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Original poster

Hand hold: DH missing after "accident"

976 replies

Stickywhitelovepiss · 07/06/2019 19:20

I know it's not been long, but this is really out of character and not sure what to do next.

Rang my DH on his mobile to let him know what time I'd get in and he didn't answer - often happens so then call him on work line. His work said he'd called in on way back in after lunch saying he'd been in a car accident but was fine, and neither hide nor hair heard since. That's all I know - no indication of the severity of the accident or where he or my car (which he drives) have got to.

I've been trying him on his mobile countless times, called 101 to see if they've got him somewhere, also A&E - but no joy.

He's been off grid for about 5 hours now, when he'd normally have picked me up, got the Tesco and we'd be sitting starting our weekend. But not even a text to let me know he's not dead in a ditch, and I don't have that phone tracker either on this latest handset.

Starting to panic slightly - if anyone is around for a hand hold or some pointers as to how I can track him down that's would be much appreciated....

OP posts:
Booboo66 · 08/06/2019 09:56

DP is a police officer and says exactly the same thing as all the other police officers on this post. Sadly if he decides to continue hiding the truth from you there is no way for you to find out. ExP was a compulsive liar and even when faced with facts continue with his version of events. You'd never get the truth of something like this.

I had a hunch that he wasn't telling the truth to work right from the initial post. Obviously things have escalated from there. The main question is if he wasn't arrested and phone was ringing therefore battery not run out, why didn't he answer it. It's unlikely a car being reversed in to wouldn't have so much as a scratch or a paint smudge too.

hellenbackagen · 08/06/2019 09:58

The accident is also sounding like it didn't happen.

A no damage rtc - police wouldn't even attend.

Op they've pulled him over for something then locked up suspicion of being opl or drug driving.

Whatevermission · 08/06/2019 10:09

Spanish I was thinking that he might be trying to protect OP from the stress of it. My friend was charged with murder!! It wasn't an amusing anecdote for quite a long time!

Soola · 08/06/2019 10:09

A poster mentioned kerb crawling.

I used to work with a guy who was very nice, married and a bit naive.

According to him he was on his way home from work when he saw a young woman by the side of the road looking upset.

He pulled over to ask if she was ok and she jumped in the car and asked for a lift. He greed to give her the lift but was pulled over by a police car and he was arrested for solicitation.

This was before mobile phones so he couldn’t contact his wife immediately.

Anyway it made the local paper so everyone knew and I think he was then fined when it went to court as the girl involved wouldn’t corroborate his innocence.

Funny enough because we had all known him for years we could see how he was naive and innocent and he had the backing and support of all of his colleagues and the company. He did get ribbed quite a bit though!

His wife believed him too and they’re still married decades later.

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:13

So OH spoke to the police station with me on speaker phone.

He was arrested for suspicion of drink driving, and had now dug out the paperwork to that effect.

He swears he wasn't under the influence. But it will be a nerve-wracking wait for those blood test results.

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 08/06/2019 10:15

So he was randomly pulled over?

Was the 'accident' all made up lies?

Whatevermission · 08/06/2019 10:15

Was there an accident? Or was he just pulled over for driving erratically then?

hellenbackagen · 08/06/2019 10:17

Op
Glad you got truth but honestly if he wasn't under influence why didn't he just blow into the intoxyliser and prove it there and then???

He is still lying to you .

MarthasGinYard · 08/06/2019 10:17

Was he breathalysed and then arrested?

Babyduck2 · 08/06/2019 10:17

I'm going to go against the grain here and say he could well be telling the truth.
After the fuck up the police have just made of a attempted rape case of a family member I can truly believe this.
It's been one huge fuck up after another, one mess around after another, waiting around, appointments missed, 3 months to make a arrest. I can believe his story...I'm sure your just glad he's ok, bet you didn't know wether to hug or slap him when he came through the door!

hellenbackagen · 08/06/2019 10:19

Prepare yourself.

The bloods will more than likely show over the limit.

He will have a court appearance and will most likely get a ban.

And he clearly had a drink issue you know nothing about.

Quartz2208 · 08/06/2019 10:20

If it’s a nerve racking wait he clearly had a drink OP I’m afraid I think this is going to be about a drinking problem

How much have you noticed him drinking

youarenotkiddingme · 08/06/2019 10:26

Doesn't matter if no damage.
Most insurance companies terms and conditions are to report any accident regardless of damage or claims made.

This is because the other driver could make a claim (rightly or wrongly) and the insurers must have details of what happened.

I recently scratched someone's car. They offered to avoid insurers as was cheap fix paint job (they did provide quotes). However years of MNing told me this wasn't enough as they could still claim and if I haven't reported my insured can't dispute their version of complaints.
And as it is my insurance rose less than the cost of paying for repair myself!

Another friend tapped the back of a car. They had no visible damage and her numberplate was cracked. She luckily took photos of hers as she'd sent to DH. No photos or details exchanged as no damage iyswim? Next thing she knows the other insurers are claiming 25k for damage to other car and injury. Because she didn't report it they are claiming the picture could have been from another time, she'd got damage fixed etc. Her only saving grace was iPhone records date and time of photos. 5 minutes after alleged "massive shunt at approx 15mph".

You need truth to report to insurance company. And if you find out he's lied have him removed from your insurance even if this is t a deal breaker relationship wise it would be regarding him using my property with trust again.

DoctorDread · 08/06/2019 10:29

I got pulled over once for 'erratic driving' as the police thought I'd been drinking (I hadn't - I'd just changed a cd and clearly had a wheel wobble)- they didn't have a breathalyser kit in the car and had to call colleagues to bring one. I had to wait 45 mins by the roadside and they wouldn't let me go until they'd done the test even though I'd not touched a drop. I did the test and as expected, it was negative.

Op if the police have pulled him over under suspicion he will have been breathalysed. And if they've ordered a blood test they wouldn't have done so without reason - probably for drugs as they have a big machine to blow into at the station which accurately records blood alcohol. Sorry op but it sounds like he's still minimising ☹️

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:33

He says the accident happened, and police were called as the other guy was being aggressive and wouldn't swap his details.

I've just checked his phone and he did call 999 coming up to 3pm yesterday. Which would be stupid thing to do if he had been under the influence.

OP posts:
Sparklingfairylights · 08/06/2019 10:33

Poor you OP, do you think possible he may have had a drink at lunchtime?

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:34

The breathalyser showed three times as incomplete, hence the blood test (not a urine one he says).

I will contact the insurance company as a precaution.

OP posts:
LillithsFamiliar · 08/06/2019 10:34

Was there an accident at all OP? You need to know the truth so you can get your car checked out and let insurance know.

CakeNinja · 08/06/2019 10:34

Sadly he’s desperately tried to cover this all up and it’s now come out.
If the car is exactly as it was, it sounds like he faked the accident to give him an almost credible alibi as to why he was at the police station all afternoon and evening. Stupid if there’s no actual damage to the car, did he think you wouldn’t notice?
Did he drink a lot the night before which might not have left his system?

As an aside, I sometimes come home for lunch. It’s a 10 minute walk for me each way and I get an hour. Might as well use that time to get a load of washing on/unload the dishwasher/get away from work so I’m not giving them a free hour of work!
I’m surprised so many people are surprised that some people do this.

CalmConfident · 08/06/2019 10:35

OP I am with people here that he likely Miki minimising.

However you did say "He would be in trouble as he knows I don't like his driving at the best of times, and have always been paranoid he'd crash my car"

Could his driving have been erratic which led to him being pulled over?

macncheese87 · 08/06/2019 10:36

OP, he would almost definitely have blown over the limit in order for him to be arrested.

My ex was pulled over for erratic driving. They breathalysed him at the roadside, he was all clear, so he went on his way as if nothing happened.

The only reasons your partner was taken to the station would be if he blew over the limit (likely) or if he refused a breath sample and he was suspected of driving under the influence. Both are arrests or offences.

The blood test would be used to hold up in court.

He is still lying to you. He's probably scared. But he can't hide this. Chances are this will go to court so he needs to be honest with you now.

Original poster
Stickywhitelovepiss · 08/06/2019 10:37

Aha. Got the photos of the scene of the accident off his phone. No visible damage.

OP posts:
LillithsFamiliar · 08/06/2019 10:39

Cross-post. So there was an accident. The other person was aggressive. Did the police confirm this to you when you called the station?

threeboysandus · 08/06/2019 10:39

Wow what a stressful night for you, hope you get results soon

macncheese87 · 08/06/2019 10:40

He's admitted he was arrested OP. You need to look into that more.