Are you ALWAYS available if school calls?

[m0therofdragons]

School secretary has been on the phone with a question about dd (age 7). Nothing major but she was really rude because she called both dh and I on our mobiles and my work phone which my manager answered and took a message.

Dh and I both happened to be in meetings.

We both called the school back about 25 minutes after they initially called. The third contact wasn't tried.

Usually I'm contactable. Her argument was I didn't know what the call was about and it could have been an emergency. My meeting was in a&e as I'm hospital management so if dd was being ambulanced in I'm in the right place but occasionally I have to go to other hospitals for meetings which could take me up to an hour and a half away. Less than once a month.

Do all other working parents work within 5 minutes of school and have their mobile on at all times?

I'm a teacher. My phone stays in my bag in the department's office while I'm teaching. If they ring my work, it gets put through to the landline in my department's office, and if somebody is there they will answer and come and find me. If nobody is there, it goes back to main office who in theory should come and find me, but in practice won't leave the desk unattended and there's often only one person there. Same for DH who works in a school.

DC's 3rd emergency contact is a friend who's a SAHM and would always answer her phone, but has three small DC and no car so would probably only make the trip if it was really an emergency.

Nobody was bothered anyway, if parents worked far away they had a close 3rd contact.
But even when I was on mat leave, living under 10 minutes from DD's school, I couldn't have promised to always be within 10 minutes. The supermarket, town centre, library, etc were all further than 10 minutes away especially if DH had the car. I wouldn't promise to sit at home all day every day in case the school phoned.

If it's a day of no meetings then yes, DH and I would be able to take the calls and I would always have my phone with me there too but may not be able to answer on first call. We both travel for work - we always make sure one of us at base though.

She was rude.

@Teachermaths that may be ideal but it isn't reasonable for many parents.

I'm often in meetings, ex can't use his phone at work, both sets of grandparents live abroad, my 2 sisters work full time and work between 1-2 hrs away and my 2 best friends also work full time, are both in sales and don't cover areas anywhere near school.

Who is meant to be the 3rd contact for school?

School called me yesterday. I was driving on the motorway. I called back when I was off the motorway- 20 minutes later.
We did have an issue last year when they complained I never answered the phone... I had sent my new number in, they had called me on the number that day, but not added to their system.

The majority of the kids at the school don't live within a 10minute drive.. the majority come by school bus (Primary). The secondary catchment is 45km!

I can as I don't start work until after school finishes. I'm usually around the local area as well.

However, I know I am very lucky and of course there will be many parents who don't have that luxury. I think the school secretary was being a bit rude.

No here too. Husband and I are both teachers and it takes time to arrange cover and can’t take a call whilst physically teaching in front of a class or invigilating an internal exam etc. Would be difficult to do that and travel to DC’s school in 30 mins.
Not going to be made to feel guilty about that by a few of the posters on this thread though and certainly not school receptionists.
Plenty of times I have supported pupils in my care before their parents can arrive (including accompanying a child to A and E) and certainly thought nothing of it and I don’t think you should either OP.

@IndieTara but is it reasonable for your puking child to be left sat in school for 2 hours?

Just putting it from the kids pov.

I'm not saying there's a solution, but for most people there will be an answer somewhere.

No, it was state primary school. CofE over subscribed every year, they could do what they wanted, was best in the area.

Stop making things up. State schools can't just do what they like because they're oversubscribed 🤣

OP YANBU. I would be pretty cross about being spoken to like that. If I'm with a patient I can't just drop everything to speak to school. On one occasion, I was uncontactable for about 30 minutes. They called our emergency contact rather than DH because they "didn't want to disturb him at work". Anyone would think it was the 1950s still with attitudes like that!

What do teachers do Teachermaths? The teacher above has said it’s not possible to leave and arrange cover in that timeframe

I'd have liked them to expect me to pick up ds within 30 minutes when we were living 25 miles away due to exh not allowing ds to go to school where we were living & forcing me to drive 45 minutes each way twice a day. Schools don't live in the real world , they think that parents should be sat glued to the phone all day just in case.

I'm a teacher. I'd be be able to sort cover and get to school in about 40 mins.

I wouldn't take the call, school have the reception number and would call them, then the message would get to me. Not rocket science.

Luckily I have friends and relatives who could get there in about 5 minutes.

So you couldn’t get there in 10?

Never said I could. Nor would I expect parents to. I do expect there to be someone within about 30 minutes however. For fairness for staff and poorly students.

But if you could be there in 40 minutes, and I can be there in an hour, what’s the big deal? It’s only another 20 minutes.

I have someone close by who can be there in 5. That's the difference.

An hour is just about OK, not fun for the kids but not the worst. I'm talking more about people who leave kids for 2 hours plus.... That's not fair on the children.

I dont even have a mobile phone so if I'm out of the house I'm not contactable at all. I dont usually go out for more than an hour at a time and I'm never more than walking distance from the school. My husband has a phone but would be at work with it switched off. So potentially it could be up to an hour before they could get in touch with one of us.
Weve never had an issue though. They've only ever rang once and I was in and heard the house phone.
I think she was very unrealistic. Especially with healthcare jobs you are unlikely to have your phone on you or on all the time.

That ten minutes rule mentioned before is nuts.
I’m a sahm mum but I love more than ten minutes away. Would I need a closer contact always available or do I need to hang around within ten minutes travel...

I can't usually take a call when with a client, and it could be up to 50 minutes before I could listen to a voicemail and phone back. Then up to an hour to travel back to pick up. DH might sometimes be able to get there quickly, but other times not. Nobody else I can reliably ask to be 3rd contact, as grandparents live 2.5 hours away. That's just the way it is, we both have to work and don't have an au pair or nanny.

Nope.

When I was a sahp the school they were in had a 20 minute collection policy but it had a fairly mixed catchment and lots of the parents couldn't afford to drive - even if I just popped to the shops on the bus I would take the best part of an hour to get back for a sick child. I don't know how they imagined they could enforce the rule unless they wanted all the parents sat at home twiddling their thumbs for
7 years+ ... hardly likely to improve any of our situations!

Now I'm working, different school and they are totally understanding if you miss a call. If child is really ill, they're obviously more persistant work through the list etc.

I genuinely do work within five minutes of both the schools our boys attend and I always have my phone with me. As a PP said, I still
miss the odd call from them, although generally most calls are Governor, rather than child related. But I have a very relaxed and flexible job, which (mostly) compensates for the lack of progression and relatively poor pay and benefits. It’s madness for the school to get so shirty with you. Presumably if it had been an actual emergency, she’d have proceeded to the other emergency contacts?

I wouldn't take the call, school have the reception number and would call them, then the message would get to me. Not rocket science.

My classroom alone is a 10 minute walk from reception. Very large secondary school.

At the moment yep. From next year - nope - I'll be a good train and bus ride away during the day. Dh can get to school in under half an hour if needed but he's a sod to get to answer his phone sometimes (so I suspect they'd still ring me and I'd keep trying to get hold of him).

Even if I was still at home full time next year I have times I have one or the other kids at hospital appointments or whatever where I can't be at school in a few minutes - that's life.

Schools get pissed off when numbers don't get updated, or parents have done a drop a queasy child at school and turning their phone off for the day routine.

I put my mobile on do not disturb but have set up an exception so that if the nanny calls it will ring and I will answer. I'll step out of meetings if I have to. My daughter is more important.

I forgot to add that although my dh collected dd today he still took 20mins as he was picking up something across the city. He called in and the receptionist let him through to DD’s classroom where she was waiting. They don’t wait in the corridor.

Thank you for making me feel normal and less of a bad mother. Working full time with 3 dc gas enough guilt associated so genuinely thank you.

My closest family is an hour and a half away usually (although currently in Greece) and my next family member lives in Canada so not helpful. All my friends work so I can't expect them to leave work to pick up my dc. My third contact is a friend. Luckily dh and I now work locally but even working in the same town, I'm not entitled to staff parking so walk 15 minutes to my car before then driving 10-15 minutes depending on traffic. Dh works minutes from school usually but had a conference today off site.