Are you ALWAYS available if school calls?

[m0therofdragons]

School secretary has been on the phone with a question about dd (age 7). Nothing major but she was really rude because she called both dh and I on our mobiles and my work phone which my manager answered and took a message.

Dh and I both happened to be in meetings.

We both called the school back about 25 minutes after they initially called. The third contact wasn't tried.

Usually I'm contactable. Her argument was I didn't know what the call was about and it could have been an emergency. My meeting was in a&e as I'm hospital management so if dd was being ambulanced in I'm in the right place but occasionally I have to go to other hospitals for meetings which could take me up to an hour and a half away. Less than once a month.

Do all other working parents work within 5 minutes of school and have their mobile on at all times?

I work in a school. If parents worked, I wouldn't be surprised if I couldn't easily get hold of them. I would expect that they'd call back though.

Wouldn't ever judge anyone if I knew they worked or likely to be busy.

Some parents just never answer the phone or engage with school. That's frustrating (although often factors like MH involved).

Yes but ds is a complex child so they need to call a lot and because of his needs I can’t work

I work a good 45 mins away so no I can't just drop everything if the school calls. They do have to realise parents aren't just sat at home!

They were being unreasonable because she made contact with someone ( your manager) so if it had been an emergency she could have interrupted your meeting.

@ReganSomerset my dds are extremely important but at that particular time, dealing with a patient with mental health issues and suicidal thoughts she wasn't no 1. I can see beyond my own selfishness in that situation.

No, I don’t get mobile reception at work (and I’m lab-based, so don’t have a desk phone). The primary school used to be really arsey about this. Even though DH could always be reached AND was down as the emergency contact AND I’d written on every single fucking form that if they needed me, then I could ONLY be contacted via the unit secretary (who would come and fish me out of the lab if necessary), but for that to work they actually had to ask for me using MY NAME (not “Jonny’s mum”, not Mrs HisName). They just could not get the hang of this AT ALL. I’m delighted that I never have to deal with them ever again.

There's a big difference between the call OP got and an emergency call.

Nope, there are big parts of the day where I am not contactable.
If something had happened, DH would have been more likely to go than me too.

No I’m a teacher so can’t have my phone out.

OP I think it’s a normal set up.
Not everyone can pick up a call. People have meetings (it’s not unusual for DH to be in meetings after meeting for the whole day).
The school rang with a question that coud really could have waited a few more hours. They had no reason at all to be annoyed because you took some time to get back to them.

Yes I am a SAHM. The school have a list of 6 other contacts just in case I am ever unavailable.

Having worked at a nursery I know how infuriating it can be when parents don't leave alternative contacts.

No. I'm a supply teacher so can't have my phone on during lessons and am never sure where I'll be from one day to the next.

Dh is office based but can't always answer his phone if he's stuck on a call or away from his desk. He's also over half an hour away.

So far I have managed to avoid missing any calls from the school and they call pretty often because dd has health problems. I do have the occasional meeting I really couldn’t pause, but DH also knows to prioritize a call from the school, so if they went to him as the 2nd contact, I would expect him to pick up.

There's a big difference between the call OP got and an emergency call.

Not if the OP or someone else still can’t physically get there in 20-30 minutes though and the receptionist should not have guilt tripped the OP by saying ‘what if it was an emergency’?
If it is, the school will call an ambulance or whatever is relevant to the ‘emergency’.

I didn't answer today because my phone was in my bag and I didn't see it. Luckily DC wasn't ill it was just a question.
She was rude imo.

No, during client meetings my phone is on silent in my bag. My husband is less available than me when at work.

@m0therofdragons

Well, your priorities are for you to decide. For me, DD comes first. You asked if others had their mobiles on at all times and I answered.

Surely the further away you are, the more vital it is you answer first time. Or at least the school can get hold of someone who will answer.

That's nice for your ReganSomerset but not everyone works in an office.
Plenty of people are not able to have their phones on them while at work. Or people might be driving. Or people might not have signal. Or people might be in court. Or people might work somewhere where phones aren't allowed because of either official secrets act or industrial espionage contracts. Or they might work in an operating theatre and therefore unable to just "excuse themselves from a meeting". Or so many other scenarios. You being lucky enough to be working in a job where you can do that is a privilege you are lucky to have, it doesn't make you a superior parent to those that don't have that luxury.

Stepping out of meetings isn’t exactly a big deal regan, not quite sure how that’s putting your daughter first. It’s just fairly normal in meetings where excusing yourself is possible, surely?

If we are in the office people have the phones on and take calls. Last month a mum took a call and the school phoned to say her child had broke her arm and she was able to go and sort it out.
However other times we may be in court, having a CP meeting, escorting a child to a new placement, dealing with a child that is is going through an extremely traumatic situation for example and would not be drop everything and go.
In our situation Dp has always been self employed and worksd 30 mins from school and was able to get there

My kids come first generally, as they do for everyone. However if I’m busy at work, then no I can leave until I have resolved what I’m doing. Thankfully h is is a position generally to go get them if need be but not always.

Also thankfully, we haven’t been called often.

regan Be careful, you are coming across that you love your kids more than we love ours.

What kind of questions are these schools asking??🤔 DD’s school just put a note in her diary. If they call me it’s only because one of my dc are ill.
It’s really not that bad to answer a phonecall in a school day. I was in a meeting with fellow teachers. Phone was on the table (as were others) my phone started flashing, I saw it was DD’s school and said excuse me everyone this is DD’s school I’m just going to answer and I went into the corridor. Answered, and then arranged for my dh to collect her. When I got back into the meeting they asked if all was ok, I informed them of the issue and said dh would collect. No one was offended or bothered I left to answer. 🤷‍♀️

So the obvious question has to be how did theses schools cope when mobile phones were not normal? They used their initiative I guess. Something that seems to be a bit lacking these days.

No! I'm not. And I'm their only parent. But in the workplace I'm one of the only mtohers and the other mothers have partners so the last thing I want to do is come across as somebody who will ditch their work because their child has forgotten its lunch. The school did ring me once to let me know my son had forgotten his lunch (again). I was supposed to move heaven and earth to get a sandwich to him. I wasn't in the area. This happened about five times. Eventually I was like, if he forgets to put his lunch in his bag, what will happen will be that he gets hungry.