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Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
Lobsterquadrille2 · 11/06/2019 08:02

@SummerPlace you and me both! It never leaves you.

Overseasmom100 · 11/06/2019 22:42

Any update OP

RiversDisguise · 12/06/2019 00:28

Any update @Stickywhitelovepiss ?

My fingers are getting numb from hand holding tbh

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 18:59

@RiversDisguise - thanks for maintaining the handhold!

I’ve carried on reading but don’t have much by way of update. OH swears he didn’t realise he was under arrest till we rang up together, and that they just asked him to accompany them to the police station for a test. Which would be a hard thing not to notice - I’ve watched enough Bill over the years to know that you have to be actively placed under arrest.

So things have gone back to semi normality pending the bloods.

If clear, it’s business as usual and put it down as ‘one of those things’.

If not.... well, that’s a whole other shitstorm...

I’ve massively appreciated the advice I’ve received on this thread, particularly from @hellenbackagen.

OP posts:
fedup21 · 12/06/2019 19:03

OH swears he didn’t realise he was under arrest till we rang up together,

That is just bizarre!?

AnthonyCrowley · 12/06/2019 19:03

He must have known he was under arrest, you get read your rights!

Angelf1sh · 12/06/2019 19:06

So he’s still lying to you and you’re fine with that? He would have been informed he was under arrest. He would have had his phone taken off of him (which is why he couldn’t answer it on the multiple occasions you called). There’s just no way he couldn’t have realised.

Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:06

You cannot be arrested and not realise it🤦🏻‍♀️.

Unless you were complete pissed, right enough......

Shequakes · 12/06/2019 19:09

So he hasnt even admitted he lied about being arrested?

Tell him that he must put in a complaint against the officers. If they didnt read him his rights, then need to be pulled on this it's not ok.

Bet you anything he wont raise the complaint because he knows, they did.

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 19:15

I am not fine with it at all.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:18

He is still lying to you. He knows he was arrested.

justasking111 · 12/06/2019 19:19

Oh wait till the results come back everything else is speculation. How is your car OP?

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 19:20

But good call to press the point via Complaints - not sure how you’d ever prove it though either way.

He says they didn’t take his phone off him and wouldn’t let him use it. But also said he was only in the cell to use the toilet, where he presumably could have texted out of sight.

It has been confirmed with the police that he gave them my number and asked him to call.

Subject to bloods, it’s likely at worst minimisation- which I fully realise is still not good to say the least.

Oh and have contacted insurance with him and whole story has been told to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 19:21

Car is fine.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:21

justasking It’s not speculation. He’s lying to her about the whole thing.

Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:22

Op, I, also a police officer. What he says isn’t possible.

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 19:28

Yes, I get this totally- he has probably backed himself into a corner now and can’t go back from it.

If it was all one big mistake, I can just about live with this - though trust between us will take a huge hit.

I will make sure to get independent verification of blood tests. I am working myself up to that, and if there was alcohol involved, will be back on MN sharing with you lovely lot what I could never, ever possibly share with anyone in real life.

OP posts:
managedmis · 12/06/2019 19:30

When are the results due?

Divinelyuninspired · 12/06/2019 19:30

He would have had his mugshot and fingerprints taken. Was he not aware what was happening then?

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 12/06/2019 19:30

6 weeks!!!!

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:32

To be honest, by this stage the blood results are almost irrelevant. It’s the lying that is the issue. And he has breached your trust and I think that will be harder to recover from.

He’s fucked up. He needs to own it. Mistakes are made and it’s not the end of the world but treating you like this isn’t on.

Take care x

Jonette · 12/06/2019 19:35

This is all getting weird. 6 weeks for bloods?

So he didn't realise he was arrested.
He wasn't put into a cell.
He was allowed his phone but not allowed to make a call.

I'm kinda with the police officers on this thread.

Did he have a solicitor at any point? If you're arrested for ANYTHING, you're allowed free legal representation.

Frith2013 · 12/06/2019 19:37

“He was only in the cell to use the toilet”.

What does he mean? He popped into a cell to use the loo? Aren’t there other loos for the public?

Sorry if I’ve read that wrong.

twirlypoo · 12/06/2019 19:38

To be honest, by this stage the blood results are almost irrelevant. It’s the lying that is the issue. And he has breached your trust and I think that will be harder to recover from

Oh OP, this with bells on. It doesn’t even really matter any more what it’s about, it’s the fact he’s lying to you.

I was arrested once and had to make a statement (not pleasant!) and you can’t miss it, they didn’t handcuff me, but they have to explain they are arresting you And then read you the bit you hear on tv programmes about your rights etc.

I was pregnant when I was arrested, and they let me use the main loo in the station with someone waiting outside. They won’t have made him goto the loo in a cell unless he was actually put in one!

How are you feeling about it all? Have you told any one in real life? Flowers

Nicknacky · 12/06/2019 19:38

6 weeks or so is normal for blood, possibly even long.