Are you ALWAYS available if school calls?

[m0therofdragons]

School secretary has been on the phone with a question about dd (age 7). Nothing major but she was really rude because she called both dh and I on our mobiles and my work phone which my manager answered and took a message.

Dh and I both happened to be in meetings.

We both called the school back about 25 minutes after they initially called. The third contact wasn't tried.

Usually I'm contactable. Her argument was I didn't know what the call was about and it could have been an emergency. My meeting was in a&e as I'm hospital management so if dd was being ambulanced in I'm in the right place but occasionally I have to go to other hospitals for meetings which could take me up to an hour and a half away. Less than once a month.

Do all other working parents work within 5 minutes of school and have their mobile on at all times?

But I know it's the school secretary's job to make these calls. She was doing Her job.

cantfindaname’I remember being poorly in primary and the secretary calling my mum- my 18month old sister answered and babbled constantly before putting the phone down. This went on for ages 🤣 and yes I wondered why she was unsupervised too, but hey, it was the 80s 😭

My sahm then had a 20 minute walk
To the school with a toddler since 2 car families weren’t so common then and dad took it to work

I am a teacher and never look at my phone from about 7.30 to 3.30 (if I remember!). DH also a teacher. They do know this at DSs' school and have emailed my work address in more urgent cases. The receptionist was unreasonable and rude to you.

I have no other contacts.

In an emergency, they have my school's switchboard number.

Mostly but honestly we are both in care services. Now I'm a higher level consultant which means 90 % of the time I'm able to answer but there are several circumstances where we simply can't, if a resident is ill or there is an emergency we will both be a port of call. I can hardly tell a fallen resident who is distressed and upset or worse I need to answer the school.

Also if we are in inspection (which in my role is more often than average but still only four or five times a year )then I can't have my phone in. We have a three line call if myself ,or dp or Exdh (granted he doesn't know where the school is but could figure it out in a real emergency) all don't answer within 30 minutes then granted something has gone horribly wrong.
However in theory it could happen.

Life is life ...in reality if I saw my phone go a couple of times and it's the school I wpuld find a way , I usually have it near me but can't always answer.

However I take issue with our school as a secretary was particularly rude as I didn't personally answer (I'd actually been able to surreptitiously in code warn DP as he works with me and he had called back to be met with short shrift) , he then got in the car for something so couldn't tell me what happened other than to give me a thumbs up through a window to say ds1 was ok.

I rang the school when I could and the Secretary actually used the phrase "we would rather expect his mother to answer her phone"

It wasn't serious or an emergency and yes I did complain. I was unimpressed that she felt she could say that as if a working mother who had two levels of backup was letting her child down.

I also then went home and cried because I felt like a shit mother.

I really hate the vile women in that office.

No - as a teacher I am not allowed my phone in class or around the pupils. Unless the school say it is an emergency I will just get an email to say the school called, which I will pick up when I get to check my emails.
If it was an emergency admin would come and tell me and I'd call back as soon as I could

Surely the further away you are, the more vital it is you answer first time. Or at least the school can get hold of someone who will answer.

Why? The world will not end. School can (and will) leave a message and I will get in contact as soon as I can. Parents generally don’t not respond on purpose (and if they are they are dicks).

Well said cantfindname. Exactly.

the 'anna's mum, please' would go down like a lead balloon at the switchboard of my office...

I'm not. I'm a primary teacher and I have to have my phone locked in my cupboard and only use it in the staff room at lunch. School would have to call the office and then someone would pass the message on ASAP. DH is a 9-5er but works very solo so his diary/phone is managed as he likes. He would be able to answer if he wasn't already on the phone or in a meeting. That could be up to a couple of hours delay.

She was extremely rude.

The secretary at my kids school always leaves a message which starts with “ don’t worry it’s not an emergency. But C has forgotten his PE kit and is asking if you could bring it round if you are not at work . Don’t worry if you can’t, we will lend him some “.

This is good for me because if I get a message that says “ please call it’s urgent” I know it really is.

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.

I am often in meetings and uncontactable (although I'd probably see a text). DH is often working abroad.

If the school could not contact either of us in an emergency, I'd expect them to do what they need to do (call ambulance or whatever) and leave message so that I could deal with it when I was able to.

I work in operating theatres so I often can’t answer the phone. If they really needed me in an emergency they can phone hospital switchboard and then let the theatre co ordinator know, who can come and tell me. They did it the other day as my son hadn’t eaten his lunch, 6 missed calls and then co ordinator. I was very angry.

Definitely not. I’m a teacher and we’re not really supposed to have our mobiles on. In an emergency our school office would get a message to me, but I wouldn’t necessarily be able to speak to them straight away. If it was non-urgent then it would have to wait until break/lunch/after school/after meetings.

I have always worked within thirty to forty minutes of school.

I have only collected DS a few times, but on one memorable occasion I was in a meeting and missed the call, I then left the office and collected him.

The school secretary was snooty to say the least and said we called you thirty five minutes ago. To which I replied if I worked in the city I would still be on a train. I would like to make an appointment to see the Headmaster please.

She then tried to backtrack, not a chance.

I wasn't the only one she was vile to, and eventually she was managed out and ended up on the tills in Waitrose.

We both work an hour away from the school. Most children will have at least one parent who does (we are in the London commuter belt and that's the time it takes to get into central London). My phone will often be left on my desk if I'm in a meeting, or completely off if I'm in court or on a plane.

We have a nanny who does the school run who could probably get there quicker. But she could be out and about with the baby she looks after during the school day.

The ten minute rule is ridiculous (if real) and discriminatory against working parents.

There's obviously a good reason why the school secretary has such a lowly job.

If we can’t get hold of a parent, I will send a text message via out School portal. I’m not impressed when parent decides to turn up 3 hours later though I know what the most of the parents do for a living off the top of my head as well as looking at the system.

You weren't allowed to join my dd school unless you had someone who could collect within 10 mins

This is one of my favourite pointless lies I've ever seen on MN.

You're definitely not a bad mother! My job is very flexible but I work ft and am in and out of meetings most days. I check my phone when I can. My dh is a scientist and is often in a lab with no phone. If an emergency arises I expect school to take appropriate measures. I did miss a call a while back where dc 'felt sick'. It was about 45 mins by the time I picked up voicemail and when I called dc was happily back in class and no need for me to come!

Regan, it isn’t about prioritising, it’s about what is possible. I guarantee you will need/have needed the services of at least some of us who can’t immediately be available to ‘prioritise’. You are lucky, but if your job didn’t have that flexibility, you wouldn’t have any choice. Most of us prioritise our children, we just can’t necessarily be available at the drop of a hat. I’m sure our kids will survive at that.

And OP, definitely not a bad mum!

I'm a SAHM, would be unlikely I'd miss the phone call but hit and miss as to whether I'd be 5 minutes away or not!

With DP it would probably be 50/50 whether he'd be able to answer or not and pretty much impossible that he'd be any where near 5 minutes away which is why MIL is 2nd contact.

She's more likely to pick up and far more likely to be close by so it just makes more sense.

I'm also a teacher so my phone is locked away during work hours but, unless I was in a meeting, Reception would connect the call to my classroom.

Let's hope you never need my help @ReganSomerset as I may just turn around and say "I realise you're suicidal but my DD's teacher wants to check I'm aware that dd is allergic to raw pepper - I am aware and it's on her form but school secretary feels this needs to be dealt with now because dd mentioned it. There's no pepper in the school so there isn't a big concern but apparently I need to prioritise my dd above your suicidal thoughts."

I love my 3 dds. Sometimes work comes first and sometimes even between dc I have to prioritise. It's not about more or less love of my dc.

Where are all the teachers “locking away” their phones?? My bag stays with me all day

@BackforGood I never said that everyone else has access to their mobile. The op asked if people are always available. I replied that I am. I don't work in an office, not that that matters. I wouldn't give my mobile number as my main contact method if I couldn't access it during the day like the surgeons you mention.