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Original poster

Advice...DS at party wants to come home, sounds upset cant leave house due to baby in bed.

150 replies

Overseasmom100 · 08/06/2019 22:34

DS 14 gone to a party 10 mins away. Was staying over in tent in garden with the boys just rang sounds upset wants to come home and not stay. He doesnt really like staying away but thought this time he would. Im now panicking as got baby in bed asleep DH working can not leave.

Im thinking only alternative is a taxi???

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 08/06/2019 23:40

Is your son ok OP?

IvanaPee · 08/06/2019 23:41

@Overseasmom100 is your son ok?

BackforGood · 08/06/2019 23:41

I'm with NannyOgg and GetUpAgain
My dc are 22, 20, and 17. I hope they all know that if they need help, that help would be forthcoming. Quite frankly, I'd go and fetch a friend of their's or a friend of mine's dc if the need ever arose.
MancaroniCheese you have no idea why the OP's ds feels he needs to leave the party.

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Families
Teddybear45 · 08/06/2019 23:43

The common sense thing here is to put the baby in the car and pick the teen up. Why is this even on MN?

NameChangerAmI · 08/06/2019 23:43

I think you've done the right thing, OP. A taxi home is fine. Hope he's OK.

IvanaPee · 08/06/2019 23:43

Because it wouldn’t have been fair to wake the toddler, OP said.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 08/06/2019 23:46

Hope he’s ok Flowers

CoffeeCoffeeTea · 09/06/2019 00:01

I would have rang the parents, asked them how everyone was and explaind DS had texted . I would have no problem getting toddler out of bed to go on an adventure to get big brother .
I hate getting taxis and would never allow my DCs to get a taxi on their own. I do accept I'm overly protective .
Hope you DC is okay.

HagridsBigToe · 09/06/2019 00:06

Taxi, tell them you'll pay at your house.
14 year olds generally don't want to loose face with friends, and going home might get him teased. There must be a reason for it.

Original poster
Overseasmom100 · 09/06/2019 00:17

UPDATE
Ok so now home. He didnt want to say in front of anyone else. Some were drinking and was getting out of hand and he felt uncomfortable with the enviroment and didnt want to stay. He's nit been with these kids before outside of school...I dont know any of them...secondary is so different to primary where you know everyone.

Im pleased he had to sense to come home...I just paniced abit that's why I posted as Mumsnetters are the best Grin

OP posts:
ThePhoenixRises · 09/06/2019 00:21

Glad he is home and he absolutely did the right thing in that situation.

IvanaPee · 09/06/2019 00:22

Have you told the parents of the sleepover child?? What if they just think he’s done a runner?

1moremum · 09/06/2019 00:24

Well done to him for taking care of himself. You've taught him well. A crap experience at the party, a good experience at the dealing with it.

Brew for you and Brew hot choc for him.

(Autocorrect wanted to change that to hot chick for him. NO, BAD AUTOCORRECT, BAD)

GreenTulips · 09/06/2019 00:25

I agree these parties can get out of hand and I would want DC to call and be collected - no baby to worry about and I’d go in a heart beat.

Better safe than sorry

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 09/06/2019 00:29

Have you told the parents of the sleepover child?? What if they just think he’s done a runner?

The OP's child and other 14 year olds were in a situation where they were able to access alcohol and it was 'getting out of hand'. That's not a responsible parenting scenario so I wouldn't give a fuck about informing them that my child had left.

On another note, this is the second thread I've seen this week where a teen's needs are being put behind the needs of a much younger sibling. It makes me really sad - your toddler would have slept (or been sleepy - like it matters!) and your teen would have known that you care enough to jump in the car when he reaches out to you for help. Sending a stranger in a taxi isn't the same.

LiliesAndChocolate · 09/06/2019 00:32

I have a safe phrase my kids can use when things go sour at parties and they are calling me in front of friends or drunk parents:

" I am just checking at what time you want me to come home" is a code for come and pick me up.

In the same way, if they feel unsafe in a car, they have to say
"I think I am going to be sick" so they are sure the driver will stop car and then they can say I will wait for my parents here.
This second code was used once when DS1 was being dropped hime by a father who was high and going crazy fast.

IvanaPee · 09/06/2019 00:34

Wannabe I don’t know if that’s entirely fair.

I remember my own teen drinking days and there were ways and means to get it past my very responsible parents!

I do agree about putting the teen’s immediate and potentially serious needs behind a toddler being in bed. That actually made me so sad to read.

I have never and would never do that to my young teen in favour of his younger sibling.

Duck90 · 09/06/2019 00:42

You should have spoken to the parents, then take your (clearly more important) youngest and pick him up from the sleep over.

MazDazzle · 09/06/2019 00:43

"I think I am going to be sick"

Genius. I’ll be pinching this one.

SickOfBeingFat · 09/06/2019 00:44

Glad he’s okay!

MazDazzle · 09/06/2019 00:45

My DM always said to me as a teen, ‘It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’ve done, if you need a lift home I’ll always come and get you.’

freshstartnewme · 09/06/2019 00:45

OP you did the right thing. You got your teen home. I don't see why so many people have a problem with him coming home by taxi, it doesn't mean you have prioritised your youngest, it just means you made a decision based on the easiest all round solution.

Your son will likely come to you for years to come because you have shown him the security that he needs.

ReanimatedSGB · 09/06/2019 01:02

I don't drive, so if my DS was in that situation I would send a cab for him. Well, I hope if he was in such a situation I would have enough money to send a cab for him...

JustHavinABreak · 09/06/2019 02:20

What a great job you've done OP. Mine are only 7, 4 and 2 but when we get to the stage of drinking at parties, if they're not comfortable I hope we'll have managed to instil enough self assurance in them that they feel they can just come home.

SparklyMagpie · 09/06/2019 08:31

So glad he made it home OP

Bless him, I had a feeling drink may have been involved and I know my 14 year old brother wouldn't have liked being in that situation

But yeah end result he was home for his nice, warm bed :)