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Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
mumofwantwomany · 08/06/2019 10:42

I'd be more annoyed that he'd lied to me above anything else

NicoAndTheNiners · 08/06/2019 10:43

It's unlikely the breathalyser wasn't working 3x. Plus they have the bigger one at the station. More likely he was doing the thing of not blowing hard enough.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 08/06/2019 10:43

He's probably still lying to you. It's taken him this long to change his story from being there voluntarily to having been arrested. Hopefully the results will show he wasn't over the influence but there's something dodgy going on with what he is telling you

changingnam · 08/06/2019 10:44

Couldn't he be telling the truth? I know it's not the usual done thing if it's a small bump, but if they thought he could be under the influence and if the breathalyser wasn't working (not impossible) he'd be taken in, and it could take a while to process him as a non priority case?

Oblomov19 · 08/06/2019 10:44

Hang on a sec: Dh keeps changing his story.
Before he said "but that he wasn't ever arrested". Now he's saying he was arrested.
Suspicious.

JustHereforHarriet · 08/06/2019 10:44

Okay so all that being said, why has he been so shady? Are we absolutely certain he was in the car alone? Just a thought but lunch times when you pop home regularly also present an opportunity. Could he be afraid that the official record shows he wasn’t alone?

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:48

The likelihood why he was being shady is he knows I'd be upset by all this, and wanted to see how much he could get away by hiding the extent from me. Can totally believe though that it took way more time than he expected, so has been caught out.

Not curb crawling or affair - I do know that much.

My main worry at this point was if last night's drinking could carry over to 3pm - but surely unlikely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:49

Not that he would have gone on a bender the night before or anything!

OP posts:
Skyejuly · 08/06/2019 10:51

I've had a car reverse into me and there was no obvious damage at all from a look!

DtPeabodysLoosePants · 08/06/2019 10:53

Just read the full thread. Am glad he's been found OP but sorry he's lying to you. What's the next step now with the police?

CherieBabySpliffUp · 08/06/2019 10:56

Calls to 999 don't show in your call logs Hmm

BastardGoDarkly · 08/06/2019 10:57

Why not Cherie

OhTheRoses · 08/06/2019 10:57

Hmm.

I have had an rtc where the other driver was out of control of his car. Much damage to mine. He was elderly and possibly ill. Police and ambulance called.

I had to make a formal statement in the police car. I was also breathalysed because they said if charges were made they needed to evidence both parties were treated the same. It was 2.30pm. Breathalyser clear but I've no doubt if they hadn't had a test, they'd have required a fyrther test.

The police were apologetic and utterly charming. They escorted me to my home as car not roadworthy and that saved waiting for a breakdown truck. At home the policeman secured the parts hanging off with gaffer tape for me so I cd get to garage under own steam.

Quartz2208 · 08/06/2019 10:58

The thing is if he had not been drinking the blood test are not an issue yet he is worried about them under the pretext of drinking the night before - how much and when did he stop the more you drink the longer it takes a all night session yes could still be thrtr

WeeDangerousSpike · 08/06/2019 11:01

Doesn't incomplete mean he didn't blow enough for the machine to work? People do it thinking they can delay the testing till their blood alcohol has reduced over time.l I think.

JustHereforHarriet · 08/06/2019 11:02

@soola But if the woman was working, why did she want someone to take her out of her way? Surely she was on her patch to make money? She didn’t need a lift!

NameChangerAmI · 08/06/2019 11:03

So how do you feel about it all this morning, OP?

Has he explained why he didn't call you - was it because he didn't want you to worry, and assumed that he'd be back before you found out, so wouldn't need to tell you any of it?

I don't understand why he wouldn't have called you by the time it reached 6:00pm, when he'd normally be home, to put your mind at rest. By then, surely he knew that you would be worried, and that you'd need to know what was going on.

Initially, I thought it was all a load of bollocks, tbh, but now I can sort of see how he just hoped you wouldn't ever need to know about it. That would have been the case, had he got home before you became worried.

Unless I've missed something.

Lindy2 · 08/06/2019 11:03

I'm glad he's home safe OP.
It does sound strange but if he was the one who phoned 999 and he has photos of the accident scene then that part of his explanation is true.
There may be more to it but I think you might need to give him a bit of time before he's ready to give you more details.
He may be waiting for the blood results before talking to you.
I know the tolerance levels for drug driving are very very low. Is any type of drug taking a possibility? At work or socially? There are many professionals who take drugs like cocaine to help with work stress.
Give him time.I imagine he's shocked and stressed right now.

JustHereforHarriet · 08/06/2019 11:03

Wee I think an insufficient breath sample is a common reason for that, yes.

VanGoghsDog · 08/06/2019 11:04

Reversing into someone and then getting ranty is a well known scam. I wonder if the police thought that and took both parties to the station so as to seem impartial? Maybe they suspected the other party of being over the limit as well as pulling a scam.

Still seems odd he didn't call OP to let her know but maybe he kept thinking he'd be back soon and didn't want to worry her and then it was too late or he couldn't get hold of anyone to ask for the phone.

mummyhaschangedhername · 08/06/2019 11:07

What made them suspect drink driving though?

All a but strange, I guess the blood results will reveal all. They shouldn't take long should they?

Sorry you're going through this OP.

LIZS · 08/06/2019 11:08

Have you seen your car yet, driven it? There may be more damage under the bodywork, depending how it was hit. Also other driver/owner/passenger may make a claim so he must tell insurer. Any witnesses that you are aware of, dashcam or cctv.

Sassenach85 · 08/06/2019 11:09

My dh's cousin goes home for lunch everyday. To spend time with his baby. Actually, he's an alcoholic and needs to sneak a drink in at lunchtime to keep up the charade ...

LarkDescending · 08/06/2019 11:12

“Coming up to 3pm” (the 999 call) is surprisingly late for a return to work after lunch. What time were the accident scene photos taken?

GrumbleBumble · 08/06/2019 11:14

justhereforharriet I think in that situation "give me a lift" is code for "I know where we can go to do the deed" and a curb crawler would know that while a very naïve guy would think "lift" meant lift.