAHPs at that school and wrongly presumed you were one of them?

I can't pick up my phone. I'm a therapist and see 6 clients a day so generally only pick up messages. Totally unrealistic to be expected to always pick up the phone or suddenly be available. Last time DD was unwell at school she had to sit and wait for me for about 1 hour. We do have an alternative emergency contact.

When I was working, the school switchboard was my emergency contact point. I got pulled out once during a twighlight INSET for nursery. DH tended to be the better bet if he was office based that day as he was closer, had access to his mobile and didn't need to have cover arranged for him to be able to leave. My school wasn't far away, but I obviously couldn't spontaneously walk out and abandon my classes. If DH is out on site, he might be in any part of the UK or possibly another country.

We have no external emergency contacts. DM works FT and is 200+ miles away. MiL is in another country. There is no accessible local family. All our friends work. Our octogenarian neighbours barely know our DCs and it would be completely unreasonable to dump sick children on them. At the point I was still working, I didn't know other local families because of the job stopping me ever getting near them when I had the last child to be picked up each day. Professional working families who have settled near work/ study opportunities can be very socially isolated.

I'm a SAHM now. If I'm caught on the landline, I can be at school in 5 minutes and have done so a few times.
I go out running. I was once caught by nursery when in the final 10 mins of a 10 mile run. It's possible that I could be an hour away on foot if I was caught at the wrong moment on a long run. Even at the supermarket, I'm probably 30 minutes away to be able to get to a till, get through and drive home.

I'm not spending 8 years of my life under house arrest 30 hours a week incase my healthy child randomly becomes ill. If they were the OK side of ropey when they went in, then I'm happier to make myself more avaliable as the chance of contact is higher.

I have a friend whose school rang the first named contact on their DC's list, got her DH and when they realised that they'd reached The Man said "oh, sorry, don't worry, we'll call child's-mum" and hung up. He worked 10 minutes away from the school, she commutes into London 🙄.

We live in London, so our local school has a tiny catchment and our commutes are about 45minutes -1hr each (and I travel around a reasonable amount for work). 10 minutes is not even remotely possible - we just do our best.

Years ago. I spent my lunchtime being bled upon from a head wound from a pupil in a rural school. The ambulance took 30 minutes to get there with the benefit of blue lights.
I seem to recall a member of staff being sent off with the pupil.
It was 5-10 minutes from the main buildings to the pitches for the first aider on duty to get to us!