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Advice...DS at party wants to come home, sounds upset cant leave house due to baby in bed.

150 replies

Overseasmom100 · 08/06/2019 22:34

DS 14 gone to a party 10 mins away. Was staying over in tent in garden with the boys just rang sounds upset wants to come home and not stay. He doesnt really like staying away but thought this time he would. Im now panicking as got baby in bed asleep DH working can not leave.

Im thinking only alternative is a taxi???

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 08/06/2019 22:51

I'd pop baby in the car and go and get him. I'd phone first to make sure he 100% wants to come home.
Hopefully baby will just go back to sleep whilst you are driving.

SparklyMagpie · 08/06/2019 22:51

@elephantoverthehill seriously? How do you know something hasn't happened to him that's upset him?!

yikesanotherbooboo · 08/06/2019 22:53

I'd take the baby and get him

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LolaSmiles · 08/06/2019 22:55

Take baby and go to get him.

I was out last night and overheard a girl who i would say was 16/17 in the toilets saying 'mum I want to leave, can you call me in 5 mins and say you need to collect me.or something'. I thought it was a great thing to hear between teen and parent. Much better than tolerating a bad night or suffering in silence.

BookWitch · 08/06/2019 22:57

I'd go and collect him,
I always told my DDs (now 24, 20 and 17) to ALWAYS call me if they feel uncomfortable somewhere and really need a pick up. I might be grumpy, but I would always come and get them. Like PPs said, it would have taken a lot for him to call you, don't let him down. The baby will go back to sleep, and even there is a bit of a disturbed night, surely that is not as bad as your DS having a really bad experience

Soola · 08/06/2019 22:57

Ten minutes in the car or ten minutes walking?

My son at that age would have just walked home if it was a ten minute walk. If it’s a ten minute drive then send a cab, I wouldn’t go and get him if I had a young baby as well.

Overseasmom100 · 08/06/2019 22:59

UPDATE.
10 mins by car. Sorry I say baby he's nearly 2 so toddler. No cant take him not fair to wake him. Have called a taxi to collect him.

OP posts:
freshstartnewme · 08/06/2019 23:01

Personally I'd want to joke why he suddenly didn't want to stay- has something happened at the party?

First and foremost when a teenager calls and says they want to come home, you get them home. Of course you can ask them later what happened.

He needs to let the parents know he's going if you can't persuade him to stay,

Why the fuck would anyone try to persuade a teenager to stay if they have called saying they want to come home? It's basic parenting to be there for you child, without question.

negomi90 · 08/06/2019 23:02

Taxi (they'll let you pay when he gets in) or bundle baby up and go.
Which child would have worse outcomes if it all goes wrong?
Baby - worst case scenario they get woken up and are a bit grizzly for an hour or two
Teen - may be exposed to things they're not comfortable with (drink/drugs etc) which is why they don't want to stay or is just uncomfortable. Leaving him may be dangerous, depending on what's actually happening, or best case will make him nervous/unhappy. He'll remember being stranded here and not knowing what to do and you being unable to rescue him.

He's asked you to step in, you need to get him out. The baby will be fine.

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/06/2019 23:03

Take baby and get a taxi and go and get him

freshstartnewme · 08/06/2019 23:03

At the age of 14 I would tell him to tough it out, he decided to go.

What the fuck Hmm

allabouteve1 · 08/06/2019 23:04

Hope he is okay and that the taxi isn't long getting to him. Has he/ you told the friend's parents he's coming home just so they don't worry about him getting the taxi.

Quellium · 08/06/2019 23:05

I would wake my 2 yr old up, no question to get my upset 14 yr old. Poor kid. They need to know someone will always come for them. It's so important.

CoolCarrie · 08/06/2019 23:06

I’d go and get him, just put your baby in car seat. Our DS knows that he can call us anytime if he needs to get home, and we will get him.

Crunchymum · 08/06/2019 23:07

I too would wake the 2yo to get the ofler child.

What if he had been taken poorly? Shock

Jon65 · 08/06/2019 23:07

This happened to my son, he called and said can you collect me. He was camping in a tent at a party on a farm and some town lads heard the music and 'broke' into the tents, stole everything. He was v upset so went to fetch him at 3 in the morning Sad

CoolCarrie · 08/06/2019 23:08

Good update OP! Children should always feel that their parent should will get them whenever they need us.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 08/06/2019 23:08

Wake up his sibl8ng and go and get him.

elephantoverthehill · 08/06/2019 23:08

So nobody suggested phoning the parent in charge? Alerting them to a possible problem that could have easily been smoothed over. She/he will be mortified by a taxi suddenly turning up

MancaroniCheese · 08/06/2019 23:09

OP I think you made the right decision.

He may have been unable to openly tell you what that problem was if there was a chance of being overheard.

I have always said to mine that no matter what, if they want to come home, feel unsafe or worried, even if they are somewhere they shouldn't be or doing something they shouldn't then I will come and get them.

We also have a special emoji that they use as a "come and get me no questions asked please" if they don't want to call or be seen messaging to come home.

Crunchymum · 08/06/2019 23:09
  • Older child

And I meant "what would you do if older child had been taken poorly?" (I assume wake the 2yo and go and get him?)

DM1209 · 08/06/2019 23:10

Unless there is a medical reason, I cannot understand why you won't wake your toddler and personally go and collect your upset teen? Instead you're opting for a stranger in a cab? This would be fine if he was just bored or something and simply wanted to come home but he's upset.

What an odd parent.

MancaroniCheese · 08/06/2019 23:11

elephantoverthehill
"At the age of 14 I would tell him to tough it out, he decided to go."

I really hope that you have much younger children and therefore have just not yet figured out that sometimes it is not as straightforward for teens and they need to know that their parent has got their back ALWAYS.

fikel · 08/06/2019 23:11

It’s great he’s mature enough to leave a situation that he’s not comfortable with

ClareDanesDress · 08/06/2019 23:14

Hope he’s ok OP X