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Original poster

Advice...DS at party wants to come home, sounds upset cant leave house due to baby in bed.

150 replies

Overseasmom100 · 08/06/2019 22:34

DS 14 gone to a party 10 mins away. Was staying over in tent in garden with the boys just rang sounds upset wants to come home and not stay. He doesnt really like staying away but thought this time he would. Im now panicking as got baby in bed asleep DH working can not leave.

Im thinking only alternative is a taxi???

OP posts:
freshstartnewme · 08/06/2019 23:15

So nobody suggested phoning the parent in charge?

When they are 14 you discuss with the teen. If there is anything the other parent needs to know, now is not the time.

Alerting them to a possible problem that could have easily been smoothed over.

But the teen wanted to come home, not for someone else's parent to smooth something over.

She/he will be mortified by a taxi suddenly turning up

I'm fucking baffled by this. Taxis are regular, everyday methods of transport. Why on earth would anyone be mortified by one turning up to collect someone who was going home?

GoneGirl · 08/06/2019 23:15

Is he home now OP? I think you did the right thing. At 14, I'd want him home too.

DramaRamaLlama · 08/06/2019 23:16

"Not fair" to wake a toddler?!

FGS I agree with the poster who said it's so important that your teen knows you'll be there for him.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
BackforGood · 08/06/2019 23:16

I do would have bundled the toddler into the car and gone without question, unless there was a neighbour that would sit in with the toddler for 20mins (which would be my first option).
It is really important that your teens know you will respond if they ask for help, come what may.

ThePhoenixRises · 08/06/2019 23:17

Hope he is okay OP

AbbyHammond · 08/06/2019 23:18

I would also be happy to wake my 20 month old - slightly disturbed sleep really isn't a big deal.

But also I think a 14 year old will be fine in a taxi.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 08/06/2019 23:18

Glad you got him

At this age there can be all kinds of stuff, drugs etc

Figgygal · 08/06/2019 23:19

Sorry but why can't you wake the two-year-old ? I have a two-year-old he would be up and in the car and in the time that youve posted this I'd probably be halfway back with a sleeping 2 year old in back.

Glad you're getting it sorted

darjeelingisrank · 08/06/2019 23:20

Oh, FFS, wouldn't have thought twice about bundling the toddler in the car and taking off. I'm so glad I could rely on my parents at that age, one sleepover party ended up with a load of cocaine at it (yes, at 14-years-old) and serious pressure to take it and bullying.

elephantoverthehill · 08/06/2019 23:20

MancaroniCheese My Dcs are 23, 17 and 14. They are responsible and independent young people because I do not let them hold onto my apron strings. I do support them when needed but coming home from a sleepover is not a biggie IMO.

MyNewBearTotoro · 08/06/2019 23:20

I would see it as a positive that your teen called you when he was unhappy and think you’ve done the right thing in calling a taxi. Hope he’s okay.

IvanaPee · 08/06/2019 23:21

@elephantoverthehill I suggested contacting the parent on page one.

OP I’m glad he’s coming home but honestly it’s not fair to wake toddler?

Your son was distressed. That trumps the unfairness of waking your toddler surely? Bloody hell!

Beansandcoffee · 08/06/2019 23:22

Yep my two teenage boys know they can call me anytime they don’t feel safe and I will get them.

Hefzi · 08/06/2019 23:22

You really wouldn't ring host parents to let them know a cab was coming for your son? MN is really weird sometimes Confused I'd be very concerned if a 14 year old suddenly bundles out into a taxi - how on earth are the host parents to know it's been mandated by his parents ffs?

Redglitter · 08/06/2019 23:25

It's not fair to wake a sleeping toddler?? Ffs talk about priorities. You have an upset 14 year old wanting to come home. You have no idea what's happened. His needs should trump a sleeping child

justasking111 · 08/06/2019 23:25

My DS wanted to come home once, he was not well really bad stomach pains. We never made a big deal out of it. Boys can get emotional too in their teenage years if they feel out of their depth. Hope he is ok OP.

elephantoverthehill · 08/06/2019 23:26

Ivana I'm sorry I did not acknowledge that post.

Biancadelrioisback · 08/06/2019 23:28

Wouldn't cross my mind to go and get him one way or another. Preferably id go myself but if really not possible I'd send a taxi and be sat up waiting with a cuppa (or hot choccy) to talk it out.
He HAS to know that he matters to you just as much as the toddler, and that he always will. You NEED to be the person he can rely on

Straysocks · 08/06/2019 23:29

Yes, get the big one home asap. Also, stealing the ask-me-no-questions emoji idea - thank you.

Bookworm4 · 08/06/2019 23:31

Christ on a bike, he’s 14 not 4!
Send a taxi, why is this having to be asked on MN? I despair I really do 🙄

Drum2018 · 08/06/2019 23:31

Hope he's ok. I assume you contacted the parents to let them know that he's being collected. Was there any chance they could have dropped him?

MrsEricBana · 08/06/2019 23:32

I don't get this at all. A teen is upset and wants to come home and a toddler can't be popped in the car while you fetch them? Sure they probably won't be keen but the upset teen needs fetching in this scenario. Is your 14 year old your oldest child OP? Your hair would go white if you knew what can go on at these gatherings. FAR more goes on than I'd thought and I don't think I'm unduly naive.

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/06/2019 23:35

Not all children go back to sleep. If my dd was awoken or woke in the night at that age she was awake for 4 hours minimum and wanting to play. I would have done everything to avoid this. A taxi at 14 is a fair option. Op said her ds doesn’t like to stay away. Perhaps he just changed his mind, no drama. Quick taxi journey and home.

GetUpAgain · 08/06/2019 23:37

I've always told my DC they can call me in any situation and I will get them (and their friends) whatever the reason. Whatever the matter is can get sorted out in due course.

I used to get in massively dodgy situations. My parents were so strict I would never have contacted them (having lied about where I was going!) I don't want that for my DC.

I would bundle toddler into car without giving it a second thought. Hope your son is ok OP.

Nanny0gg · 08/06/2019 23:37

MancaroniCheese My Dcs are 23, 17 and 14. They are responsible and independent young people because I do not let them hold onto my apron strings. I do support them when needed but coming home from a sleepover is not a biggie IMO.

Except you have no idea of why or what's happened. So a blanket No is actually pretty daft.

Only thing I think should have happened is that the host parents should have been spoken to, especially as the OP had to send a taxi