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Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:

hellenbackagen · 08/06/2019 20:36

Leaving now as verging on the ridiculous.

Op if you need advice pm me and I'll answer.

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 08/06/2019 20:52

@hellenbackagen lots of people on here are keen to disagree with those who actually KNOW police procedure like yourself and instead come up with wild alternatives. In fact they aren't even listening to the OP who has stated her DH has the paperwork showing he's been arrested for drink driving. But they don't let pesky things like facts get in the way of a good drama 🙄
Hopefully OP will have more facts soon and be able to decide what to do about the lies as she KNOWS he's lied as per her comments about what the police have said. All the best OP

ChuggaChuggaChoooChooo · 08/06/2019 20:58

Yeah, because police are the absolute best, upstanding citizens and they never get things wrong 🙄

OP, you know your husband. It's up to you if you believe him or not.

hellenbackagen · 08/06/2019 21:05

Chugga

You clearly no absolutely nothing about police processes.

My offer stands to op to give advice cos yeah I'm an upstanding member of the police and I know the law, and police procedures and I do not get it wrong and haven't in 10 years.

You'd be hard pushed to find any cops who wrongfully arrest for opl driving and the law says to arrest you need suspicion.
Just suspicion- then you gather evidence to negate or prove the offence.

Why people who know fuck all try to advise on matters of law makes me wonder what their motives are.

Being anti police doesn't make you right I'm afraid.

KitKat1985 · 08/06/2019 21:09

Nothing helpful to add OP but just to say we're all here and listening if you need to talk.

catinboots99 · 08/06/2019 23:42

I cannot believe the shite and drivel posted on this thread as fact.

@hellenbackagen I completely understand why you are leaving the thread.

Butterfly98 · 08/06/2019 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mummyto2munchkins · 09/06/2019 00:27

Hope you get the answers you need OP

AntiHop · 09/06/2019 00:48

For the record, I have an android phone and it doesn't show 999 in the call log.

QuimReaper · 09/06/2019 01:34

the law says to arrest you need suspicion.
Just suspicion- then you gather evidence to negate or prove the offence.

Isn't that the point? We all know by now he was taken in on suspicion of drink driving, but not whether he was, or why they suspected he was.

marcopront · 09/06/2019 02:33

Isn't that the point? We all know by now he was taken in on suspicion of drink driving, but not whether he was, or why they suspected he was.

We also know he said he wasn't arrested and then he said he was.
So whatever his reasons he has lied and so therefore it is possible he has lied again and there is more to the story.
If he was sober why would he be worried about the blood tests?

ReganSomerset · 09/06/2019 05:38

if he was sober why would he be worried about the blood tests

Wasn't it said upthread that he suffers from anxiety? Worries aren't always rational in that case. I get uneasy walking through customs in case something illegal has made its way into my bag without my knowledge, even though logically it is very unlikely to have done so.

NameChangerAmI · 09/06/2019 06:41

Hope everything is OK for you, OP.

Kittykat93 · 09/06/2019 07:37

Christ some of the suggestions on this thread are just ridiculous! I think the op's husband has lied to minimise what happened. But suggesting he's been kerb crawling, is a secret alcoholic, etc. Is just a stupid and far fetched assumption to make based purely off this story!

eurochick · 09/06/2019 07:58

So he was arrested. He failed to blow three times so they arrested him and did a blood test. I suspect a secret drinking problem.

needsahouseboy · 09/06/2019 08:03

from someone that had asked people to blow in a breathalyser 100’s of times........he deliberately failed it. It’s not a difficult task to do unless incredibly drunk or have very bad lung problems.

Most people are more than capable of taking a breath and blowing hard enough for the few seconds it takes to complete. He was pissed and had tried to buy himself some time. Sorry you are going through this but he is lying to you.

wafflyversatile · 09/06/2019 08:30

My sister was breathalysed when the police stopped her because one of her back lights wasnt working. I was with her.

The OP often criticises her DHs driving. There was an accident. They would breathalyse. If the breathalyser showed incomplete maybe it was malfunctioning so they needed a blood test.

Maybe he lied because he didn't want the OP to worry. Maybe he isn't being evil for mumsnet entertainment. Maybe hes just human like women are.

I don't smuggle drugs but I still have a moment of anxiety when I go through nothing to declare.

babbi · 09/06/2019 08:33

Another police viewpoint..
100 % he has been charged with drunk driving and will be convicted.
He tried hard to avoid it proceeding by deliberately mucking about with the roadside breathalyser ..
He knew he was going to fail .
Legal process will now kick in ..

Meantime OP it seems he has been self medicating with alcohol due to anxiety.
Suggest you encourage him to get help with this now .

EdithWeston · 09/06/2019 08:39

He had several hours at the police station to come to terms with what was going on. He could have asked to call his wife if he was that worried about her, not use the time to cook up a set of lies which are transparent bullshit to anyone who knows anything about police procedure and the law.

Lying to someone who is meant to be a true partner, especially when on something important, is a huge deal. Worse in its way than drink driving.

How do you come to terms with living with someone you cannot rely on when the Big Stuff comes up

MintyT · 09/06/2019 08:39

For what it's worth I would sit it out and see what the results are.
You do t need to end the relationship because of this but you do need to address the lying. Tell him you would rather be hurt with the truth rather than a lie.
I would also ( rather once you have the results) ask him why his phone call wasn't to you then you could have informed his work and saved you all that worry.
Re the accident I wouldn't report it, it will impact the renewal price ( you should tho ) and if they know he was arrested they will probably request a copy of this DVLA summary to see if if got a conviction - which you have to inform them off

Shequakes · 09/06/2019 08:40

They would breathalyse. If the breathalyser showed incomplete maybe it was malfunctioning so they needed a blood test..

Not really. If its malfunctioning and the test is being done, purely for procedure. They would usually get a nearby car to bring another test not go to the time and expense of taking 2 people in, arresting them, keeping them all day and doing blood tests.

ReganSomerset · 09/06/2019 08:45

I think there are always exceptions to a rule and just because a number of police officers have apparently never met someone who blew an incomplete result a number of times and wasn't drunk, doesn't mean it can't happen. I think people should keep an open mind, rather than trying to be judge, jury and executioner based on half the evidence, no matter how compelling that half might be.

mydogisthebest · 09/06/2019 08:55

I am certainly not anti police but neither do I think they are all absolute angels who never lie and never get anything wrong.

My DH and a friend had the misfortune to have dealings with Essex police. Some of them certainly are liars and also pretty crap at their job. Losing a vital piece of evidence and then lying about it!

ssd · 09/06/2019 09:10

Helen I've just got the tutu bit, brings back memories

beanaseireann · 09/06/2019 09:10

hellenbackagen
so glad to see you here agen
Always so kind to others in distress.

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