Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
Moses92 · 07/06/2019 20:15

Hope you get it sorted OP, if he was in custody surely they would just tell you?

StealthPolarBear · 07/06/2019 20:16

Will he be released when he's sobered up? Does any one know - if in fact that's what has happened.

celebrityskin · 07/06/2019 20:16

OMG at least we know he's okay. Xxxxx

offtowindycastle · 07/06/2019 20:16

Glad he's OK, hope you are too.

You've mentioned drink a few times in your updates which makes me think it's not unusual for him to drink in the day?

BumbleBeee69 · 07/06/2019 20:17

this gets weirder and weirder.. was he detained for perhaps leaving the scene of an accident OP ? either way I'm glad you've found he is safe Flowers

HoneysuckIejasmine · 07/06/2019 20:17

Gosh, how stressful. At least you know where he is now.

QueenOfTheEighthKingdom · 07/06/2019 20:17

He could have called his office to ask them for OP's number (assuming they have it as next of kin) or to call her and pass on a message if his phone was dead/damaged and he didn't know her number. He must be aware of the time and that she would worry if he's not unconscious in hospital.

Very odd situation OP.

Do you have the home contact number of the person from his office he spoke to, to ask exactly what he said and if he'd said exactly where the accident occurred? Could you get someone to drive you there so you can get out to see if there's any evidence that there was a car accident there. Could the car have rolled out of view so not visible from the road?

heidihigh · 07/06/2019 20:17

Oh wow, you must be in bits. Hope you get some answers soonThanks

Teaonthebedsheets · 07/06/2019 20:17

Poor you OP. I would be absolutely furious if my husband got arrested and had called his work instead of me - surely you could have phoned work and explained about the accident for him, and saved you all this worry? (Though now you'll no doubt have another kind of worry).

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 07/06/2019 20:17

Glad he’s ok. You were right about his driving then.

He can’t be drunk, you’d have seen evidence of that with his lunch plates.

I hope he hasn’t hurt anyone.

babyno5 · 07/06/2019 20:17

I'm so sorry for the stress OP. I hope you get some proper answers.
Do you have someone with you? xx

Wolfcubisthefemalenominal · 07/06/2019 20:18

It may be that he’s not actually had a car accident op but that he used that as a cover with work after being arrested on a warrant and didn’t think about the consequences of you worrying something bad had happened to him

MustardScreams · 07/06/2019 20:18

Oh god how awful. Hope you’re ok op. At least you know he’s safe, and hopefully you’ll be able to find out more tonight or tomorrow.

StealthPolarBear · 07/06/2019 20:19

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo that's not true. I won't go into details but there are plenty of scenarios where there wouldn't be evidence.

StealthPolarBear · 07/06/2019 20:19

Op do you have chikdren

martinidry · 07/06/2019 20:20

It does sound like he is in custody.
I was told the same thing when following a disturbance that morning at my neighbour's house I realised that their dog had been out for hours in the back garden, which was most unusual and caused me concern. I called the police. They told me almost exactly What you've been told. It turned out that my neighbours were being held in custody!
(Fortunately they have now moved away!)

lololove · 07/06/2019 20:20

I'm glad you know he's safe, even if that's Al you know. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this lovely

SheepOnRafts · 07/06/2019 20:20

I have worked in custody. They can tell you they have someone of that name there and that’s it. Going down there won’t help. He will have been given the option of access to a solicitor and the option to call someone to let them know he’s there. He doesn’t have to take those options. They will give him drinks and food. He’ll have his photograph and fingerprints taken as a matter of course. With a driving offence they may have taken breath/bloods. They will be checking in him very regularly to check he’s ok. They have to track how often they check him. He will have access to healthcare. They can hold him for 24 hours max initially but most are not held that long. Most are released and bailed back for a later date whilst investigation takes place.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 07/06/2019 20:20

Hope you get some answers soon OP.

justasking111 · 07/06/2019 20:20

Glad he is safe, the rest will come out in time. You can get mad then.

QueenofallIsee · 07/06/2019 20:21

Gosh - I had a minor experience as a teen when my grandmother had a bit of a breakdown and just sort of drove off into the night. Big panic and we were advised of her safety (upon reporting it) and that they couldn’t say more. Apparently as an adult of capacity and having no cause to believe she would harm herself, she had the right for us not to know where she was. Annoying at the time as she definitely needed help but I suppose it makes sense. Could he be in shock and asked for space or something?

BentBaastard · 07/06/2019 20:22

Goodness

How scary for you?

TerribleTwosPhase · 07/06/2019 20:22

At least you know hes safe op

Oblomov19 · 07/06/2019 20:22

Is this normal? Why isn't OP being provided with more details?
If her Dh has refused disclosure that would make me even more cross.

Does she phone local police stations? Or just sit still and wait to be contacted?

TrixieFranklin · 07/06/2019 20:22

Goodness I'm glad he's safe and well but feeling for you Op.