Hilarious old sayings you never hear anymore.

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I’ve started this thread having had the most hilarious exchange with an old man and his carer whilst getting my morning coffee.

“Give it some welly”
“ looks like 6 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag” 😂
“If there’s a rotten potato in the pot I’ll get it”
“Knock ‘em bandy”

I’ve never heard any of them and they need reviving 🤣🤣

Please share yours that might be new to me also. I haven’t stopped laughing thinking I’d him.

"She had a face like a slapped arse"

Gone/went for a burton. As in, fell, arse over tit.
Alleyup, said when lifting a child onto your lap.
Window licker. Not all there in the head.
Fart in a trance. You're stood there like a fart in a trance/don't know what to do.
I'll give ya something to cry for. (If you were crying)
Bucketing down. Raining
Am nithered. I'm cold.

Another one, if I complained I was bored I was told to "awa' and play tig way the buses" 😂 sounds quite sinister looking at it through adult eyes, thank goodness sarcasm was ingrained in our little minds

My dad’s was the similarly themed “go and play on the motorway”. It does feel grim now...

If that's dinner, high time it was tea time! Reference to when we had dinner at what's now lunch time and our tea at at what's now dinner time.

I didn’t come up the Clyde in a banana boat

Awa and beil your head.

= get lost

Bob's your uncle (and Fanny's your aunt) when something is done easily.

Face like the back of a bus.
Don't care was made to care.
A cat may look at a king (response to what are you looking at)

• Sit still, you're like a fart in a trance!
• It's a bit Heath Robinson!
• I'm absolutely chin-strapped.
• Shame the devil and tell the truth.
• It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good.
• You make a good door, but you're a rubbish window.
• A fly in the ointment.
• Pardon my French.
• He's gone for a Burton.
• Stop telling porkies.
• It's brass monkeys outside.

I could go on and on, I love old sayings and use lots of them regularly

Champagne test on a lemonade income one of my favourite

Pull the other one, it’s got bells on
Couldn’t stop a pig in an alley
I’ve seen more fat on a butcher’s apron
Done up like a dog’s dinner
You’d be late for your own funeral
Who’s she? The cat’s mother?!
The heavens have opened
I wants don’t get
A sandwich short of a picnic
I just need a Jimmy riddle
Wind your neck in
What time do you call this?

I was brought up with lots of old sayings and have heard hundreds over the years nursing older people. It’s great to pass them down to the next generation.

Knee high to a grasshopper
There’s plenty more fish in the sea
They haven’t got a pot to piss in
Till the cows come home
Oh my days! - DS aged 11 uses this one lol
Someone just walked over my grave
You’ll be the death of me
Money doesn’t grow on trees
It’s not the end of the world
She’s no better than she ought to be

Oh my giddy aunt!
People are in but the lights are out
She’s no better than she ought to be
Face like a smacked bum
Mouth like a hens arse
Not the full shilling
Going out out

He’s like a dog with a bone
A third class ride is better than a first class walk
You’ll have what you’re given and be thankful for it
He looks like a long streak of nothing
Legs up to her armpits
He’s as wide as he is tall
When the boat comes in
He sang like a canary- eagerly telling tales
She’s got gypsy blood- couldn’t settle in one place for long
Thank your lucky stars!
Put up and shut up
I was backed into a corner

As rare as hen’s teeth
You look like death warmed up.
I feel like death
You’ll catch your death
Night night, mind the bed bugs don’t bite
I’m so tired I could sleep standing up
Don’t worry about the dead, it’s the living you need to be afraid of.
Punch drunk
Like Bambi on ice
Three sheets to the wind
I haven’t got a bottomless purse
Money doesn’t grow on trees

I can’t sleep and as I look at other posts they jog my memory of even more sayings and exclamations.

'Couldn't organise a dogfight'. (Mum)
'Beef to the heels like a Mullingar heifer'. (Dad)

My Dad whenever cooking and something would go wrong would tell out “Poofter!” Or “Fucking poofter!” Which usually has us in a chorus going “Poofters in the kitchen again..” - don’t think we’d get away with that these days.

Same way if we ever said “It’s not fair” mum would retort with “neither is a black fellas bum!” - again, can’t imagine saying that out loud to anyone either..

cwg1 amazing! Thank you! I was quite little when he passed away so I never got a chance to ask! I’m going to do some reading on this and let my siblings know. Thank you!

Nanna and Great Aunty used to say:
"Hells Bells and buckets of blood!"
"Shit with Sugar on" when asked if there was anything to eat.
" I look like the wreck of the Hesparus" when checking her appearance in the mirror ( I say this too).
My mam says " You'd make a better door than a window" if someone is standing in the way.
"I could eat a scabby horse" is one remember from my uncles when they were hungry.

Like shit off a shoovle
Go to the foot of our stairs
Eee I could crush a grape
In an out like a blue arse fly

Couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

If I had an early start = "Up at sparrow fart"

my favourite saying of my Nan’s is ‘no better than she ought to be’ which was mostly aimed at young women with too much lipstick on, or those wearing the ultimate sign of Loose Morals - an ankle bracelet.

my Nan was a proper Bow Bells, gertcha Cockney, God rest her soul, and the best advice she had (that she dished out on the regular from when i was around 13) was to ‘keep your hand on your ha’penny’.

with 2 divorces under my belt, i probably should have listened.

Up the wooden hill to blanket street, off to bed
The face only a mother could love,

Eat an apple through a letter box, buck toothed
As much use as an ashtray on a motor bike, or a handbrake on a canoe
Little pigs have big ears, nosey children

How's your belly for spots and your bottom for barnacles?! 😂 (Posh friend used to say this... So British!!)