Male view on modern feminism

[aronroche]

I was having a discussion with a friend on what i see as the biggest issues with feminism and i would like a general idea on where women stood in relation to my views.

Firstly I have an issue with the term "rape culture" as I do not believe one exists in modern westernised countries. I understand this term to mean that there is somewhat of an acceptance of rape. I believe that 99 percent of males see rape the same way as women do. An absolute disgusting crime. While it is obviously different in other countries across the world, men in westernized countries do care about the welfare of women and would see a rapist as the lowest of the low.

The second issue I have with feminism is the term white male privalage. I understand women go through hardships I will never understand as a man but that does not mean that males do not have issues that women do not understand. I do not feel I have any advantage in society as a whole simply because im male.

Thirdly I disagree with the idea that a man is completely at fault if he has sex with a girl who is very drunk. Of course if a women is in such a drunken state that she is not conscious or lucid that is rape however if she is willing and knows exactly what she is doing that is on her regardless of how drunk she is. I would like to clarify that when I say this i mean completely willing in that she is not pressured and if she changes her mind the man has to accept her decision.

To finish id like to make clear that I do respect women and support women and the feminist movement as a whole. Im asking these questions not because I see womens issues as bullshit but because id better like to understand other views to my own

The responses are more ridiculous as they come in. Me saying I'd support my partner if she chose to work after having a child is met with "oh how nice of you. A perfect example of white male privilege" absolutely ridiculous

Your ignorance is outstanding.

Say the sentence: “when I have children, I hope my partner would support me working full time”

Aren't you even trying to understand why tho? Why does she need you to support her? Would a women ever say 'i'd support my husband if he wanted to work after children'? Of course not! That's the problem!

Op read this.....

the war on women

Then come back and discuss

OP, I actually agrees with you on the very minor point of the term "mansplaining". I think it's become a way of discrediting someone's opinions on the basis of their sex. I might find someone's opinions or their communication style abhorrent, but that could (and has) applied to both meb and women, and I'd usually attribute it to them as an individual, rather than to their sex. I think playing the "mansplaining" card every time an obnoxious person happens to be male is lazy.

Firstly I have an issue with the term "rape culture" as I do not believe one exists in modern westernised countries...Im not saying rape and sexual misconduct dosnt happen. Of course it does.

Lol. I'm mid-30s. Offhand, without really thinking about it I can recall:
An adult man putting his hand up my school skirt as I got on a bus.
An adult man inviting teenage me to the cinema, but instead driving me to his house, locking the door, and pressuring me for sex, only relenting when I told him I'd scream so loud the whole street heard.
A random man pushing me against a wall in broad daylight and kissing me on the mouth.
An adult male "parent chaperone" at a teenage sleepover offering us all back massages.
A boyfriend persistently pressuring me for sex and becoming sulky and aggressive if I said no.
A teenage boy half my age shouting "show us your tits!" on the street and then him and his friends all shouting violent abuse when I ignored him.
Being on a tube carriage where a group of drunk men loudly rated all the women in the carriage by attractiveness.
Countless whistles, beeps, leers, and muttered sexual comments from strangers on the street.
That's a very non-exhaustive list; it's just a handful of things that sprang immediately to mind. I'm not especially beautiful or glamorous, my dress style is casual, I don't really drink or go clubbing - not that there's anything wrong with any of those things, but my point is that my experience is completely typical and normal. Most women you know will have a similar list, and it starts in their childhood. Like most women, I've never reported any of these events or even told anyone, except in the course of conversations like this. Because what would be the point? Most people will react like you and say "well, sorry that happened to you, but it's not really a widespread problem", which implies "you must be doing something to invite this behaviour".

I disagree with the idea that a man is completely at fault if he has sex with a girl who is very drunk.
I read an interesting comment on another thread here this morning (froma woman who had been in this situation) that said if both parties are very drunk and the woman appears in her drunkenness to consent, she cant hold the man to a higher standard than herself. It wasn't a point I'd considered before as often these scenarios are portrayed as the man deliberately seeking out a drunk woman to prey on while he himself is sober and fully aware of his actions (which undoubtedly does also happen, but maybe isn't always the case).

comedy gold.

Now, Now girls be nice.
I suspect the op assumed he’d be lauded as an ally whilst we all swooned over his obvious intellect.

No, you haven't been shot down, you've been given loads of examples and you just keep telling us we are wrong. How you know better. And now you're having a tantrum because the women haven't bowed down and listened to your superior knowledge.

The reason people who don't know you are telling you that you have no respect for women is because you have told us so. You have spelt it out for us in the things you have said.

You might even genuinely believe that you have respect for women but your actions are painting a completely different story.

Me and my husband worked together when we had our son. When I returned full time I was met with people telling me how awful it was that I'd had to return full time. No it wasn't....it was my choice. Not one person asked my husband that question. Not one.

Hi all,
Thanks for reporting, all those who did. We wanted to let this run but recent posts do lend us to suspect that this may have been a goading exercise. We're going to lock the thread rather than delete it, however, as it is instructive of a particular mindset.